Twilight--check. New Moon--check. Eclipse--check. In 5 days...

So I finished the Twilight series. In less than a week. That's really sad, I feel. I did, however, need to catch up. I want to read them again... and look for parallels with other works. Wuthering Heights is a big one for her, that's an obvious parallel as is Romeo & Juliet. But generally the entire plot mimics one of the classics. Stephenie Meyer has said in interviews that Breaking Dawn is going to take inspiration from A Midsummer Night's Dream, one of my favorites. Seriously... this book has everything that I love. Shakespeare, intelligence, one hell of a romance, and let's face it--sexy vampires.

I really would like to talk plotpoints, but I know that becklette might read it, or she should at least, and I wouldn't want to ruin anything for her. So I won't.

I've been really anxious lately. For the past few days, I've been feeling like I have butterflies in my stomach all the time... which makes it really hard to eat because it makes me feel nauseated. I don't know if it's because I'm TERRIFIED to take over the new position at work, if I'm just that pathetically excited for Breaking Dawn to come out, or if I'm terrified for the play I'm doing. Or all three. I have no idea. But it's starting to annoy me. Really I think that it's afraid that I'm going to fail. At something. I'm carrying a lot right now, and I'm worried that something is going to break, and soon.

I've fallen madly in love with a fictional vampire... in a completely unhealthy way.

I don't know how I missed this book before now. I'm quite the avid reader... I tend to go on reading binges and read nonstop for weeks. And usually it's a series... and of course I need to read up to the most recent so I'm all caught up. I love series books... and I love the supernatural... and I love romance. So I'm really baffled as to how I missed the existence of Twilight for three whole years.

This book is... incredible. I read an article about the upcoming movie in EW a few weeks ago, and made the decision to read it. While I was waiting for a prescription to be filled the other day, I wandered over to Borders, stumbled across it, and figured now's a good a time as any. Two days later I was buying New Moon and Eclipse. That was yesterday. Yesterday, at 2:00... I bought New Moon while on my way to the doctor's office. I read 100 pages waiting for the doctor to come in... and once I got home from work, I had finished the book. This morning, I was wide awake at 5AM thanks to the nine mosquito bites on my right foot... so I read... 250 pages in Eclipse, which is about half the book. I literally can't put them down.

There have only been two authors that can get me like this. J.K. Rowling and Diana Gabaldon. And Stephenie Meyer basically has the best of both worlds....the supernatural that I loved in J.K. Rowling and the love story that makes your bones ache from the Outlandish series by Diana Gabaldon. I get really rude when I read like this... I don't talk to people... I just sit and read for probably 5 hours straight. I forgot to eat dinner yesterday because I was so engrossed. I ended up eating something much later than usual, but I mean... that's how focused I get when I read a book like this. It amazes me that someone can write like this. PLUS! Her grammar is IMPECCABLE! I love good grammar.

If you've been curious about it... read it. If you want to see the movie just a little... read it. If you love love love vampires... read it. And really, it isn't a "vampire" book. It's a heartwrenching once in a lifetime love story (with absolutely no sex whatsoever. The author is Mormon. She isn't going to have premarital VAMPIRE sex). Stephenie Meyer makes vampires sexy. Sexier than Angel. And that's hard. The other thing that I love is all of the literary references she makes. She's clearly a book nerd like me. Between Bronte, Shakespeare, Robert Frost, and Jane Austen... I couldn't be happier. And even though I have to sit at work for the next seven hours NOT reading, it's the only thing I'm thinking about. Man...I am such a nerd.

Have at it

I'd like to think that things are going my way recently. I've been getting a lot of great reviews at ULTA, I finally found a car that was perfect in price and mileage (but not size... it's a bit bigger than I wanted, and by bigger I mean Buick sized and a bit granny with the bench seating), rehearsals are going so far so good. Oh, and the real job, not the ULTA job, gave me a promotionish.

