I know you think I'm made of magic, but...

Apparently some people I work with think that I can work miracles. This is not the case. There is no such thing as the production fairy, and I can't make magic happen just because you want it to.

For example:

* Copyrighted music is copyrighted music. Just because your client really likes the song "Bad to the Bone" doesn't mean they're allowed to put it in their commercial. That's illegal. They can buy the royalty rights to the song for thousands and thousands of dollars, but I'm not getting the station sued because your client is an idiot.

* Concerts are the only exception. An artist isn't going to get uppity about using their music when it's to promote them. But that doesn't mean that I have it. Therefore... get it from your client, or drive 4 miles to Borders and go buy it. I'm not illegally pirating it off of the internet. Because it's illegal. Sorry.

* Your spec commercial that hasn't bought advertising yet? Yeah. Bottom of my pile. Because the ones who gave us money already also have commercials that need to get done...and they're a priority. Tough cookies. Stop bugging me about it.

* No your client with no contract can't come in to record a commercial at 5:00 in the evening when I'm supposed to be walking out the door so that it can run tomorrow morning. That's not only rude and inconsiderate, but it's also a bit assinine.

* Just because you think you're a politician doesn't give yout he right to be a douchebag. Oh, wait....

* When you fail to tell me that something is approved, don't get all testy with me when I don't have the commercial produced. I wasn't given the ok by you. And when you tell me to produce one thing, and then expect me to give you something else entirely.. well, just remember that I'm not psychic. So if you wanted that other one done, you should have said so. Stop getting on my case every 5 minutes for not having something you never told me you wanted done to begin with. Pay attention to what you tell me.

* I cannot be responsible for the stupidity, idiocy, or forgetfulness of another person. I'm responsible for my own stupidity and forgetfulness... but rarely do those happen. Please stop yelling at me because you're an idiot.

* Don't blame your stupidity, idiocy, or forgetfulness on me to a manager. Try throwing me under any bus and see what happens. Because guess what. I keep track of everything. And I mean everything. So. I have a paper trail for your stupidity.