Monday, October 19, 2009

Oh, Childhood...

My friend Sara and I were supposed to see The Invention of Lying this weekend, but after spending JUST a little more time in JoAnn's Fabrics than we intended (stupid busy cutting table on Saturdays...) and being a bit (ok, really) tired, we decided that we'd rather watch a movie at my house instead. But not just any random movie. The Dark Crystal.

Now. My mother swears up and down that I loved this movie as a child... and I watched it all the time. I don't remember this movie at all. But I do think that Jen the Gelfling looks suspiciously like the muppet version of Link from the Zelda games. And Kira the Gelfling is a little Zelda-y to me. But that's besides the point. I have a very hard time believing that I LURVED this movie as a child, because, well THIS IS SO NOT A CHILDREN'S MOVIE! IT'S TERRIFYING!!!

Whenever I watched the Sesame Street Christmas Special... you know the one I'm talking about. Everyone goes ice skating... and they are all holding hands and spinning in a giant circle.. and Oscar the Grouch is on the end... and someone (I believe it was Big Bird... that giant yellow bastard) lets go of Oscars hand and he goes FLYING across the ice and falls down a flight of stairs? I would SCREAM because I was afraid that Oscar was dead. Don't you think that I'd be effing TERRIFIED of those creepy Skeksis??? They are like the super evil cousins of the Fire Gang from Labyrinth.

There are some movies that I distinctly remember as a child, though. I used to watch The Incredibly Mr. Limpet every Sunday. Though... I don't remember it being about World War II AT ALL!! That went WAY over my 4 year old head. We also had this tape that had the Smurf Christmas special, all of the Charlie Brown holiday specials, and this weird really old Garfield Halloween special on it? Until my mother unceremoniously taped over it. I still haven't completely forgiven her for that. My brother and sister and I watched that every single Christmas morning. That and The Christmas Toy... if you watch The Christmas Toy and then watch A Toy Story... they're the SAME EXACT MOVIE except The Christmas Toy takes place on Christmas Eve, and that's it. But they're the SAME EXACT MOVIE.

The other tape that was destroyed by my mother was Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass... four hours of Lewis Carroll craziness starring Natalie Gregory as Alice. And it had EVERY person who was ever famous in the 80s ever. It was a made for tv movie musical... and it was pure genius. I compare every other version of Alice in Wonderland to this version, and none of them even come close. It's also the most accurate to Lewis Carroll's book. This movie has Carol Channing, Ringo Starr, Imogene Coca, Cid Ceasar, Anthony Newley, Sammy Davis Jr, Red Buttons, Ann Gillian, Sally Struthers, Pat Morita, Scott Baio... seriously... every person who was famous in the 80s. And the Jabberwocky. If you think I was terrified of Oscar... that damn Jabberwocky gave me some serious nightmares.


Fidgeting Gidget said...

I LOVED THE CHRISTMAS TOY! Especially the mean purple/blue lady doll...I thought she was glamorous.

And I do remember the Garfield Halloween special....some of my favorite weird TV specials include:
Father Knows Best Home for Christmas
A Smokey Mountain Christmas (WITH DOLLY PARTON)
Kenny and Dolly Christmas to Remember (do you notice a theme here?)
Pee-Wee's Christmas
and the Crystal Gayle Christmas

RecoveringActor said...

Meteora!! She was awesome. I wanted to be her, even though she was technically the "villain." I also wanted to be a Misfit because I thought Jem and her Holograms were BORING. And the Misfits had better music.

Joanie M said...

Boy, I must have a mean old bitch back when you were a kid. Destroying your tapes and all. Actually, I don't think I taped over them because I always broke off that little tab thingy so it wouldn't happen by accident. You probably wore the damn thing out!