Who carries a machete?

What a way to say goodbye to 2009.

My friend was a little nervous when she saw a homeless man sleeping in her hallway. She didn't want to call the police, so she called her landlord (who lives downstairs) to inform her. I guess the landlord called the police, because there was quite a scuffle in the hallway.. and my friend heard,

SIR. DO NOT REACH FOR THAT. DO NOT PULL OUT THAT MACHETE. SIR. DON'T TAKE THAT OUT... DO NOT RESIST! WE HAVE TOLD YOU BEFORE THAT YOU CAN'T BE SOMEWHERE YOU DON'T BELONG.

Um. Why was a homeless man with a MACHETE sleeping outside my friend's door!??? And where does one acquire a machete? It's not like there are specialty machete stores. Not here, anyway!

I don't think she's going to mind that 2009 is over now... Happy New Year, everyone!

No, I'm fine. Really. I'm fine.

Do you ever find yourself being unnaturally upset about something that in all honestly shouldn't mean that much?

My ex is engaged. Which is great. And honestly, I'm happy for him and I think that his fiancee is good for him. And really the problem isn't that my ex is engaged to someone else. It's that my ex is engaged before I am engaged. My ex who was terrified of committment and sabotaged our relationship by sleeping with someone else because we were getting more serious than he wanted to be. My ex who spend the following YEAR actively trying to sleep with me and get me back. My ex that I am still friends with, but there's that strange tension everytime we see each other because it's like I'm "the one who got away."

Should I be upset that this guy... mr. committment-phobe is engaged, and I, who has been in a very serious relationship for seven years, am not? Everyone is getting engaged and getting married before me. And every time someone else gets married or announces that they're getting engaged, I get more and more upset. Like actual tears upset. I don't know what to do. I'm never getting married.

I knew there was a reason I hated snow.

Saturday was actually very lovely. Even though outside was ridiculous, I basically didn't move all day. We ended up with 17 inches. Gene did go out in the morning, because he had to work at the station, but he got there and came home without incident. The party in Jersey ended up being cancelled, and probably for the best because my friend would have made his 1000 shrimp, and then he would have been left to eat them all by himself.

Sunday, the roads were still a bit scary, and of course I had to go to my retail job. God forbid they take the safety of their employees into consideration. This morning everything was okay though.

The worst part of this whole thing is that my best friend is now stranded in Ireland. Her flight from Dublin to Philly was CANCELLED. She was supposed to come in on Sunday, and the earliest flight she could get out of Dublin was on Thursday..Christmas Eve. And I don't know if her trip is going to get extended, so that means that I probably won't get to see her since she'll only be home for 5 days instead of 10. Needless to say, I'm a bit angry at Mother Nature right now. She's only home twice a year. If worse comes to worst, then I'll just go to her house after Christmas Brunch with Daddy Dearest and hang out at her house. I know her family won't let me kidnap her for the day. I really hope that it works itself out...

Snow comes up, Charlie Brown. It comes up!

You would think that living on the east coast, I'd be used to snow by now. I hate snow. People become stupid when it snows. Last weekend, my plans were ruined by snow. And THIS weekend it looks like they're going to be ruined by snow again. It's my friend's annual Night of 1000 Shrimp Party. This is the 4th year we've been invited (we've only known these people for 4 years) and it's the first time we've been able to go. And are we? Probably not if it's snowing.

The party is about 2 hours away... and after the fiasco driving to the Lehigh Valley last week, I'm absolutely NOT going ANYWHERE NEAR Jersey and their ridiculous drivers in this kind of weather. No thank you.

Don't get me wrong... snow is pretty. And when I was in school, I LOVED snow because that meant I got to stay home and play in it! But now? When it snows? I have to go to work. Because radio still happens when it snows. In fact, more people listen to the radio when it snows.. because we tell people what is closed. So I HAVE to go to work (unless it's a state of emergency I think, in which case that never happens here). If I got to just stay inside, drink hot chocolate, knit, watch movies, and LOOK at the snow... I'd be all for it. But instead, the snow is just going to screw up my weekend plans and then make me cry on my drive to work because everyone around me has completely forgotten how to drive in the snow.

This also makes me think of this one time Gene was pulled over last winter, and he had a shovel in his backseat. The police officer started grilling him about it... and I think he wanted to search the car or something, and Gene just said, "Um, officer? We live in Delaware. It snows here. I need the shovel to dig my car out, and last time it was in my trunk, the trunk was iced shut."

Eight more hours

That's how much extra time per day I'd like. Mainly do I can go for 24 hours, sleep for 8 hours, and then go for another 24. Honest to Pete... I have so many things that need to be done. I'm much farther along in my knitting (haven't worked on the sweater at all, though.. I'm pretty sure he's getting sweater pieces for Christmas). But my other Christmas PURCHASES I'm slacking on.

I also don't have a Christmas tree up. We did a major clean of the downstairs (I even cleaned out THE CLOSET) in preparation for the tree. And then life happened. So... no tree. And unless Gene can grade and I can knit WHILE we put up the tree, I don't see it happening anytime soon. Our first Christmas living together, I put up our tree BY MYSELF on Christmas Eve. I'm not doing that again!

I'm not baking cookies this year. Usually, I have a battle with my aunt. She always brings cookies. 24 cookies. For 30 people. I bring 300 cookies. And have little left overs. And she gets SO MAD when I bring cookies... and I think it's hilarious.

I also have to deal with Christmas with 3 families. We've never had a problem before this year. Since Daddy Dearest effed things up five years ago, we have 3 families to deal with instead of 2. Christmas Eve we spend with Gene's parents. Christmas morning we drive an hour to my mom's house, then I go to my dad's for dinner. Wonderful. Well, last year... we switched it up. We had Christmas dinner at our house Christmas night, and saw my mom on Christmas Eve instead so that I had all day to cook. Because of that, my dad, my brother, my sister, and myself got to exchange gifts by ourselves like we used to, instead of in front of our extended family. I think my dad really liked that.

Because of that, this year Daddy Dearest is trying to convince us to drive to his house (which is out of the way for everyone involved) Christmas morning. Well, that doesn't work. I'm not driving an hour away to go to dinner 20 minutes from my house and turn a 20 minute drive into a 2 1/2 hour drive. No. So then he wants us to come over on Christmas Eve. No. So now we've compromised. We're having Christmas brunch on Saturday (which is also my sister's birthday). It was dinner, but it became brunch because my brother has to work and blah blah blah. Seriously... this is getting to be way more of a hassle than it needed to be. But if my dad had thought of this, oh, SOMETIME earlier than 10 days before Christmas, then we could have worked something else out!

And in the midst of all of this, I'm trying to figure out when I can see Ireland Girl when she's home for all of 10 days. Of those 10 days, there are only two where I am available. But she doesn't know what her family has planned, so it's entirely possible that I won't see her at all while she's home. And then I will have a sad.

Nomination Time

I love Golden Globes and Oscar time. I love speculating who is going to win vs. who I want to win. And this year I have some very strong opinions. So I decided to break down those categories that I have strong feelings about.

Best Motion Picture - Drama
Avatar
The Hurt Locker
Inglourious Basterds
Precious
Up in the Air

The only film I've seen in this list is Up in the Air, so obviously I want that to win. Based on other buzz and reviews I've seen, however, I think that Precious is probably going to take it.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Motion Picture - Musical or Comedy
Sandra Bullock, The Proposal
Marion Cottilard, Nine
Julia Roberts, Duplicity
Meryl Streep, It’s Complicated
Meryl Streep, Julie & Julia

I saw The Proposal. And I saw Julie & Julia. I am going to see It's Complicated, because apparently one of my friends from college has a scene with Meryl and Alec (HOW AWESOME IS THAT??), and I intend to see Nine because I love that musical. I haven't heard of Duplicity. But, again, based on what I saw and what I've heard.... I think (and want) Meryl Streep to win for Julia Child. It was just awesome.

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Motion Picture
Penélope Cruz, Nine
Vera Farmiga, Up in the Air
Anna Kendrick, Up in the Air
Mo’Nique, Precious
Julianne Moore, A Single Man

I LOVE ANNA KENDRICK. I love her. I thought she was hilarious in Camp... she's my favorite part of that movie. She's perfect as Jessica in the Twilight Saga (in fact if you ask anyone who knows me... I SQUEALED when I saw that Anna would be playing Jessica. Because I love her). She was great in Up in the Air. I really want her to win. She won't. But I really want her to. I think Mo'Nique is probably going to take that... or Julianne Moore.

It's not that I don't CARE about the other categories, but these are the categories that I have strong feelings about. I do hope Clooney wins for Up in the Air. I really thought that was a great film.

I also have strong opinions for the television nominations also. I hope Mad Men wins again for best drama. This season was I think the best yet, and if you aren't watching Mad Men yet, what is wrong with you? Mad Men is the awesome! But I'd be just as happy if True Blood won. I'm torn on best actress for drama... because I love Anna Paquin, Kyra Sedgwick, January Jones, and Juliana Margulies (not that I hate Glenn Close because I loves her, I just don't watch Damages).

The only thing that I will be upset if it doesn't happens... I love my NPH. And Barney Stinson is (wait for it) legendary. I think it's Neil's time.

Christmas Knitting check-in

We are 2 weeks from Christmas. And how's my knitting going?

People who are done:
* Sister
* Mom
* nuWife

People are are started:
* Brother (90%)
* Gene (60%)
* Colleen (50%)
* Future MIL (5%)

Not even started:
* Gene's gramma
* Gene's dad (if I have time...)

I had to do a few switcheroos. If you notice... Daddy Dearest is off the list, and Brother is in. Why? Because when I asked my brother what he wanted for Christmas he said, "But I thought you were making something for me..." in a very disappointed "but I was really looking forward to that" kind of way, and I melted. So my dad's scarf is now for my brother. So now my father is the only person in my immediate family who isn't getting anything handknit from me. But you know what? I've never IN MY LIFE seen that man wear a scarf or a hat. I think once I saw him wear gloves. And if he really wants something, then I'll make something.

