Why must I torture myself?

I love theatre, I really do... but whenever I see a show, especially a good one with a great cast, I miss it so much and then I get sad. Because right now I just can't do theatre even locally. I need both of my jobs too much, and I'm not in a place where I can let my second job go so that I can do a show for two weeks.

Right on the heels of seeing an amazing show in NYC, I'm going up to my college today. My school houses a Shakespeare Festival... and I'm a big ol' Shakespeare nerd. Shakespeare acting and text and everything was a big part of my education, because of the Shakespeare Festival. There is an acting internship program that is only available to students of the acting program I went through. Granted, I was never part of it... because I wasn't a "super actor" according to a certain someone (ahem!) but oh well. I only auditioned twice. My freshman year I skipped it, because I was too intimidated. My sophomore year I was called back, but I wasn't that good. My junior year I rocked it. And I didn't get called back at all, and was crushed. So my senior year, I didn't audition. And THREE of my professors pulled me aside and said "We really think you should reconsider auditioning for the festival this summer." Too bad. I had a job already in place (the job that became my fulltime job at the radio station) so I really think that I made the right decision. Besides, if I auditioned, it wasn't like they were going to give me an actual role. I was going to be in the chorus of one thing or another.

I'm very excited to go up and see what the festival is like this summer. There is an outdoor show everyday at 6pm that is all of the acting interns. It's called The Green Show and it's a lot of Shakespeare Improv and audience participation and embarassment. It's GREAT. And then a very good friend of mine is playing Demetrius in A Midsummer Nights' Dream, which happens to be one of my favorite Shakespeare plays. My favorite is Twelfth Night, then the Scottish play, then Midsummer. The only Shakespeare play that I've ever read and not liked was Henry II. Hated that play. It could have been the class I had to read it for, but it holds some bad bad memories.

I killed the boss. You don't think they're not going to fire me for that!?

Yesterday was the best day ever. Okay, that might be a slight exaggeration, but not by much. My best friend bought us tickets to go see 9 to 5 on Broadway for my birthday. And I do have to admit that when I first heard last year that 9 to 5 was coming to Broadway, I was not a happy camper. I was skeptical... because I noticed a trend that all of these movies keep becoming musicals (Hairspray--which I love, Shrek--which I don't really know, American Psycho--which I'm still really REALLY skeptical about, etc. etc). But I admitted that I was wrong. I listened to the music for 9 to 5, and fell in love with the song "Get Out and Stay Out" which Judy sings at the end of Act 2. Dolly Parton really is a musical genius. (I heart Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. I really really do. I think it's amazing.)

I was very lucky to still see the original cast... and I don't think that's ever happened to me before. I always see it a few years later when the leads have been turned around a few times. But I was super lucky to see Allison Janney, Megan Hilty, and Stephanie Block. These three ladies are absolutely incredible. Allison Janney is IMHO one of the funneist women in show business. I fell in love with her at "She's got a big ass then...she's got a big ass now" in Drop Dead Gorgeous. And if you haven't seen that movie, rent it now. It's HILARIOUS.

Megan Hilty is one of my favorite musical theatre actors. She was my favorite Galinda in Wicked because she has this amazing sense for comedy. She's definitely not afraid to look stupid... which is so important in comedy. Her accent was also perfect. If you closed your eyes, you'd swear it was Dolly Parton onstage. And Stephanie Block breaks my heart. I just wanted to run up there and give her a big hug. I SOBBED during "Get Out and Stay Out." It's definitely my favorite number. They're all great songs... but this one is so incredibly moving. And Stephanie Block totally hits it out of the park.

I'd have to say that my favorite part of the show was watching these women's faces. You can just tell that they're having the time of their lives onstage. During the number when Allison Janney's character dreams about being CEO of the company, she was just beaming. I could also tell that they're getting to that point in a show where you do your own thing? Stephanie Block had a line in the show that I can't imagine was in the script. When they're about to kidnap their boss... she says to him "No good deed goes unpunished" which is hilarious since she went from playing Elphaba in Wicked to playing Judy in 9 to 5. I cracked up... and a few other people got the joke, too. But it's the little things like that that make me love (and miss...) live theatre.

