I find it funny how strong and angry women's loyalties are to their friends. You never see a guy take his best friend's girlfriend aside and say "I swear to God, if you hurt him, I'll cut you." But if I girl tells her best friend's new boyfriend, "You make her cry and I'll cut off your balls and make you eat them," no one bats an eye. At least, I've said those things. And no ones ever said anything close like that to me before.
Right now... one of the people that I get very protective of is very far away. I know I've talked about Colleen before, but it's just hard. I lived with the girl for four years of my life, and she's been my best friend for seven years... and now there's an ocean between us and it upsets me that if there's some douche that hurts her, I can't threaten his life. It also bothers me that I see this cryptic status updates on facebook about how miserable life is, and I can only imagine who it's about.
I've mentioned The Irish Wonder Boy before, but this guy seriously did a number on this girl. Is it a guy thing to be emotionally unavailable, or is this an Irish thing to be emotionally unavailable? Now this toolbox is parading this other girl around (this girl who butchered one of my favorite songs on RTE, which kind of makes me happy), but he still calls Colleen all the time and basically tortures the girl. I know that she's a big girl and she can take care of herself, but I really want to punch this "perfect" guy in the face.
I hate that I invited him into my home and fed him one of the best meals I've ever made. I hate that I introduced him to Gene and that Gene LIKES the guy, because he's a fucking charmer. And I really hate that I don't want to hate him! I really wanted him to be as nice as he seemed to be. This girl deserves the world... and what's funny is that usually she's the typical male in the relationship. Guys fawn over her, she thinks "what's this guy's problem" and runs for the hills. The ONE TIME she doesn't run... she's still convinced that she's going to marry him... and I know that if he called her tomorrow and said "I'm sorry... I really do love you, please marry me," she'd say yes. Then I'd have to swim to Ireland, bash her on the head, and drag her home for her own good.
But I can't say anything. Because she needs to get her heart broken, as hard as that can be... watching your best friend get her heart broken and knowing that it's the best thing for her. She's never really invested herself in a relationship. She's dated two definite gay men and two with the jury still out, and multiple guys with crazy obsessions, but none of them have been real relationships. Not really. She needs a real relationship with real heartache and real fights. It's so easy to try to put the people you love in this bubble to protect them, and I think the hardest thing to admit is that maybe that bubble is the worst thing that you could do.