I also changed the MIL's gift from mittens to a cowl. Why? Because the pattern I picked for the mittens is written in Dutch. I don't speak or read Dutch. There is an English translation, but it isn't written as clearly as I like patterns written... and I'm not doing math nor am I guessing. So cowl it is. It's still in the same yarn (white alpaca... very elegant and VERY warm) and I started it yesterday.

I finally found the sleeves for Gene's sweater. And even though his is my largest project, and I started his first... his is the last on my list. It's probably good anyway, because if I give it to him unfinished... I can have him try it on and make sure it's fitting. He really has no idea that it's coming, though. I think. I think he's tried to pry and SEE if I'm giving him a sweater, but I'm really good at the "I'm never making you a sweater, damnit" game.

I totally forgot that I told Gene I would make his grandmother something. Hers might not be done by Christmas. It's most likely not going to be done by Christmas. She's getting a hot water bottle and a lovely cabled hot water bottle cover.

Colleen's HAS TO BE FINISHED. Her mittens don't take me very long, but I also wanted to do a hat to match. But I don't feel like international shipping. She comes back to the States Dec 20 and is here for about 10 days... so hers needs to get done fairly soon. I want to be farther along in the MIL first.

WHY WHY WHY did I do this to myself!????

Why can't I just give it up?

We all know that I consider myself a "recovering" actor. Every now and then, I have a relapse (like when I did the 2008 NYC Fringe Festival) but then I go back to my regularly scheduled life. I do keep many actor friends. Most of my friends from college were actors... and most of them live in NYC or LA trying to make it work in "the business."

Then I have my poker friends who are also actors, but I met them post college (and I'm the youngest by I think only 5 years, but most of them are 10+ years older than I). One of these friends is an agent, and he's the agent for all these guys. Then I have my friend Kevin who lives in NYC and keeps trying to get me to give him my resume (both acting and professional) because he thinks I'd be "awesome" in New York. And I have a guy who works with me at the station who tells me every. day. how I have a great voice and a lot of talent (he's never seen me act before, for the record) and that he thinks I need to pursue it.

Ideally, I'd LOVE to be a voice over actor. I would love nothing more than to just voice things for the rest of my life. That's actually been my dream since I was young. Then, I wanted to be a Disney princess. Now I'll settle for whatever. I have the resources. I understand the business. I'm just a little bit chicken, and a lot overwhelmed. I didn't deal well with rejection, which was why I left acting. But a large part of me wants to ask my agent friend to maybe send me out on a few commercial auditions. Or ask my friend Kevin if he knows a voice agent who would work with me or at least listen to my demo.

I don't know... I'm torn.

Weekend SNAFU

I was so looking forward to this weekend. Gene and I were going on a date (out to dinner at this GREAT local restaurant we love, and then drove up to Philly to see Up in the Air at one of the limited release theatres--it's great. Go see it.). We were taking a trip up to see our friends on Saturday, and then I was getting my hairs did on Sunday.

Friday night, as I said, was wonderful. The food was awesome... the movie was great... I had a really nice time. I should date my boyfriend more often. Then Saturday happened. It snowed here on Saturday, and by snowed... I mean, snow came out of the sky and melted as soon as it hit the ground. So when we made our decision to still do our little day trip and go to our friends' house, we didn't know what we were in for. We felt a bit obligated to go. They just bought a house... and we're close with them, but don't see them often since they live an hour and a half north, up near where we all went to college. Before we left, I had a pretty nasty vertigo spell and thought about convincing Gene to stay home, but felt guilty and decided to suck it up.

As we're driving north, the weather is getting progressively worse... but we still think we're doing all right. We're driving slowly, taking our time, being safe. It's annoying, but it isn't dangerous. Then we get a few miles away from the college.. and there is easily 3 inches of snow on the ground, and no one around us knows how to move in it. They all accelerating quickly, then slamming on their breaks, and sliding all over the place. That's not how you drive in snow. When you're driving in snow.. you need to keep steady motion. If you stop, that's when you get stuck... so you just have to keep moving. Even if it's really really slow.. KEEP. MOVING. Gene is yelling at everyone around us... but we make it through. We're moving at a good pace (for driving through snow...) and then we get to the other main road in the area. This road is very VERY hilly. In fact, it's the only road that leads to the town we're going to, and it's up a giant hill, and then down a giant hill.

As we're approaching the giant hill, my GPS tells us to turn left. Okay. I probably should have looked ahead to see where it was taking us. Since we had never been to our friends' house before, we just thought maybe they lived behind the chinese place we used to always eat at. But no. The GPS brings us BACK to the giant hill. Only this time, we have to make a left turn at an awkward angle IN THE SNOW to go UP A HILL where people are sliding all over the fucking place. Luckily there are less people going down the hill... and we decide to make a right, go down the hill, and decide from there.

Except I just kept driving. We made the decision to just go home. If those people were having a hard time, us turning around and getting back in line isn't going to make things easier. And then we still have to get HOME a few hours later. We stop at the gas station with the big convenient store (not Wawa, sadly. I love me some Wawa) get some snacks, fill up the tank, and try to go home. I'm FREAKING out at this point, because the snow is getting worse, and I'm convinced we're going to have to sleep in an Econo Lodge or something and go home in the morning, or worse, sleep in the car in the middle of the road because we're stuck. We get back on the road to immediately stop. For 30 minutes. Because a sports car on the opposite side of the road is disabled. Twenty feet in front of him, another sedan and a jeep are disabled, and there are two tractor trailers that can't get by them. So we're at an impass.

The guy in front of us in camo WITH A GIANT ASS KNIFE storms out of his car and talks to the cop that's helping the sports car, gets back in his car, and drives AROUND the tractor trailers in the MIDDLE of the road. Everyone follows. Once we got past that little cluster, we were home free. The farther south we drove, the warmer the ground was, so nothing was sticking. By the time we got home, it was just raining. But I still had vertigo.

The lime... it burns...

After months of borrowing Gene's car... and being dependant on other people for rides and whatnot... I finally have a car of my very own. It's the second car that I've purchased for myself. All my other cars were hand-me-down or Daddy Dearest E-Bay Specials (my dad has a problem. He likes to buy cars off ebay. It isn't a good idea. We're pretty sure that one of my cars was hot..).

This is also the very first ever NEW car. Not new-to-me car. I've never driven a new car before, let alone OWNED one. Well. Technically I don't own it YET. Not outright anyway. But it's mine.

After three hours (God, that was a long day) at the dealership... I drove away with a 2010 Hyundai Accent... lime green. Why lime green? Because that's the one that they were knocking a whole shit ton of money off for me (because I'm awesome... or because car dealerships are desperate). I loves it. It's funny because when I test drove it, I drove a black one. I said to Gene when I got home "they are all really cute... and I really don't care about color, but there is this light green and light blue that I don't really care for." And what do I get? LIME GREEN. It is cute though. And I can mock the brightness of my car because it's just that... MY CAR.

Wedding number 7... DONE.

This wedding was becoming a big source of terror in my life for about a month... for a few reasons. The bride and I used to be best friends. Used to be being the important part of that sentence. We didn't speak for almost 6 years. And the music that I was singing was challenging music. And I haven't sung in a public setting in over 3 years. So, you can imagine my fear.

The singing went great, actually. My voice didn't crack... I wasn't flat... and I made people cry. That's always my goal... making people cry when I sing. It's a weird goal, but to me, that's the best compliment. Because I always cry when I think someone is amazing, and that's a big compliment from me. One of my friends said that she didn't like the rendition that I sang of Ave Maria because it was too fast... and it could have been. I'd never sang Ave Maria before, so I really don't have a concept of pacing. I thought it felt slow, actually. I like when songs feel like they're moving... it helps me breathe better.

The ceremony was beautiful. The bride looked gorgeous... and her son was waving at her throughout the entire ceremony. And when the priest pronounced that his parents were married, he said "YEAH YEAH YEAH!!" He's one. And awesome. The music was beautiful (and I'm not talking about the singing here.. I'm talking the accompaniment). Her friend played the guitar. Before the ceremony started, he played The Rainbow Connection, God Only Knows, In My Life, and Over the Rainbow (last minute addition). The bride walked down the aisle to I Will, and they left the church to I've Just Seen a Face followed by Let My Love Open the Door. I was dancing in the choir loft to Let My Love Open the Door.

At the ceremony... instead of signing a guestbook, we signed Home Plate. For serious. Their cake topper was a model of the couple in their wedding attire with Phillies jerseys overtop. We had rally towels with the date printed on it, and when the couple came in (after being announced like the starting lineup at a Phillies game) we all waved our rally towels. It was so cool. If you can't tell... the bride and groom are big Phillies phans. She told me that she was trying to hire the Phanatic to come to the wedding, but I guess that didn't happen.

We did have a really good time... I danced a lot. My whole body was sore the next day. The only downside to the whole day was that I was forced to sit at a table with people I severely dislike from high school. People who didn't bother to show up for the ceremony... barely said congratulations to the bride and groom... didn't dance... and wouldn't even say hello to me when they first showed up. As soon as they figured out they were sitting with me at dinner, they started sucking up real fast. They also MOVED MY STUFF so that they could sit closer to the bride. And they didn't even have cameras. But. Against my better judgement and lack of a filter, I was very polite... I didn't call then the four letter word I really wanted to... I didn't start a fight. I just put up a wall, spent my evening with the people who attended that I did like.

And then I went home and played my new Super Mario Brothers Wii game. Because I'm a big ol' nerd.

It's an honor just to be nominated

Wedding update to come later today or tomorrow.. I promise.

But! Apparently, I've been nominated for a contest over at Candy's Daily Dandy! And I needs your votes. So vote for me please!! I'm #10.

I can't believe it's here.

No, not Thanksgiving, Black Friday, or even Christmas music that is already driving me crazy. I can't believe my final wedding of the year is here. Wedding #7. This wedding is the one that I've been dreading.

It's my "best" friend from high school... and I'm singing. I haven't sung out loud in front of people in almost 3 years. I've been practicing my ass off... I've already warmed up my voice today (8am! My neighbors LOVE me). I have my music with me at work... I have lots of tea and lots of water (cuz oh yeah, I still have a cold and nasal congestion! awesome.)