One of my favorite moments of the day, though, was not during the show. We had horrible horrible weather... it rained THE WHOLE TIME and my pants were soaking wet. And of course I wore dark jeans.. so they were sticking to me. Gross. But I'm walking through Times Square not paying attention to anything because I'm wet and slightly cranky when I hear someone shout my first and last name. Interesting thing to hear in Times Square. One of my friends from college was working in Times Square handing out flyers for tickets to a musical. It doesn't surprise me that I ran into someone from college..because MOST of my friends live in New York, but I don't expect to hear my name shouted in Times Square.

We also had an amazing dinner before the show. If you're looking for a great place to eat in New York City, walk a few blocks to 9th Ave and pick something there. There are so many great restaurants on 9th. We went to a place called Frangolino. Great food. Really good calimari, and really really good pinot noir.

Reasons why you should probably look at the schedule FIRST.

I'm on the website of the theatre that's doing Thoroughly Modern Millie... and it's a good thing I did. They have three dates for auditions. Monday and Wednesday, the auditions are 45 minutes away. Tuesday, they're 10 minutes away, but that's the day that I work at ULTA at night. So I can't do the Tuesday audition.

And then I'm looking at the run of the show... and it runs from August through October (oh yeah, long runs... five shows a week Wednesday thru Sunday) but I didn't realize that the Wednesday shows? Are at 11am. As in while I'm at my fulltime job. As in for two months, I'd have to take a vacation day so that I could do the show if I'm cast. Plus I'd have to quit ULTA because um I'm not doing a show, a full time job, and a part time job. No way. So what the heck am I going to do?

And the other theatre that I was going to audition for? Those auditions were on Saturday, but I had my friend's wedding to go to...so there was no way of doing that. Apparently they're having more auditions tomorrow because they wanted 35 people to fill out the cast, and they only had 25 show up. So they need more bodies. This show isn't a show that's really "my type" but their run is only a few weekends rather than two months... and the rehearsal schedule would probably be a bit easier. That way I'd only have to take a small ULTA hiatus if any (I can't afford an ULTA hiatus.. the other theatre with the Wednesday matinees is a paid position because it's a dinner theatre and the actors are the servers, so they make money on tips)

I don't mean to talk myself out of this audition, because I REALLY want to do it.. but if I get cast in the show? What's that going to mean for my full time job? I can't do eight or nine Wednesdays off in a row... unless I can make up my hours some other way. I don't know. I'm trying to see how this can work out, and I'm not coming up with anything. I don't know what to do. The dinner theatre I think I could possibly have a shot at a role. The theatre that's doing the show I'm not crazy about? No way in hell. I can't be a Swedish sexpot. I could be her spunky sister. Not a sexpot. That ain't happening...ever. Unless the director is blind.

Step one: New Voice Teacher

In the world of musical theatre, it's imperative to keep ones voice in shape, which I have not. I haven't sung out loud in front of people in over three years. And it definitely shows. So I called up a local vocal coach who was recommended by a friend who works in the industry, and had my first lesson about an hour ago. It went all right... not the best lesson I've had... but that's understandable with the shape that my voice is in.

I basically need to go to a vocal boot camp between now and June 8th (the date of my audition) if I think that I'm going to be in any shape to do this right and get cast. We picked out possibly two songs, not the two songs I originally planned on singing. But Not For Me by George Gershwin from various shows he's done, and from The Roar of the Greasepaint, The Smell of the Crowd, Nothing Can Stop Me Now! The Gershwin song I'm very familiar with, I've worked on it before, so it's comfortable. The other song I've never heard before in my LIFE but it is a great song.

The strangest thing about this lesson? I heard the six words that I dread hearing: I really think you're a soprano. I've categorized myself as a BELTER forever. My first two voice teachers were convinced that I was a soprano... and I fought it with everything I have. The teacher that I had the longest agreed with me that I was an alto, a belter, possibly a mezzo. Even the musical director from college (weasel that he was) was convinced that I was a soprano. He even told my best friend, who is a coloratura soprano (so ridiculously high it could break glass) that SHE is an alto and I am a soprano. We laughed at him for years over that comment.

