Wednesday, December 30, 2009

No, I'm fine. Really. I'm fine.

Do you ever find yourself being unnaturally upset about something that in all honestly shouldn't mean that much?

My ex is engaged. Which is great. And honestly, I'm happy for him and I think that his fiancee is good for him. And really the problem isn't that my ex is engaged to someone else. It's that my ex is engaged before I am engaged. My ex who was terrified of committment and sabotaged our relationship by sleeping with someone else because we were getting more serious than he wanted to be. My ex who spend the following YEAR actively trying to sleep with me and get me back. My ex that I am still friends with, but there's that strange tension everytime we see each other because it's like I'm "the one who got away."

Should I be upset that this guy... mr. committment-phobe is engaged, and I, who has been in a very serious relationship for seven years, am not? Everyone is getting engaged and getting married before me. And every time someone else gets married or announces that they're getting engaged, I get more and more upset. Like actual tears upset. I don't know what to do. I'm never getting married.

1 comment:

Fidgeting Gidget said...

I'm sorry. This sucks. I had a terrible time when my ex got engaged, and I had an even more terrible time when my husband didn't propose in the time frame that I wanted.

But let me say this---being married and being in a serious relationship (you live with your guy, right?) aren't really all THAT different. It's basically a piece of paper and a status symbol, and once the initial fuss and wedding is over, you get back to normal life, living together and growing together. I don't think that you necessarily NEED to be married. I got married, mostly because we come from traditional families and upbringings, but I can honestly say that we were just as happy beforehand. It'll happen for you eventually.

I don't know if that's helpful or not. I just rambled a lot.