I'm calling it a promotionish because they aren't paying me anything better really than before. I barely got a raise. I mean like MAYBE $20 more a paycheck. Maybe. It's basically a living wage adjustment, not a raise. And it's a lot of extra work. I mean... a lot. It also includes a 30 minute show that runs on Sundays on both the FM and the AM radio station I work for. It sounds really cool, but in actuality it's a lot less cool than it sounds. I do very little during this show... but... now my name is out there. And my feeling is the more things I can learn in this business, the better off I am. I know that I speak well and that I'm a ball of energy and I think that other people would find me interesting, and up until now... the big guy upstairs did not at all want me on the air, but now that the person who used to do this job is leaving, they need me. The other thing that would be nice is that she used to fill in for the morning show when the fem personality would be on vacation. I definitely wouldn't turn up my nose to fill in. They probably won't give it to me, but, I definitely wouldn't say no. I just wish they would stop taking advantage of me and give me the raise they would give anyone else. But because I'm female and because I'm pretty much fresh out of college, they're going to take advantage of me.

Normally, I'd stand up for myself, but I'm backed into a corner. I want to do this job. I really like my job, and I think taking over this position would definitely be in my best interest, but if I march into that corner office with guns blazing and everything, they can very easily say "Ok then, pack your bags." I need to tread carefully. I don't want to be out of a job, but I don't want to be taken advantage of either. I don't know what to do.

First Relapse

I start rehearsal for a play tomorrow. I haven't acted in two years and I'm terrified that I might suck and that I won't be funny (the play is funny). What if I forget comedic timing? What if I can't memorize my 20 lines? I'm freaking out just a little. I met one guy in the cast on Wednesday night...he seems nice and normal. One of the cast members, maybe two, has to live in my house during rehearsal because they live in either NYC or D.C. We're rehearsing in the middle...which is good because that's where I live.

The play is funny.. it was written by a friend of Gene's (oh yeah, I decided yesterday that I don't care anymore about the letters... mainly because I usually type the name by accident and have to go back and edit anyway) and it feels a lot like a show I did in college, and therefore feels a lot like Six Degrees of Separation (which was based on the board game Life. This play is not based on the board game Life. It just has similar acting/writing styles). Anyway, my character is the one of the only people with a name (Mary) and one of the only people who is in a realistic play. Basically everyone is aware that they're in a play/playing a game, except one guy...Joe...who is in love with me even though he doesn't know my name. The play feature other characters such as South African American Hassidic Bisexual, Feminist Slut... and other such joys. It's also titled "Untitled Masterpiece." I saw a production of it two years ago... with a bunch of interns at a theatre company... and it was ok. They missed a lot of the jokes. The girl who played my character played her far too straight, so she missed a lot of opportunities.

My biggest fear in acting is that it's going to be indication station. I haven't acted in so long I'm afraid it's going to be god awful. Oh yeah, and to make things even more OH MY GOD, the show is being produced in New York. The play was accepted into the NYC Fringe Festival this summer... so I'm going to be in an actual theatre in New York City. I get to pretend for five whole days that I'm a real actor. I do miss acting... a lot... a lot a lot. I have to find a place to live, though. People are conviently ignoring my "hey, I'm homeless for the month of August... can I live on your couch?" requests.

There's nothing like the feeling of a..NuCar.

My car is dead to me. It isn't *dead* but it might as well be. There is some bad valve or something in the engine that is pressing on the gas? Or something? I'm not sure if I'm allowed to drive it. So... I need to get a new car. I'm not sure how this new car is going to be had... since, you know, I just bought a house. It's going to be really difficult. I called Daddy dearest and asked if he could give me money for a down payment for said car for my birthday. And I have some money saved up. Not much. And hopefully I'm getting my stimulus check soon (Yup. Still haven't gotten that yet. Supposed to be getting $600.) So I'll have that. I doubt I'll get any trade for my car, and if I do.. it probably won't be any more than $500. So... it isn't worth me fixing it since that's all I'd get for it. I'd be putting in about as much as it's worth. And I was going to get a new car in September... I just need to do it a few months early.