The music has already been changed once a few weeks ago. I'm singing Schubert's Ave Maria (that's the one everyone knows), You Were Mine (which I thought was a funeral song...), the funniest Responsorial Psalm EVER (May your children flourish like olive plants. I have to sing that. And not laugh), and then the bane of my existence.

I suggested to the bride that we do Panis Angelicus for the Eucharistic hymn. She said that she loves that song... and that it's a great idea. Wonderful! Well, I couldn't meet with the music director when they all wanted to do that, so I met with my accompanist the next day. We go over the Panis Angelicus...and it is SO not the version that I know. And I even said to them "MAKE SURE IT'S THE CAESAR FRANCK VERSION." That's the one everyone knows. It's beautiful. Apparently, the music director said "I have two versions of this song. A really really complicated version and a much simpler composition." Guess which one I know. They picked the simple one. I only discovered this seriously like 9 days before the wedding, and at this point, that's way too late to say "Yeah.. um.. we need to do the other one." I did call the bride IMMEDIATELY and warn her that the Panis Angelicus that we're singing is not going to be the Panis Angelicus that she thinks it is. She asked if it was still going to sound good. I mean, it is.. it sounds like it belongs in a funeral because of all the flats.. but it'll sound fine, I suppose. It's a bit boring because it's the same 4 notes over and over again.

I'm still not comfortable with it. And I no longer have a piano (well, keyboard) on my person, so I couldn't even teach myself the song. I'm hoping that it'll just come to me at the rehearsal tonight. I'm a bit terrified. It's funny, because I was fine with the Panis Angelicus and worried about the Ave Maria before this... because it's the song the bride was most excited about.

Please let this go well.

Overwhelmed by the Christmas.

I know it isn't Thanksgiving yet, but Christmas is already giving me an ulcer. This is my first Christmas since I've "rediscovered" knitting, and I decided to do my first handmade Christmas. I know. I'll regret it. But for right now, that's the plan. One of my Christmas presents is 95% finished... my sister's. They're completely knitting, but I need to line them with fleece. Because I'm an overachiever.

The rest of my Christmas knitting?
* Mother = not started. And I can't even talk about it because my mother is in the blogosphere and follows my blog.
* Gene = 40% done? He's getting the biggest knitting project. I started it in September. I'm pretty sure he doesn't read my blog, but just in case he's a little sneak... I'm not saying what it is. But it's full of win.
* My brother = no idea what I'm making him. I don't even have yarn or a pattern picked out.
* Daddy Dearest = yarn is purchased, pattern is picked out. He's getting a scarf. I don't know if he's a scarf wearing person, but his job takes him to very cold places (Vermont, Canada, Washington... it's cold in those places)
* nuWife = I feel if I'm making something for EVERYONE else, I should probably make something for nuWife. So she's getting a scarf too. Ridiculously easy pattern that looks more difficult than it is. Win.
* Gene's dad = Don't know. I have the yarn. Don't know what I'm doing. It's Eagles Green... Gene says scarf. Maybe I'll do a similar pattern to what I'm making for Daddy Dearest.
* Gene's mom = super cool mittens out of ALPACA!! I loves alpaca. Not as much as I LURVE merino, but I loves alpaca.
* Gene's gramma = don't know, but she's so fascinated that I'm a knitter and loves looking at all my projects, so I HAVE to make her something. Ideas??? Gene thinks maybe slippers.
* Best Friend = I don't know if she reads this blog either, but she already knows she's getting mittens because that's what she asked for. It's cold in Ireland.

Here's my dilemma. Now, those of you who are NOT crafters are the ones I'm talking to. This notion is highly debated on ravelry often... where the people who make gifts for don't understand the work and love that went into making it. I've heard many stories of knitters making socks (which take a long time! For me anyway) for people who say "Oh, thanks." and then never wear them. I know that my sister and the best friend will appreciate what I make. I know my mom and Gene's parents will appreciate what I make. It's my brother, Daddy Dearest, and nuWife that I'm worried about. I've never made anything for them before... so I can't really gauge their reaction. Also, my craft bloggy friends know that yarn ain't cheap. At least GOOD yarn ain't cheap. And I like the good stuff. I wasn't planning on getting much else for people for Christmas. Usually I'll do one big gift and then a few little things. Well. This is the big gift. What if they hate it? What if they think I'm a cheapskate, even though I KNOW that I'm not... and I KNOW that I spend a lot on yarn, and spent a lot of my time making the project.

It always amazes me when people who aren't crafters of any kind discover that I'm a knitter. They almost always say, "Well, you must save so much money on sweaters!" Not really. I've made 3 adult sweaters. The yarn on each of those was around $60. It could easily have been $100. I had someone I work with ask me to make her a sweater. I said, well... a sweater is between 30 and 40 hours of work, so let's say it's a complicated sweater and it takes me 40 hours. At $10 an hour (which is actually a low price) that's about $400 plus cost of materials. Her jaw dropped to the floor. You wouldn't ask a carpenter to build you a bookshelf and pay him $50.

I'm just so worried. I want my family to love my work... and to love what I do.

ROAD TRIP!!!

Okay not yet. But this week! Road trip! With my mom!

We're driving out to western Pennsylvania to see my baby sister in her first college play. She's a freshmen this year, and she was cast in a Mainstage show (it's a BFD) so we're driving out to see her. It's about a four hour drive... and we're staying about an hour away, bc I have hotel connections there. So free hotel! yay!

We used to do family roadtrips all the time. Mama Gigi (my gramma) lived in Maryland, and while she was alive, we would drive the three-ish hours once a month to see her. We would ALWAYS have the following for family road trips (that never included my dad. Ever. That really should have been a red beacon of a clue) Taco Bell Supreme Doritos (REMEMBER THOSE??? THEY WERE GOOD!), Cool Ranch Doritos, pretzels, gatorade, water, and some kind of soda. And we always played the license plate game (keep track of all the different states you see), and this other band game. I don't remember the name. I think we called it the band game. We were very inventive. I would say the name of a singer or a band, let's say The Beatles. Then you would have to say the name of a singer or band that began with the letter S because Beatles ends in S. And so on and so forth, until you get stuck. And you can't repeat bands.

On one road trip (to North Carolina.. NINE HOURS) we saw every single license plate in the US and a lot of Canada except for one state. North Dakota. It took me almost ten years to see a North Dakota license plate... and it was last year in a random parking lot in Delaware. I was so excited. I was convinced that cars didn't exist in North Dakota.

For this road trip, we have a book on tape! Now, this book on tape has been a bit of a controversy. I originally wanted to get Outlander by Diana Gabaldon (IT'S AMAZING. READ IT NOW.) but there were 3 problems. It's expensive to buy, it's hard to find in a library, and it's 32 hours unabridged. The abridged version is 8 hours. That's A LOT cut out. So I refuse to get it abridged. My library does have it, but the waiting list is 8 people deep. So I'm not getting it by Friday. I did find a website where I could download it for $7.50, but then there was the 32 hours dilemma. It's only a 4 hour trip. So we'd really only listen to about 1/3 of it.

I got a backup book on tape (ok, cd) from the library... an Alex Cross James Patterson novel. We both like James Patterson (and Alex Cross) and neither of us have read this book. It's also only 8 hours unabridged. So it's a better fit. But I REALLY REALLY REALLY wanted to listen to Outlander, because I know my mom would love it. I'm a bit disappointed.

Now I need to figure out what else we're bringing for road trip snacks! Doritos are a must. But as for the other stuff? Suggestions??

At least I no longer sound like Mrs. Turnblad

Halloween was a mixed holiday for me this year. Normally, I love getting dressed up. I usually spend an entire year trying to come up with the perfect costume. Every year, we go to this big Halloween party with our poker friends and it's always a lot of fun. But this year was bittersweet. Last Halloween was the last time I saw my friend, the chocolate cake man.

So this year, we decided to boycott all things Halloween related and celebrate the Phillies being in the World Series instead. You can see how well that went for us (they lost... in case you aren't paying attention to baseball. They have to win tonight, or else the bastard Yankees get yet another World Series win.)

My Halloween weekend started on Friday, when I went into work for a whole hour... went to the doctor... discovered I had a fever (I don't get fevers hardly ever, and when I do... I'm REALLY sick) and went the hell home. I had to pick Gene up from school, and we went to the drug store to pick up a few things. I decided to stay in the car, so I didn't cough all over everyone inside, and he went inside. When I went to start the car up to go home and make dinner, the car wouldn't start. It just clicked. Because our battery was starting to die. Luckily, we have AAA... they came out to give us a jump, and we had the battery (which was only about a year old) replaced the next day. Thank goodness it was only a faulty battery and not something like the starter. That's the last thing we need right now... zero car. I spent my Halloween evening locked in my house with the lights off watching a really really bad movie upstairs. Wolverine: Origins. It was really bad. And because I'm sick, I didn't want to spread my germ love around to the neighborhood kids.

On the bright side, I no longer sound like Harvey Fierstein... my fever is gone... and I get to see my sister in two weeks. I guess things are starting to look up.

Being sick sucks monkeyballs.

I really hate being sick. I hate leaving work because I'm sick, because I feel as if I'm bailing on some obligation. I know that's silly... and I should take care of myself, but still. That's how I feel.

I'm not one of those people who comes to work when they're at death's door. I did go to work today, but that's because there are things that I HAD to get done (things that no one else but me does) and once they were finished, I went home.

I woke up yesterday feeling kind of icky... throughout the day it was getting worse. And that area right behind your jaw hurt SO BADLY (apparently, that's where your ear tubes are? And mine are CON-GESTED!!!) that I couldn't think straight. I also had one hell of a sinus headache. Convinced that I had a sinus infection and needed an antibiotic, I went to the doctor. I see the one PA that I can't stand (because she keeps trying to make me get blood work done once a year... I was tested ONCE for arthritis, and it was negative, and now she's up my butt about it) and she condescending told me that I needed to take my allergy medicine and get some Mucinex-D. She's often condescending. I'm sorry for WASTING your time, but I'm sick. So... there.

By the time I got home from work yesterday, my entire body was aching and I kept switching between being FREEZING and sweating. So I guess I have a flu...

