Thursday, August 6, 2009

The Family Smile

This isn't the first, and it probably won't be the last, time that I've mentioned my dislike for some of my extended family. I have family members who can't remember Gene's name (and we've been together for six years...) and treat him as if they've never met him before. Probably because he doesn't make a lot of money. My godfather forgets about me every Christmas... but remembers all of my other cousins and spouses of cousins. I have one cousin that i used to be really close with. We barely speak now.

I don't know what I did to piss my family off so much. I mean, I do realize now that they aren't all sunshine and rainbows... and that they are horribly flawed. They aren't as close as they all pretend to be... and they aren't very nice people (for the most part. there are some members of my extended family that I love dearly).

Most of this dislike came bubbling out at a recent wedding... where my one cousin refused to give me a hug, refused to say hello to me or to Gene, and flat out ignored me the entire time. Her sister-in-law was absolutely lovely... and I adore her. At first I let it get to me... and I even started to tear up... because I want nothing more than to have that little bubble back where I think my family is wonderful and everyone is happy. And I want them to like me. I really don't like it when people don't like me, and I know I shouldn't care what people think, but that's how I work, ok? I don't know what I did to these people that they despise me.

We left the wedding early (and the fact that Gene was even there is a huge deal. He refuses to go to family functions because he doesn't like pretending to people) and apparently that's when all hell broke loose. I got a phone call earlier today from my father asking me if everything was all right with my sister. He said that she basically closed herself off after we left... and was very quiet, and he was worried about her. Because my gem of a perfect cousin (the one who wouldn't say hello to me?) said something to my sister... don't know what, my dad wouldn't tell me, and then proceeded to call my father an asshole. Which he said he provoked, but I don't know. I think what happened was she probably said something snide either about me or my sister... my dad defended us... and she called him an asshole.

Are other peoples families like this? Perfect on the outside but volatile when pushed? I would love nothing more than to rip these people a new one.. but they're my family and I feel like I'm supposed to just play nice... smile... and take it. I've already let them know why Gene doesn't come around. They didn't like my answer. Maybe that's why they all hate me.


Joanie M said...

The other side of the family thinks you're great!

And they like Gene!

And they remember his name!

Fidgeting Gidget said...

Every family has drama. My grandma and great uncle (her brother) barely speak because of stuff that was left to him when my great grandma died that she thought should have been hers. They're so dysfunctional. I just met most of my husband's extended family for the first time (in four years) this past weekend. Only 1 out of like 30 introduced herself to me and made me feel welcome. The rest just did the stare down. They're mad at us because we didn't invite all 1 million of them to our wedding, with the exception of his aunts and uncles (who complained the whole time and left early). You're not alone. Idiotic family members are everywhere.