Friday, March 20, 2009

I feel so OLD.

Facebook, or stalkerbook as it should be better called, is a great way to keep in touch, stay friends, right? No. It isn't. It's a great way to be all braggy and "Oh I'm doing GREAT... isn't my job GREAT... aren't my pictures WONDERFUL" It's a great way to have that phony 10 year reunion conversation with those people you secretly wanted to trip in the hallways of high school ALL THE TIME.

Recently, I've started to find exes of mine on facebook. We all know how well things went with The Ex. My first ex, who is actually a great guy and we broke up because of bad timing. I was 14, he was 15, neither of us drove, and we lived 40 minutes away from one another which is an ETERNITY when you're a freshman in high school. He was the cousin of one of my neighbors, and he was really tall, and very attractive. And now he's on facebook, and it scares me.

It scares me because he has been married for as long as I've been dating Gene, and he has three children. He's 26. He is 26 years old and he has three children. My mother was 28 when she had me, and I'm her firstborn. I'm going to be 25 in a few months and children are no one in my very near future. I keep saying that I'm surrounded by babies and weddings, but this one freaks me out like no other... because in some weird universe, that could have been me. In all honesty, there's no reason why this guy and I broke up other than we never saw each other. And he made me pay for our first (and only) date. We dated for a total of 9 months. He's the only person I dated more than once (three times) and each time for 3 months.

When did I get so OLD that my exes are engaged and getting married??


Tova Darling said...

Yeah, I think cyber-stalking exes is secretly the real point of Facebook. They just call it "a place for friends" because it sounds better than "a place where you can check to see if your ex's current significant other is uglier than you."

becklette said...

my ex is married. HA. and did i mention HA HA HA. also? SUCKER.

but, then, i've been married for TWO AND A HALF YEARS. which is officially longer than any of my pre-marriage relationships, including the one with my husband.