One of the lovely ladies at Ravelry suggested a bunch of things, one being a hot toddy. Have you ever had one of those? Because they are DELICIOUS. And made my throat instantly feel better. Where were these in college!????

For a hot toddy... you boil some water, and steep cloves in it. Whole cloves. I took them out after a few minutes, because who wants to drink whole cloves? Then you put in a lemon wedge. Then you put in a few tablespoons of honey. Then you put in a shot of rum/whiskey/scotch/bourbon. I used the rum that my mom got for me at St. Marteen's. It's called Guavaberry rum? It's awesome.

Unrelated to being sick, however, was the sight of my lawn this morning. I live in the city... but in my neighborhood there is this strip of land (a parkway, if you will) that a lot of people play baseball on, walk their dogs, etc. And the parkway runs the entire length of my neighborhood. This morning.... the parkway in front of my house was COVERED with black birds. It was a scene right out of The Birds. And I thought about going inside to get my camera to take a picture... but I was seriously afraid that the flash would make them attack me.. and then I WOULD be in a scene from The Birds. And that's the last thing I need today... being sick AND attacked by HUNDREDS of black birds? No thanks.

Who has their party panties on?!?

The party started at 4pm... as expected. And went until 3 am... as expected (or rather, 3am is when I got home.) Dinner beforehand was okay. I had a poor excuse for a cheesesteak, but delicious spinach and artichoke dip with old bay seasoned pita chips. Then we hung out at the bride's house before it was time to go to Philly.

Of course, we had obnoxious bachelorette paraphranalia: pink mini tiaras... a tiara with a veil on it... NAME TAGS... and that was it. We had some interesting names. Brinks, Party Panties (bride), Tinkerbell, Wendy Moira Angela Darling (me), Tits McGee (Maid of Honor), Kitten, Rizzo, and I forget the last one. I guess only Party Panties and Tits McGee were inappropriate. "Party panties" was a phrase that was used often throughout the day. At one of our other friend's wedding a few years ago, some older woman made a comment about our friend's lack of underwear... so she told the old broad that she was wearing her "party panties." I wasn't there, but it's pretty damn funny.

I have a question though. And it's a serious one. I know that Philadelphia as well as some other big cities with fancier clubs (that charge $8 for a jack and ginger? That's the price of a martini at home!) have dress codes. As in, don't wear sneakers.. don't wear a t-shirt. Is it normal to have 50% of the men in said bar in a suit? I mean SUIT. Suit pants, suit jacket, dress shirt, and a tie. Suit. Because at one point, a dozen Barney Stinson's walked in. Together. I'm pretty sure as they got ready, one of them said, "Suit up!" One told me friend that if they had a dance off, he would win. So I started tap dancing. He went away.

For serious. Time steps. In a bar. To club music. Clearly... I'm awesome.

I was really expecting the night to be a lot crazier than it was. And I didn't have a whole lot to drink. A bit at the bride's house, a shot, and one jack & ginger (SINCE IT WAS $8!!!) that was mostly jack.. but that was it. But I really thought that people would try to mess with us and get all in our faces... and we did have some of that. We had the Barney Stinsons and the hot dog. Yup. Someone dressed IN A HOT DOT COSTUME. It's still a week until Halloween, sir. Put the hotdog costume away.

Crazy bachelorette extravaganza

I have only been to two bachelorette parties. Ever. One was very low key... a few dive bars... a few shots here and there... mostly a couple of girls just hanging out.

The second one was a family bachelorette party. We were supposed to bring underwear for the bride... the first bar we went to was open bar for three hours... and then we went to more bars and had lots of shots. I didn't pay for a drink the entire night, other than the open bar, because the second bar we went to, my cousin worked at... so EVERYONE was buying us drinks. I've never been more hungover IN MY LIFE.

I'm really hoping that tonight's bachelorette party is somewhere in the middle. Because, really? I have to work tomorrow. I don't need to be so hungover that TOAST makes me sick. But I also don't want to be the only sober person there, either. AND!!! The one thing that annoys me a little is that we have a dress code tonight! Apparently, we're not allowed to wear sneakers..which I think is annoying. We're walking around the city... I need sneakers, damnit.

The party starts at 4. 4:00 in the afternoon. And apparently they want to stay out until last call... which is 2am. That's A LONG TIME with people I haven't seen in a while. I'm really hoping that all goes well... and that I don't have to babysit anyone.

Phightin' all the way!!!

Haven't I been really good about not spouting my love for the Phillies from the rooftops this baseball season?

I will not longer be good about that. At least... not right now. BECAUSE WE'RE GOING TO THE WORLD SERIES AGAIN! WAHOO!!!!

They didn't think we could beat the Dodgers... this year or last year... and we put LA in their place. They didn't think we could beat the Rays last year... and they don't think we can beat the Yankees this year. (Ok... YES the Angels COULD win three straight games. The last time that happened? 2004... Yankees vs. Red Sox. It's possible. It's even possible against those Damn Yankees. But it's unlikely)

The Yankees (and even the Angels) are beatable. They are beatable teams. They are not untouchable. YES the Yankees currently have the best record in Major League Baseball. You know what they don't have? Heart and perseverence. That's the core of the Philadelphia Phillies. That and Charlie forces them to go ONE GAME AT A TIME. Don't look ahead... don't think of what this win or this loss means... one game at a time. Tomorrow is another game... just get to that game. And it works... because look at where they are.

3peat winners in our division... two consecutive wins in the NLDS and NLCS... and we're the underdog yet again in the World Series. I like those chances. We were the "underdog" last year, too.

We're having a pep rally next Friday... day before the World Series returns to Philadelphia for the second year in a row... and I couldn't be more excited. Let's just hope that we have at least one.. if not two.. wins under our belt by then!

The Hazards of One Car.

I'm at home right now. I was supposed to be at work 30 minutes ago. Because we only have one car... and because I have a REALLY hard time getting up in the morning... Gene's mom drives him to school, and I get the car. We tried me driving him to school and then me just going to work, but I was there sometimes an hour early (ew), didn't leave earlier, and Gene kept being late because I can't get my ass out of bed.

Now. When I have his keys... I leave them off of my main keyring. Because I don't want to forget to give them back. Gene? ALWAYS puts them back on his keyring when he has the car, which is WAY less often than I. I think you see where I'm going with this.

This morning... can't find the keys anywhere. We always put them in this little basket on an end table in the living room. They aren't there. So I ask him... "Do you have the keys? I can't find them." "...Yes. Sorry."

So now I'm stuck at home... and of course I'm the ONLY ONE in my department today, so if there's some kind of funky crisis, no one is there to fix it! I've been trying to get in touch with Gene's mom for the past hour, but she isn't home and her cell is off. My last hope is my friend Sara... and I feel so terrible asking her to drive me to school (which isn't far from here, honestly. It's about a 5 minute drive.. but it's JUST too far to walk. About 2 miles. Not walking four miles and then driving to work. Sorry. If I'm walking for four miles, I'm taking a nap). She's done so much for us already with this one car business.

Not having a car = suck.

I am going to cry.

Not in a bad way. I hope I don't cry in a bad way.

Tonight, I'm going to see The Wizard of Oz at a local theatre.. it's a national tour... and I'm slightly obsessed with The Wizard of Oz. When I was in high school, I played Dorothy Gale. It was my first lead role... and I had so much fun doing it. We even took the show on a high school theatre competition, and I won Best Actress. I think I still have the little trophy somewhere at my mom's house. I was so proud of that show. It was THREE hours long. THREE. Because we put EVERYTHING back in. There are a bunch of songs originally written for the movie that were taken out (the main one being "The Jitterbug," which is a GREAT song. We did swing dancing, and I got to do swing lifts! It was awesome!)

But anyway. I'm very attached to this show... I have TONS of Wizard memorabilia... I know tons of random facts about the book, the 1939 filming (like: did you know that Shirley Temple was originally offered the role of Dorothy Gale? But they decided to make the main character 14 instead of 8, so they went with Judy Garland. And originally she had long blonde curly hair... but it made her look like a sexpot, so they changed it to pigtails) Lots of random trivia.

My predictions for this evening is that the show is going to be awesome, but that I will cry the entire time. I cry at theatre. And not even sad theatre. I cry at happy theatre.. because it's pretty. I cried at Annie Get Your Gun because Bernadette Peters was in it. When she walked onstage...I burst into tears. I cried at Beauty and the Beast during "Be Our Guest"...because it was really pretty. A GIANT CAKE came out of the stage... and they were doing a kickline on a revolving giant cake onstage... and then two giant champagne bottles came out of the side of the proscenium and had sparks coming out of them like champagne bubbles... EXACTLY LIKE THE CARTOON. It was really pretty. Spectacle makes me cry, ok?? Also I cried during Beauty and the Beast because Andrea McArdle was playing Belle... and she was the lead in the first professional play I ever saw, Les Miserables, in Philadelphia. She played Eponine, and she was amazing. I'd watch Andrea McArdle play a tree.

I cried throughout The Light in the Piazza because the music was so gorgeous. I cried when I saw Rent because I was just so excited to be seeing it. I did not cry during Phantom of the Opera. Because I saw the worst Christine in the history of Christine's. I will never forget her name, and I refuse to watch anything that she's in. I cried during Wicked because I love the show and the book, and I thought that it was an absolutely amazing concept, and I loved that it didn't change the core story of The Wizard of Oz at all. I cried during 9 to 5 (WHICH WAS SUCH A GOOD SHOW!! AND I HATE THAT IT WAS TAKEN OFF BROADWAY!!! THAT WAS SUCH A BAD DECISION!!! THOSE WOMEN AND MARC KUDISCH ARE AMAZING!!!) because the women are amazing, and being that close to Allison Janney (because I was totally in the front row) was giving me breathing problems. I cried during Spamalot and Avenue Q because I was laughing so damn hard.