All day today I looked on all of the dealerships in the area to see what, if anything, I could find. I found some things. I also might take some gold that I don't wear and sell it at a gold place. I hear that the cost per ounce for gold is pretty high these days. So... maybe I'll get something. The madre said I could use some of her mishmosh of jewelry for that. I have a little of my own that I could sell. I haven't run this past A yet, so I don't know how he feels about it. It's my jewelry... and I'm not selling anything that he's given to me... so I don't see the harm.

My faux goddaughter (L) is coming over to help cheer me up today. Her mom has been my best friend for a super long time... and she's my faux goddaughter bc she isn't baptised. But I'd be her godmother if she was. So. She's my goddaughter. She's four... almost five (oh my god) and probably one of the cutest kids ever. I just love that little peanut to pieces. I have to run home quickly and vaccuum before they get over here... but I'm super excited that they're coming over. I'm not sure what we're going to do for dinner. L is a little bit of a picky eater, but most 4 yr olds are. She isn't as picky as I was, that's for sure!!!

Pregnant Chinese Birthdays. Those are the best birthdays, really.

I'm surrounded by pregnant women. One of my friends at work is about 7 months pregnant, my former BFF from high school is about just as pregnant (she's trying to rekindle our friendship all of a sudden. Probably because she realized all the people she ditched me for a few years ago are assholes), one of A's cousins just had a baby... and A's other cousin's wife is about 7 months pregnant. It's pregnancy and babies all over. I don't know how much cuteness I can take before my ovaries start hurting and I really start to want a puppy. A doesn't want a dog until we start having kids because he says that if you have a dog, you might as well have a kid. But I think we should do the puppy thing first.

We (and by we I mean other people I work with) took my pregnant work friend out to lunch today... and i had the. best. chinese food. ever. Seriously. Ever. If you ever see a P.F. Changs, you need to go there. It's A-mazing. And you need to try the China mist iced tea. Awesome. It's really good with one sweet & low in it... and I don't even like sweet & low, but it was good. It's even good unsweetened. But we had a lot of fun. There were supposed to be 6 of us, and it ended up being only 3 because we had a problem with our billing system at work, so two of the women who were supposed to go stayed behind to figure out what the heck happened. But even with the 3 of us, our bill was only like $35. Which for a place that's supposed to be pricey I say is awesome. And we had an appetizer (lettuce chicken wraps. Yum).

I've been fairly mellowed out lately. All of the crazy "I want to kill her" events are over with... I survived the dinner.. and I survived D's surprise 60th party (which Z took over and was kind of a bitch about. But only kind of) They decided to do a roast for D, which I thought was a great idea. A emceed the night... and the last speaker was Y. Y had this slideshow dvd made of all these pictures... but his "roast" of his father was all about how he is engaged to the beast. Again, they made it all about them. So for the pictures... they had all of these pictures of Disney World in there. About 2 years ago? maybe? they went to Disney for the Knights of Columbus.. A and I were not invited. So Y put all of these pictures from the Disney trip on the slideshow. Most of them were of just C and D. Then all of these pictures of Z kept slipping in. And then there was a picture at a wedding of one of A's cousins (the one who just had the baby) from a year or so ago. Of just the four of them. When I know for a fact that there is one of the 6 of us. But that's not the one they put on. There were probably 10-15 pictures of that ugly face on there... and how many of me? One. I've been in the family for 5 years. Z has been there for maybe 3. Now, I wouldn't care if there were any of me as long as there weren't a bunch of her there. That's just in bad taste. And people came up to me during the party and asked me about it. A's one uncle actually came up to me and asked why there weren't hardly any of me, when I'm so much nicer to look at. For a guy who barely remembers me ever, he's now my favorite uncle of A's.