But now I'm questioning. What if I am really a soprano, and I've been fighting it for so long, and now I've screwed my voice? I think that if I work hard over the next two weeks (and see if I can find instrumentals of these songs somewhere) I can improve my voice enough so that it's back in good shape again. But we'll see. I'm still terrified of this audition. Why do I do these things to myself?

Musical Update

The reason that they can't say the name of the show is apparently because another very well respected theatre in the area is also doing it, and their show closes July 19th. So they can officially announce it July 20th. But it isn't a big secret. The problem? It is not a show for me. There is only one female character, and I am not tall, blonde, nor do I have giganto boobs. Nor am I sexy on-stage. (and that is not to sound down on myself. There's a reason I'll never be cast as the sex pot, and actually cast as her super smart and nerdy little sister)

BUT!!! There's another theatre around here (that is paid... because it's a dinner theatre) that is doing THOROUGHLY MODERN MILLIE. THAT is a me show. I can sing the crap out of that show. So. I'm working on something for that audition which is on June 8th. Definitely more to come on that. Also, I auditioned for this theatre in the past when they were doing Chicago, and I was called back for Roxie. So I KNOW that I can get a callback. I wasn't in the show at all... but the problem with me in Chicago is that I can play Roxie, or I can play Roxie. This face ain't a Merry Murderess. The thing with this theatre is that their casting call is AEA and Non-Equity will be seen as time permits. And they generally cast AEA for leads. So chances are that I'll just be in the chorus. But ya never know. I'm still gonna sing and dance my ass off.

At the moment, I'm thinking about probably using "I Got Rhythm" for an audition piece or "Astonishing" from Little Women. The first because it's similar in style to songs from the show, and the latter because it was originally performed by Sutton Foster who played Millie in the Original Revival Cast of the show a few years ago. Both are songs I've worked on in the past, so I'm comfortable with either. I still feel like I'm having a panic attack about it, though.

What if I've forgotten how to sing and act at the same time?

I might be crazy. I didn't want to do any theatre this summer at all, because it took my life last summer. And I like my life. But there's this community theatre down here (yes, community theatre, but they do some pretty good stuff) that I have an "in" at... and my "in" is directing. And the auditions are May 30th. But they won't tell me what show.

So I may or may not have (that means I did) emailed his wife and said I wasn't asking her what show her husband was directing, but if I decided to audition... do I want to prepare something Kander and Ebb/Stephen Sondheim-y? Loud, low, and belty? Or do I want to prepare something Rodgers and Hammerstein/puppies and rainbows-y? Pretty sounding ballady about how awesome love is until your husband beats you up? (that's from Carousel, in case you were wondering).

AND! Later in the year... this place is doing RENT. I love RENT. I can sing the crap out of RENT. Hi, community theatre in Delaware, meet your new Maureen. Please?

I know I'm probably going to regret this. I think. Oh, God, someone help me.

Idina Idina Idina!

Idina Menzel is coming to Delaware... again. She was here last year, and the show sold out in five minutes...and I was really sad. Apparently, this time they gave her a much larger venue... and there are lots of tickets left. A friend of mine managed to get us a few bucks off the tickets, so they were only $31 instead of $38. I'm super excited.

The only dilemma I'm having at the moment... next week, for four days, Mandy Patinkin and Patty LuPone are also in Delaware. And I REALLY want to go. With all of the "servicing fees" and nonsense that the theatre is charging ($11.50 for a service charge) the ticket would cost over $70. I mean, I love Mandy and Patty... Patty LuPone was one of the reasons I wanted to do theater...but I really can't afford that much money! I'm so bummed. And! The thing is... the theatre that's hosting the show is a client of the stations. SOMETIMES I can get comp tickets to shows, but usually only if they aren't selling well. I don't know if I can work my comp magic for this one, but I'm really crossing my fingers. I keep trying to convince our programming director that he needs to get Mandy and Patty in-studio for an interview. When I told him about it, the only thing he could say was "Mandy Patinkin is in town? When? Really? Mandy Patinkin? I love Mandy Patinkin." I mean, I'd be backstage and be Patty's bitch for the evening. Please? Pretty please? You don't even have to give me a seat! Just let me stand in the back... I will. I'll do whatever you want, damnit.