I even cry when I hear certain songs from shows. I heard "As Long As Your Mine" from Wicked in the car this morning while listening to the lovely Christine Pedi on Sirius 77, Broadway's Best, and tried to singing, but couldn't because I got choked up. I cannot sing certain songs because I get too emotionally invested in them. I'm such a big emotional dork. I tried to sing "I'm Still Hurting" from The Last Five Years when I was in college... but couldn't make it through the song. I finished it. And there wasn't a dry eye in the damn house... because I SOBBED through the second half of the song.

This is part of the reason I stopped acting. I have NO problem getting emotionally invested. I have a problem becoming TOO emotionally invested...

Oh, Childhood...

My friend Sara and I were supposed to see The Invention of Lying this weekend, but after spending JUST a little more time in JoAnn's Fabrics than we intended (stupid busy cutting table on Saturdays...) and being a bit (ok, really) tired, we decided that we'd rather watch a movie at my house instead. But not just any random movie. The Dark Crystal.

Now. My mother swears up and down that I loved this movie as a child... and I watched it all the time. I don't remember this movie at all. But I do think that Jen the Gelfling looks suspiciously like the muppet version of Link from the Zelda games. And Kira the Gelfling is a little Zelda-y to me. But that's besides the point. I have a very hard time believing that I LURVED this movie as a child, because, well THIS IS SO NOT A CHILDREN'S MOVIE! IT'S TERRIFYING!!!

Whenever I watched the Sesame Street Christmas Special... you know the one I'm talking about. Everyone goes ice skating... and they are all holding hands and spinning in a giant circle.. and Oscar the Grouch is on the end... and someone (I believe it was Big Bird... that giant yellow bastard) lets go of Oscars hand and he goes FLYING across the ice and falls down a flight of stairs? I would SCREAM because I was afraid that Oscar was dead. Don't you think that I'd be effing TERRIFIED of those creepy Skeksis??? They are like the super evil cousins of the Fire Gang from Labyrinth.

There are some movies that I distinctly remember as a child, though. I used to watch The Incredibly Mr. Limpet every Sunday. Though... I don't remember it being about World War II AT ALL!! That went WAY over my 4 year old head. We also had this tape that had the Smurf Christmas special, all of the Charlie Brown holiday specials, and this weird really old Garfield Halloween special on it? Until my mother unceremoniously taped over it. I still haven't completely forgiven her for that. My brother and sister and I watched that every single Christmas morning. That and The Christmas Toy... if you watch The Christmas Toy and then watch A Toy Story... they're the SAME EXACT MOVIE except The Christmas Toy takes place on Christmas Eve, and that's it. But they're the SAME EXACT MOVIE.

The other tape that was destroyed by my mother was Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass... four hours of Lewis Carroll craziness starring Natalie Gregory as Alice. And it had EVERY person who was ever famous in the 80s ever. It was a made for tv movie musical... and it was pure genius. I compare every other version of Alice in Wonderland to this version, and none of them even come close. It's also the most accurate to Lewis Carroll's book. This movie has Carol Channing, Ringo Starr, Imogene Coca, Cid Ceasar, Anthony Newley, Sammy Davis Jr, Red Buttons, Ann Gillian, Sally Struthers, Pat Morita, Scott Baio... seriously... every person who was famous in the 80s. And the Jabberwocky. If you think I was terrified of Oscar... that damn Jabberwocky gave me some serious nightmares.

Seriously.... I should be a paid wedding crisis averter consultant. Or something.

The wedding was not without conflict. But! I did not have to diffuse any fights... nor did I have to kick any of my fellow bridesmaids in the teeth. So. I say success.

The conflicts happened prior to the wedding. I get a phonecall from the bride two days before the wedding... "I need you to stay with me tomorrow night." Okay. I was supposed to stay with our other cousin, but the bride wanted us to stay with her, so we did. With the baby. Hence, why she wanted us to stay. So I got to entertain a one month old all evening.



The bride and I stayed up and tried to get that little bugger to fall asleep. He finally did around 12:45. But then he stayed asleep until almost 6:00! It was glorious. Five whole hours of sleep.

The day before the wedding, my cousin who was a bridesmaid with me picked me up from work.. and she was NOT a happy person. Because her bridesmaids dress RIPPED!!! THAT MORNING!!! She was seriously freaking out. A friend of hers had added this lace part to a strapless bodice because she didn't want it to be strapless, but didn't like the other separate tops that David's Bridal had. And her friend did a good job, and if she didn't have basically 5 days to design and sew it, it probably would have been fine... but stupid David's Bridal took SIX MONTHS to send it to my cousin, and she got it about a week before the wedding. So she wasn't happy with the neckline. In addition to it being ripped. So what do I do when we get back from having our hair done at the salon? I bust out my aunt's sewing machine... and fix that bitch. The problem was that lace has zero give... and the top fit my cousin beautifully, but it just had no stretch, so that's why it ripped. But I saved the day.



And you couldn't really tell that I fixed it the day of the wedding.

After that, everything was pretty much smooth sailing. None of the groomsmen were in the right place during the ceremony (which is not really much of a surprise) and the priest completely skipped an entire reading... but all in all, it was a very nice day. My dress was awesome.



Everyone asked me where the one I made was...

And it starts.

I decided to wear the dress that I was wearing to the rehearsal tonight to work. Usually, I wear jeans and a t-shirt or something similar to work. And sneakers. Not royal blue, classic cut, awesome Ann Taylor dress. And black stockings. And patent black shoes. And a French manicure. Generally, this is not work attire for me.

So far, these are the comments I've received:

You got all dressed up for flu shots today? (oh yeah, we're getting flu shots today. This is the one I've received most often)

What, are you switching to sales now? Going on sales calls?

You didn't have to get all fancy just for me!

And my personal favorite...

Why the hell are you wearing a dress?

Mind you... I have ZERO makeup on. I do however have all of my makeup with me (and that's not even really an exaggeration. I have I think 80% of my makeup in this giant tote bag... and the tote bag is at least 10 lbs. I do have SOME hair products in there, but not a lot).

And already this morning? My friend drove me to work... I got to work, and looked in my makeup tote bag, and lo and behold my makeup brushes are SO NOT IN THERE... they are, in fact, at home. So I ran outside in my heels and ran after my friend's car to see if they fell out of my makeup tote, and they didn't. So we had to drive all the way back to my house so that I could get my makeup brushes. Otherwise, I'm in big all trouble. I ended up being almost an hour late to work because of it, but I would have been in WAY bigger trouble tomorrow if I had zero makeup brushes. So thank GOODNESS I looked in that bag before tomorrow morning. That would have been really bad. Because I would have been more than an hour away from home, not 20 minutes.

In the closet at work is my bridesmaids dress, my makeup tote, and my extra clothes for tonight and clothes to wear to the salon tomorrow morning. Even though I was a Junior Bridesmaid for my aunt and uncle like 14 years ago, this is my first big time bridesmaid ordeal. And I'm already prepping to have to troubleshoot something. I'm really good at troubleshooting. I'm good at diffusing possible explosive situations quietly without other guests knowing... I'm good at fixing people's dresses when they break (though I don't have my usual wedding kit with me. Needle & thread, clear nailpolish, hairspray, bobby pins, and safety pins. I was too worried about makeup and stuff). And I'm also good at calming down brides. I had to do that for my one and only freelance makeup job. For a complete stranger. Bride was FREAKING out and I managed to calm her down, hide her tattoo from her family, AND keep her mom on track. I seriously almost felt like a bridesmaid that day with all my troubleshooting.

Tomorrow I have to deal with infant duty (the bride has a one month old. He's the cutest freaking baby ever and has the most hair I've ever seen on a baby. It looks like a toupe), make sure the groom's sister doesn't make the bride cry, and make sure that everyone's makeup looks good. Especially since our photographer is our cousin's boyfriend... and I don't think he's done a wedding before... and I want to make sure that our makeup will show up in the pictures. Hopefully.. once things get started, I'll be able to drink my cosmos and have a good time.

I'm just resting my eyes, I swear...

I think my not stopping has finally took it's toll.

I'm sitting at my desk desperately trying not to fall asleep. I have not had a day off of work since Labor Day. That was my last day off. Labor Day. And Saturday, aka the craziest day of my life thus far, was just as crazy as expected.

I did have a lot of fun, and I did learn a lot of tricks from the national artist that I worked with from Bare Escentuals, but I wish I didn't have to work 11.5 hours. Standing for 11.5 hours? Not good for my back, FYI. Thank goodness for ibuprofen.

I feel like I'm asleep right now. In fact, I actually put my head down for a few seconds just because it was so hard keeping it up. And even if I wanted to go home early today, I can't. Because the ONE car that we have is in the shop today... balls to that. Something is wrong with the lights. I'm hoping it's something simple and not some wacky eletrical problem. But, still. I did get a decent night's sleep after Crazy Saturday. I still think there's a lot I could catch up on, though. And at least I don't have to finish the bridesmaids dress this week. I'm pretty sure I'd have some kind of mental breakdown and disappear for 3 days if that happened. I did that once in college. I had a minor mental breakdown and disappeared for a day.

Right now, I'm looking forward to my mani-pedi for the wedding... and getting my hair did. Though, because of the Keratin treatment, I can only use specific styling products in my hair. My stylist at this salon is going to hate me. Because I'm totes bringing my own products with me and having her use those. I can't risk this salon not having the stuff I need.

Autumn, how I love thee

My favorite season is here. I know it was here at the end of September, but I never *feel* like fall until October. I get to pull out boots... and dark denim... and lovely sweaters... and scarves.

My favorite part about fall? The smell. I love the smell of autumn. And October has the best smell. At least in my part of the east coast. There's nothing like the smell of pumpkin, burning leaves, bread, and apples. That's what October smells like to me. My other favorite smell? The air right before it's about to snow. It mimics October just a little bit. And I love it.

Of course my allergies hate me. I even took my allergy medicine when I was supposed to (before bed) and STILL woke up congested and sneezy. Oh well. I'll take a bit of the sniffles in exchange for my favorite month and my favorite time of year.

Today is my favorite day in a long while. Generally, I hate Fridays, because on Fridays I have a crap ton of stuff to do at work. But there's not a lot that can bring me down today. I have my chunky amber ring on... my dark AT jeans... a super cute sweater... and a teal, purple, and orange necklace that ties everything together. I'm meeting my best friend in Philadelphia tonight, and we're having dinner at one of my favorite restaurants, then we're going to a yarn store around the corner to meet Jared Flood! and then we're going to see Billy Crystal do a one man show. It could not get better. It really couldn't!

I haven't decided if I'm getting real dinner, or if I'm getting banana french toast. It's my favorite dish that this restaurant has, and it's so damn good.

For shame...

I have a confession. I'm not finishing the dress for my cousin's wedding. I copped out. I bought a dress.

But Ann Taylor is having the "best sale ever" and it REALLY GOOD!! 40% off of everything marked down? UM, YES.

For my dress, I still need to handsew the lining into the bodice, put in the zipper, and hem. And make a belt. And wash/press. And snip all of my threads. And take out my stay stitching in the skirt because you can see it. That's a good 6-8 hours of sewing still ahead of me. And I'm working at ULTA tonight... and Saturday ALL day, and Sunday ALL day. And I need Gene's mom's help on the zipper because I hate them and usually pay someone to do it for me... and she's away tomorrow until Sunday. AND the neckline is funny and we need to fix it. Which leaves THE WEEK LEADING UP TO THE WEDDING to work on it.

So, no.

This is the dress that Ann Taylor blessed me with:



HOW PRETTY IS THAT? So pretty. So, if I have two little black dresses... then I have two little black dresses. Late last night, I got the email from Ann Taylor that they're having the "best sale ever" so I looked... JUST TO SEE what black dresses they had. And this one was $59. Not bad at all. So I was considering it. I tried calling my cousin, but she didn't answer. I added it to my cart. And my cart said $35.88.

UM, WHAT? THIRTY FIVE DOLLARS? HELL YEAH!

So I called Gene's mom to ask her advice and she said "oh you need to buy that dress." So I did. I had to put 3 day shipping on it so it would get here in time, but with expedited shipping... it was still less than the price I thought I was going to pay for it.

This dress better look good...

Please, stop trying to kill me.

In the past 3 days, 6 separate drivers have tried to kill me. I don't understand why some people are so unbelievably reckless and utterly stupid when it comes to driving, and frankly it just makes me plain angry.

Saturday, someone changed lines a little too close for comfort. Had I not been wary of this stupid driver, he might have clipped my Gene's car.

Sunday (when it was raining) two cars within 2 seconds of one another pulled in front of my car on a major highway while I was IN THE EXIT RAMP. As in, not the exit lane.. as in the exit has been happening and you need to travel a good 10 feet to get in front of me. Two. Cars. Black, tinted windows. Shady business.

Then five minutes later when I'm on a major road (not a highway, but still, a pretty major road with a lot of traffic and tons of lights) a car pulls out in front of my car. He (because I saw the jackass later) was in a shopping center and pulled into traffic when I'm going 50 mph about 30 feet (maybe) in front of my car. Need I remind you THAT IT IS RAINING. NOT SPRINKLING, RAINING. There is no traffic light. It is clearly my right of way. I proceed to lean on my horn. He's completely unaware that he did anything wrong. Asshole. When I passed him later (he was stopped at a light, I was exiting into the mall since I was on my way to work) I had half a mind to flip him off.. because I am that guy. But I didn't.

This morning, I had someone pull out in front of me (again) and then later, I'm stopped at a light. The light turns green. I happen to look in my rearview mirror and there's a van going at least 50 mph towards my car (the speed limit is 35) and is not slowing down at all. They are maybe 40 feet away. I had to gun it through the light or else they were going to plow into the back of the car I'm driving today.

Seriously. What is with other drivers? I know that I'm a really good driver. I might yell at other cars and flip them off, but I never let that affect how I drive. I'm very conscience about what's going on around me, and I guess that's why I haven't really had a major accident until last month. And there was nothing I could have done to stop that one. I started breaking before he even turned in front of my car... if I hadn't had good intuition, I would probably be dead. Or at least have a broken face and broken ribs, if not more. But I still have trust issues on the road. I'm the last person these people want to pull in front of! When the third car pulled in front of me on Sunday, I lost my shit for a little while... because I thought "what the hell are we going to do if I'm in another accident?" We can't afford to have no car. It's bad enough having only one car.

Open Letters (yeah yeah..)

After a number of Open Letters from Fidgeting Gidget I decided it was time to have some open letters of my own.

Dear Grey's Anatomy,

Please don't suck tonight. I've been with you since the first day. When I first saw the promo and saw that Katherine Heigl (I know she's kind of a crazy person, but I LOVED Roswell) and Sandra Oh (I want to be her) in the same show, I died a little. And I've been a fiercely loyal fan ever since. But you really need to redeem yourself after season 3.

A big fan,
The Recovering Actor


Dear Hair,

You've been screwed up since last year when a curly hair "expert" decided it would be a good idea to RAZOR CUT MY CURLY HAIR. It wasn't a good idea. You still haven't been the same. But you're getting cut today, and I'd appreciate it if you would just cooperate for Linda.

Thanks,
The Recovering Actor


Dear Brad Lidge,

Knock it the hell off. Blow one more game... and you're dead to me. If we lose it this year, the Phillies will have you to thank for it.

As always,
The Recovering Actor.


Dear Bridesmaids Dress,

You're almost done. And so far so good. I would really appreciate it if you would continue to be a team player so that I don't have a panic attach 3 weeks before the wedding.

Sincerely,
The Recovering Actor


Dear October 3,

I'm really worried that you're going to be the worst day ever and that I'm going to leave work in a sobbing hysterical mess. Please don't be a sucky day. I'm not asking for you to be the best day ever, just don't make me cry.

Sincerely,
Begging and Pleading Recovering Actor

This Diva Needs Her Stage!

There's another audition happening tonight that I'm not participating in, and it's making me a little sad. A local (non-paying) theatre around here got the rights for Rent. And I can sing the shit out of that show. I'd kiss girls. I'm okay with that. It's art.

But if I auditioned, I'd have to stop working at ULTA for a while.. and I need my ULTA job. I'd be able to work Sundays, but I'd have to go from an 8 hour ULTA day to rehearsal until 11. And I know Gene would be ultra cranky if I did rehearsal 4 days a week. Especially if it was for Rent... he hates that show.

I ran into my friend's husband at Einstein Bagels this morning, and he's currently directing The Producers at the same theatre. He's been trying to get me to audition all year... and so has his wife. And I want to! I really do! But I have a few reservations.

A of all... I haven't acted in a long time. Yes, I did the fringe show last year, but I wasn't onstage all that much, and it wasn't musical theatre.

B of all... because of the car accident, I don't know how I would be with dancing. It might hurt a whole hell of a lot.

C of all... leaving ULTA. I need ULTA to, oh, pay my bills? And I don't know how it would be with taking all that time off. We'd have to see. Granted, I don't have a car payment anymore since my car was smashed to little bits, but still. Christmas is coming up, and I need all the extra money I can get.

Can I Be Done Now?

It's been a little over a month since my car accident.. and I'm starting to get annoyed. I have no car. My car that was totalled is still not paid off even after the insurance. I have nothing to put down on a new car. And I'm still having back pain. In fact, today it's really bad.

And the whole thing wasn't my damn fault in the first place.

I am grateful. I know that things could have been worse. I could have very easily broken bones (which I have never done) or even been killed. So I was lucky there. And so was the other guy. But it's still annoying. It's annoying that I have to be at work 30 minutes early every day because I have to take Gene to work. It's annoying that we have to make all of our plans based on whether both of us can go, since we only have one car. It's annoying that on days when I don't drive Gene to work, and a friend takes me in... that I don't have a car to get lunch, and therefore don't eat lunch on those days.

I have a car today, which is good I suppose. I'm just looking forward to the day where we each have a car again, and we're done with the bullshit. And because I've been here 30 minutes early, I can run errands during my lunch hour and take a bit longer. Like on Tuesday, I drove to a hospital that's 20 minutes away to see my cousin and her newborn baby boy (who has the. most. hair. ever.) just hours after he was born. I wouldn't have been able to do that on a regular work schedule. My cousin and I are also very close. I know there are some who aren't close with their extended family... but this cousin and I are super duper close. She's the one who's getting married next month (oh yeah... 3 weeks after giving birth, this chick is getting freaking married. Because she's insane) and I'm making my bridesmaids dress for. (it still isn't done by the way... the BODICE is finished. Lining and all! But that's it. It looks good so far! I think...

Procrastination Station

I have four weeks until my cousin's wedding. You know. The one I decided it would be a great idea to make the dress for because it would be less expensive? Wanna know how far I am?

I have three pieces sewn together. That's not even the full bodice. Well, it's the full bodice in FABRIC. I just need to add lining. In fact, I didn't buy any lining at first because I bought the fabric in a non-pay week and was only getting the bare minimum. And of course they want me to attach the lining NOW for the bodice. BAH. So now during lunch today (because I don't have time after work... especially because of where the fabric store is--it would take me twice as long to drive there after work than it would at 11am) I need to drive 45 minutes to get this fabric and drive back. That's going to be my entire lunch. but I have been getting to work a half hour earlier and not leaving early, so it comes out in the wash I think.

I'm just so terrified that I won't get this thing done. I was planning on using my Saturdays (I have three left) to work on the dress. This Saturday? I'm working at ULTA for 8 hours in the middle of the day. Next Saturday? I'm probably working again. And the following Saturday? That's crazy Bare Escentuals day. So I don't know what I'm going to do. And of course on Sundays... I'm working at ULTA also. (which means I have four weeks of no day off at all. Not fun.)

I smell a couple of late nights. Good thing I still have last week's 90210 and Melrose Place to watch (yes. yes I do watch them. I love 90210, ok? And I loved Melrose Place so I'm giving the new one 3 episodes)

At least my skills are being recognized. Someone at work commented on a sweater I was wearing (that I made) and now she wants to hire me to make one for her. AH! I've never done that. And I haven't decided if I'm going to or not. A lot of times when people hear my price, they back out. Non-knitters I find don't understand the time that's put in. They expect to pay $20 for a handknit sweater, when in actuality it's a lot closer to $100. It's cost of yarn + cost of time... and it takes a while to make a sweater.