Idina will be fun though. I heard that her show was great the last time she came through... and her non theatre stuff is actually pretty amazing. Maybe we can get Idina in studio for an interview... or I'll have to suck up to someone to get backstage. Seriously. Of all of the crazy people I've met in radio, these are my people. These are the people that if I meet...I faint. Because I love them. And they're amazing. And they were the reasons I wanted to sing. I don't anymore, not really. But maybe for a night I can live vicariously through a stranger.

First Relapse

I start rehearsal for a play tomorrow. I haven't acted in two years and I'm terrified that I might suck and that I won't be funny (the play is funny). What if I forget comedic timing? What if I can't memorize my 20 lines? I'm freaking out just a little. I met one guy in the cast on Wednesday night...he seems nice and normal. One of the cast members, maybe two, has to live in my house during rehearsal because they live in either NYC or D.C. We're rehearsing in the middle...which is good because that's where I live.

The play is funny.. it was written by a friend of Gene's (oh yeah, I decided yesterday that I don't care anymore about the letters... mainly because I usually type the name by accident and have to go back and edit anyway) and it feels a lot like a show I did in college, and therefore feels a lot like Six Degrees of Separation (which was based on the board game Life. This play is not based on the board game Life. It just has similar acting/writing styles). Anyway, my character is the one of the only people with a name (Mary) and one of the only people who is in a realistic play. Basically everyone is aware that they're in a play/playing a game, except one guy...Joe...who is in love with me even though he doesn't know my name. The play feature other characters such as South African American Hassidic Bisexual, Feminist Slut... and other such joys. It's also titled "Untitled Masterpiece." I saw a production of it two years ago... with a bunch of interns at a theatre company... and it was ok. They missed a lot of the jokes. The girl who played my character played her far too straight, so she missed a lot of opportunities.

My biggest fear in acting is that it's going to be indication station. I haven't acted in so long I'm afraid it's going to be god awful. Oh yeah, and to make things even more OH MY GOD, the show is being produced in New York. The play was accepted into the NYC Fringe Festival this summer... so I'm going to be in an actual theatre in New York City. I get to pretend for five whole days that I'm a real actor. I do miss acting... a lot... a lot a lot. I have to find a place to live, though. People are conviently ignoring my "hey, I'm homeless for the month of August... can I live on your couch?" requests.

A little introduction

So, I'm new here. Never really blogged before, but after a friend of mine started a blog (which I'll most likely link) I decided to start one as well. I'd like to leave myself fairly anonymous, since well, I can be catty. And I'd like to not get in trouble. But I need an outlet. I'll tell you that I check off the 18-25 box, I live in the Northeast, and I used to be an actor. For a long time. Not a professional actor, mind you, but it was how I defined myself for so long.

I gave up acting midway through college. I still finished my theatre degree, but I had decided midway through my sophomore year that I didn't want to act professionally anymore. Not even a little. So I gave it up. I never wanted to seriously move to NYC or LA, so I figured why bother? I did audition for a few regional theatres around the area, but for fun not money. Now I'm working at a job I moderately like (sometimes it gives me high blood pressure. But only sometimes). I lived at a place I hated, and recently bought (yikes!) a place I love. And I live in sin with my boyfriend of a long time. I am in no hurry to get married and don't feel that I should be rushed by anyone. I have no moral opposings to living with someone, in fact, I think it's kind of stupid not to live with someone before you marry them. My parents and his parents have no moral opposings to us living together either, and it was his grandmother's idea... so... I think we aren't going to hell. Not for that, at least.

I've decided that this blog might be a little rant-y. It is, after all, my outlet for things I'm not allowed to say out loud. It's my Inner Monoblog. I think I'm going to change my headline to that if I can.. I just came up with it, and I like it a lot. You might have noticed that I tend to not use complete sentences. While I'm a complete grammar Nazi, I tend to type as a speak... and sometimes we speak in phrases, not sentences. Especially me. You do it, too... don't lie.

Well.. that's me. Basically. There is more, but I need material to post about, now, don't I? I have lots of baggage. Lots of it. If someone else (or me) wrote about my life...it would probably be really funny. It isn't so much funny at the time, but at least I know how to look back at myself and laugh. I think that's an important quality for someone to have.