Rain.. go away. No seriously, go away.

First... I got off of ULTA for today so I can go to the game (yay!)

That being said. The reason for the game today is because I was already rained out of a Phillies-Nationals game at Nationals Park back in June. This game is the make up from the rainout in June. And what does the forecast say? 100% chance of rain for Washington DC Thursday evening. 100% chance of rain.

PLEASE. Just please. I've never been to a ball park outside of Philadelphia. I really want to see my silly Phillies at another ball park. I really want to go to Nationals Park. Every time (ok, one other time, but it was the only time) I come to DC to see a ball game...it rains. I know the forecast sucks. But change it. Please.

I saw a rainbow on my way to work this morning. That's supposed to be good luck!! And if I called off of ULTA and took a half day from work for no reason, I'm not going to be a very happy girl whatsoever. And I love my friends that we're going to see, but I don't want to drive three hours to have dinner with them in Baltimore. Again. We've already decided that if it looks like it's going to be an inevitable rainout... we are staying put. I don't want to stay put. I want to go to DC goddamnit and see a damn baseball game. So, Rain, stay up in the clouds. If I see you... I might hurt you.

Four places at once

That's how I've been feeling lately. My schedule/social life has been so busy lately that I don't know whether I'm coming or going. Sundays I work at ULTA. Mondays I go to a coffee shop bistro place and knit with a group of wonderful ladies. Tuesdays I play Quizzo (it's so much fun!). Wednesdays I work at ULTA. Thursdays I don't do anything. Fridays I go out with Sara. Saturdays I reserve for poker.

This Thursday, we have tickets to see the Phillies play in DC. We tried to go at the beginning of the season, and Gene and I drove about 3 hours to DC... pulled into the Metro Station to take the train to downtown DC... AND THE GAME WAS CANCELLED. It had been raining all day, and it was miserable, but we didn't want to not drive and then have the game play. We were going with friends who live in the Baltimore area, so we drove to their house and had chicken for dinner and ended up having a lovely evening (we watched the Flyers lose on TV instead)

At ULTA, my availability is Wednesdays or Thursdays... and generally they schedule me on Wednesdays they ALWAYS schedule me on Wednesdays. Except this week. Since I've never been scheduled on a Thursday before, I didn't think to request off. And they scheduled me to work. Which I didn't realize until last night. So today I need to go plead to have my schedule changed to Wednesday. BAH! I don't know what we're going to do if I can't get off... we've had these tickets since MAY!

And then on FRIDAY I'm going to see my wonderful friend Natalie's play at the Philadelphia Fringe Festival. It's going to be awesome. But that's something every day this week. And then Saturday I work at ULTA again! (I usually don't work on Saturdays, but we're having a big "beauty" event, so I'm going to have to work on Saturdays until it's all over)

In the middle of all of this, I still have to start make my bridesmaids dress for my cousin's wedding WHICH IS NEXT MONTH!

All of this is also leading up to the BIG ULTA DAY on October 3... when the creator of Bare Escentuals is gracing us with her presence. Also on that day? My friend's film debuts in our city's fringe festival (i'm his publicist. see? i'm publicising it now), my best friend wants me to do this wine tour of the Brandywine Valley, and my college is having a 40th anniversary of our Theatre. And someone else just asked me to do something else on that day... but I can't remember what it was. But still! That's a lot of stuff on one day! I need to clone myself... or get my hands on Hermione's Time Turner from Harry Potter.

My baby sister is all growed up...

My little sister is in college. My sister who is still about 11 in my head, because that's how old she was when I left for college, is living in a dorm room with college friends and having college experiences.

When did that happen?

And also... when did the TV dorms (you know that when Rory Gilmore went to college, your first thought was: dorm rooms SO do not look like that) become actuality? At my college, we had what we called suitemates. As in, I had my roommate... and across the bathroom was my suitemate. There was only one dorm that had a community bathroom... all of the other bathrooms in every dorm were shared between two rooms. My sister oh so gracefully informed me that what I lived in was NOT a suite. Her room, however, is. She has a roommate.. and two suitemates. You go into one room, and you're in a common area which also has the bathroom. Off of the common room are the two bedrooms. Not dissimilar to the dorms in Saved By The Bell: The College Years. In fact, that's exactly what it looks like in my head. It probably doesn't look quite like that, but the set up is the same.

Baby sis is a theatre major (like me... despite spending her entire adolescent life trying NOT to be like me) and she has her very first call back!! Tonight. She calls me two days ago at like 11 at night and says "I have an audition tomorrow morning, and I need a monologue and a song." Well.. you should probably do one you already know.. "I know, but I don't know where they are, so you need to email them to me." I really do love my sister, but this child is so disorganized. It cracks me up.

I made the decision that I'm going to give her all of my plays and books about acting. Because really? I'm not going to use them anymore. I don't have any time in my life for theatre, unfortunately, and when I do have the time for theatre... all of the monologues that I have in my "back pocket" at the moment with the age range 15-19 will be too young. Someone might as well get good use out of my stuff.

But for my sister's good luck... I asked all of the theatre "gods" I know... Bacchus, Dionysus, the Bard, Thespis, Carol Channing... to smile upon her and have her first callback go well. It's for a dead girl. Who says obscene things, and is kind of a slut. She's typecast a lot. :)

Go Bananas! (b-a-n-a-n-a-s)

When I was in high school... I ate fruit just about every single day. I know that I've mentioned my fruit allergy before, but I recently discovered what it ACTUALLY is.

Oral Allergy Syndrome

It explains EVERYTHING. Why I can have cooked fruit... why I can have juice... why it's only stuff that is fresh...

After reading into OAS a little more, I discovered that it's a severe reaction to the POLLEN, and since I'm super allergic to every tree ever... it makes sense that I have a reaction to apples, plums, and pluots (crossbreed of plums and apricots. It's the fruit I miss the most, and they are DELICIOUS) and why when I got my allergies tested... I didn't have any reaction to any of the fruit.

But I did notice that there are different groups of OAS. People who are sensitive to apples for instance, are also sensitive to pears, peaches, plums, etc. But bananas are in a separate group. And I discovered that I can eat bananas. I'm really super excited about that... because I love peanut butter and banana sandwiches. It's my guilty pleasure. I made grilled peanut butter and banana sandwiches in honor of Elvis's death one year. My friend from high school's dad was OBSESSED with Elvis (and yes, he did own Elvisopoly) and so we made fried (grilled...) peanut butter and banana sandwiches. 12 of them. And my friend and I ate them all since no one was willing to try it. It's delicious, in case you're wondering.

I had a banana for breakfast this morning. It was very exciting. So I may be back to trying fruits with a bottle on Benadryl next to me again. That's what I did when this developed with I was 18... so maybe there are other fruits that I will be able to eat! (I'm hoping that citrus, melons, and grapes are okay. I'm trying things that don't really grow on trees, or that have a peel like bananas and citrus)

When I grow up...

When I was little, I wanted to be the voice of a Disney Princess (despite telling my next door neighbor that I wanted to be a pole dancer, but that was the year before). That hasn't changed all that much... I would still love to make a living doing voice work, but it's a very hard business. One that's very hard to break into.

The other profession that I really love is makeup. That's one of the reasons that I started working at ULTA. I love wearing makeup... I love playing with makeup... I love doing other people's makeup. And I get to do that at ULTA. My favorite things to do is pick out prom makeup and pick out wedding makeup. It's like I'm kind of part of the event because I'm helping that person feel special (sure it's in an entirely superficial way, but whatevs. It makes me happy, ok?)

Yesterday... I got to pick out this girl's wedding makeup. The trick about wedding makeup is that you want the bride to look like herself, but the very best version of herself. The hardest part is eye makeup, because you want to define and make the eye pop without making it too dark, and trust me that's difficult. But I managed to find this perfect balance for this girl, and she looked awesome.

And then she asked me if I would come and do it for her on Saturday. The day of her wedding.

SQUEE!

I've never done anyone's makeup for their ACTUAL wedding. I've done bridesmaids who come into ULTA and get makeovers (which technically we're not allowed to do... because it is a service, and they should go to our salon and get an esthetician to do it for a charge, but at the time we didn't have an esthetician on staff...) but never the bride. I'm a bit super nervous. A bit super excited. And totally honored, because this girl liked my style so much that she's willing to charge me to do it for this huge important day.

When I was halfway through school... I was THIS CLOSE to going to beauty school and getting my cosmetology license. But I had already put myself through almost 3 years of private college, and I didn't want to waste that time. I had this secondary plan where when I had loans paid off (which will be when I'm 50 at this rate...) I would get my cosmetology license. And I actually have looked into it. But I need to be at a better place financially. I'm really good at makeup. And I'm pretty good at hair. I think it's in the blood. My mom was a hair stylist for a long time, and I think that's why I always had an interest for it.

I have so many relationships with makeup artists because of ULTA, and honestly I don't know how many of them are license cosmetologists or estheticians. But I would love to join that caliber of talent.

Appropriate Phone Etiquette

Occasionally, I fill in for the receptionist at work. I answer the phones at lunchtime among other things. And a whole lot of crazies call radio. This afternoon, however, I definitely met my match.

I answered the phone with my usual bright company name... and hear breathing. I repeat the name a little less bright with a HELLO? in front, clearly agitated. Then I hear mumbled whispering. So the third time I say, "You're going to have to speak up. I cannot hear you since you're WHISPERING." That's when I understand what he's saying. He's still whispering. But it's this older man... and he's really fucking creepy. And he's asking me what I'm wearing.

Seriously, creepy old man? That's what you got? Nothing more original than that? What are you wearing? I just hung up. But every time I answered the phone after that, I expected to hear him again.

But that got me thinking. I am often annoyed at people who call in... because half of the time they don't know what radio station they're calling, or they're trying to call the studio and call the business line instead. Then there are the people who tell me their entire life story, but refuse to leave someone a voicemail when they're been on the phone for 25 minutes.

Why do people have to be so difficult? And when I say that someone is at lunch, or that they're in a meeting, or that they're on a phone call... I'm not lying. And there's no reason for you to get all snippy with me. I'm just the messenger, buddy.

I'm sorry that I'm cranky... but it's the days that I have to work the front desk that really make my blood boil. Because on those days, I don't get to eat lunch. Because I'm on the front desk at 12:30, and the receptionist doesn't get back until after 2:00. And at that point, I've gone past hungry into "no longer hungry, but should eat because I'm supposed to." Today I opted for "no longer hungry, but should eat because I'm supposed to." The one day I tried to be proactive and go out at 11 to get lunch early? Yeah..that's when I got in the car accident, so I'm not doing that anytime soon. I could pack my lunch, but that means that my "wake up 20 minutes before I'm supposed to leave" morning routine will be compromised, and we can't have that.

Oh, driver? Take me to work please.

I've been struggling as to whether or not I was going to blog about this. But after Ali's post on The Way I See It I decided to share a little.

Short version? I was in a car accident... my car is definitely not fine... but I'm mostly fine.

The long (edited) version? I was on my way to get lunch... driving down a road that I'm on every single day... doing the same motions that I do every single day... when a driver going the opposite way down that same road made a left-hand turn in front of my car. My front bumper is gone. My windshield is smashed to little bits. My hood is all scrunchy. I am mostly okay though. I just have some back pain. Yes I'm seeing my doctor. I'm doing everything right.

But unlike Ali, the officer that I had to deal with was a lovely human being. He was great about explaining everything to me about what I needed to do and everything. I feel like the day of the accident I did nothing but make phone calls to insurance people and family members and whatnot. My dad did send me flowers though, which was very nice.

My car is totalled. But I'm going to be driving Ruth soon. Ruth is my little sister's car. She named it Ruth. But now my sister has a new car, Luna, and Ruth hasn't been sold yet. (I don't name cars... but she does. Since the car already has a name, I'll probably keep the name. Gene and I have already started referring to it as Ruth.) So as soon as the insurance and everything has been switched to me, I'll have wheels again. And I won't be chauferred around town anymore.

It's so inconvenient to have to rely on other people for a ride somewhere!!! At least the first week after the accident Gene was home... but now he's not. So now I need to bribe people to drive me places. This morning I bribed my friend with bagels and coffee. I think that will only go so far. I could buy her some Strongbow (it's a hard cider from England... and it's DELICIOUS) as a thank you.

At the moment I'm trying to look on the bright side. I'm trying not to get sad that my very first car (okay, it was really my sixth car. But it was the first car that I bought all by myself. So I feel like it really was my first car) is dead now. And I'm trying not get freaked out everytime I see people brake in front of me and i feel like the person driving (mainly Gene) doesn't brake early enough for my liking. I'm trying not to hyperventilate everytime I have to drive down the road where my accident was. I could avoid it, but that would be very inconvenient. And I'm really trying not to think about what a pain in the ass it is that I was hit. But I was very lucky. I'm trying to concentrate on that.

The Family Smile

This isn't the first, and it probably won't be the last, time that I've mentioned my dislike for some of my extended family. I have family members who can't remember Gene's name (and we've been together for six years...) and treat him as if they've never met him before. Probably because he doesn't make a lot of money. My godfather forgets about me every Christmas... but remembers all of my other cousins and spouses of cousins. I have one cousin that i used to be really close with. We barely speak now.

I don't know what I did to piss my family off so much. I mean, I do realize now that they aren't all sunshine and rainbows... and that they are horribly flawed. They aren't as close as they all pretend to be... and they aren't very nice people (for the most part. there are some members of my extended family that I love dearly).

Most of this dislike came bubbling out at a recent wedding... where my one cousin refused to give me a hug, refused to say hello to me or to Gene, and flat out ignored me the entire time. Her sister-in-law was absolutely lovely... and I adore her. At first I let it get to me... and I even started to tear up... because I want nothing more than to have that little bubble back where I think my family is wonderful and everyone is happy. And I want them to like me. I really don't like it when people don't like me, and I know I shouldn't care what people think, but that's how I work, ok? I don't know what I did to these people that they despise me.

We left the wedding early (and the fact that Gene was even there is a huge deal. He refuses to go to family functions because he doesn't like pretending to people) and apparently that's when all hell broke loose. I got a phone call earlier today from my father asking me if everything was all right with my sister. He said that she basically closed herself off after we left... and was very quiet, and he was worried about her. Because my gem of a perfect cousin (the one who wouldn't say hello to me?) said something to my sister... don't know what, my dad wouldn't tell me, and then proceeded to call my father an asshole. Which he said he provoked, but I don't know. I think what happened was she probably said something snide either about me or my sister... my dad defended us... and she called him an asshole.

Are other peoples families like this? Perfect on the outside but volatile when pushed? I would love nothing more than to rip these people a new one.. but they're my family and I feel like I'm supposed to just play nice... smile... and take it. I've already let them know why Gene doesn't come around. They didn't like my answer. Maybe that's why they all hate me.

Three Easy Ways to Get a Girl

I don't know what's in the water lately... but over the past three or four days, I've been publicly hit on three times. And not by people I'd want to hit on me either.

First, I was up at my old college again... at the place where they've been hiding the liquor store (but I was there to get coffee, not booze.) with a friend of mine. This (visibly drunk) "gentleman" walked up to us, bent over sideways so that he could "check us out" with his entire body (not just his head... his entire torso) and said, "Hey Ladies!" followed by a sexual grunt.

That's exactly how to get me to make out with strangers in public, in case you were wondering.

Then yesterday, I was hit on TWICE while driving my car. The first time, I was at a stoplight in front of this sketchy looking corner store, and this guy started screaming, "Hey, miss! Miss! Smile for me. Just one smile. C'mon, smile for me. Hey miss--smile for me." I didn't even turn my head... because I was desperately trying not to burst out laughing.

Then... at another stoplight a few blocks later, some guy on a bike (oh yeah...) did some cat call... and said something. It was so inappropriate that I've blocked it from memory. But at that point, I couldn't stop myself from laughing. It was just too hilarious.

Do guys seriously think that works? My favorite has to be the "Hey, ladies" lush. Because I think he honestly thought that one or both of us was going to go with him. The only men who can get away with yelling inappropriate things at me? Toddlers.

Didn't I have your permission? I'm sorry.

So my hair is amazingly straight. My hair has never been this straight in my entire life. Ever. And so far I've been REALLY good about not putting it behind my ears. I haven't done it by accident ONCE. All of the women that I've seen are saying "wow your hair is so great, I can't belive it, did they cut it, too?" (No. It hasn't been cut. You just can't see how layered my hair is on a normal basis) Gene LOVED it. He really likes straight hair (mainly because loves hair. and when my hair is curly, he is not allowed to touch it) and couldn't get over how different it looks.

One man I work with told me that he barely recognized me with my hair this straight. I also had my head bent over a book and my hair was covering my face, but it's generally not as sleek as it is at the moment.

But the killer? Another man I work with... who has been up my butt about my getting back into acting every. day. doesn't know when to stop talking. First of all, about the acting thing, he says things like "you're so good at it." How would you know? You've NEVER seen me act. Ever. You have no idea if I'm a good actor or not. Second of all, he basically told me that my hair looked like shit and it was better before when it had body and that he doesn't know why women feel the need to want what they don't have.

I'm not one of those "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" people, but seriously? Don't go out of your way to tell me my hair sucks. The exact words he used were "Oh, going grunge now, are we?" Um. No. I'm not "grunge" it's just straight. This is not dissimilar to the time when one of my managers asked me if I frequented "The Grange" which is a goth club. Because I colored my hair to its natural color, instead of the bright red highlights that I had. Why do these men I work with feel the need to stick their nose in when it comes to MY HAIR?

Give me booze, or give me death.

It's amazing what a difference three years makes. I've lived in my new state for three years, and I haven't visited my college in that long. Why I decided on a whim to drive 90 minutes and pay (way too much) to see Shakespeare at my college I don't know. I had all these grandiose plans. My friend and I had packed a nice dinner (sandwiches, pudding, brownies, cheezits. We're so healthy) and we were going to stop by the liquor store that's around the corner from school, get a chilled bottle of white, and be on our merry way.

I managed to remember how to get there, which is actually pretty amazing because I haven't done the drive even a little in three years. We start to drive to the theatre, when I realize that we didn't stop at the liquor store. So we had to go back out. The road we need is totally destroyed... and I can't figure out how to get into the shopping center. When we finally do get in... we walk up to the liquor store (which is next to a kind of dirty, but very delicious pizza joint) and it's EMPTY. But it has a sign that says something like "Don't Mind our Appearance... Moving to the Promenade on August 15." Um. It's July. Not August. So...where is the wine?

We go across the street to the other shopping center (literally right across the street from one another. And they both have grocery stores in them. Oh, and in this state you can't by beer/wine in a grocery store. Need to go to liquor store for wine/liquor, and a state store for beer. It's backwards). The manager of the Giant is outside, so I say um...where's the liquor store that was RIGHT THERE? So then he tells me of this magical promenade that I've never been to because I haven't been here in three years. He explains how to get there...gives me the wrong names for roads, and sends me on my merry way. I find it by accident, because I had no idea where I was going and turned too early I think, and this thing is flipping huge. There are seriously 50 stores.... and they're all storefronts. It's like a mall turned inside-out. So I drive all over this freaking thing trying to find some damn wine (and at this point, I'm a little miffed because the show starts in 5 minutes and we're 15 minutes away)

Seriously. I looked everywhere for this damn store. I was getting a little more than annoyed... there's no map anywhere of what is where... and if I wasn't in a hurry, I'd totally browse in some of the shops (especially the boutique cosmetics store! yay!) but I didn't get to enjoy cute little boutiquey shops. I needed booze. So we decide to just leave and get soda or something, when I realize there's one little tiny strip that we ignored when we first came in. Of course that's where the liquor store is. If I had turned left instead of going straight, I would have saved myself 10 minutes. So we get our booze, and we get to the theatre at 6:30...the show started at 6.

Pulling into the theatre, I realize that the parking lot is empty, and none of the tables are set up for the Green Show. Which starts at 7...not 6. Whoops. At least I have booze. (it was good, too. I just wish I remembered what it was called.)