In my line of work (listing events for non profit organizations-NPO), I often get bribed. At Halloweentime, a local animal rights NPO tried to bribe me with a sparkly spider ring, Halloween candy, and a giant plastic Halloween tumbler with sparkly bats and pumpkins on it. I wore the sparkly spider ring for a week. The funny this was that I already had our event listed.
Yesterday, some intern dropped off paperwork for a 5k run/walk that benefits local high schools and such. Another event I already have listed. And this intern also did not disappoint in her bribery. I got a bag full of about a half dozen apples.
I'm allergic to fresh fruit. My throat closes... I stop breathing... it's a lot of fun. I recommend trying it.
It might be prudent to do a bit of research before dropping off goodies for bribery purposes. My fruit allergy was actually triggered by an apple (a gala apple to be exact) and I find it a little ironic. There's also a client that we deal with who often sends us goodies like giant boxes of chocolates... or these awesome brownies and cookes from this company whose name I can never remember... and edible arrangements. Not only am I allergic to fruit, but so is the account executive for this particular client.
Sidenote... my 100th post is coming up. I should probably do something fun and exciting, right? Like what?
Friday, March 27, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
I feel so OLD.
Facebook, or stalkerbook as it should be better called, is a great way to keep in touch, stay friends, right? No. It isn't. It's a great way to be all braggy and "Oh I'm doing GREAT... isn't my job GREAT... aren't my pictures WONDERFUL" It's a great way to have that phony 10 year reunion conversation with those people you secretly wanted to trip in the hallways of high school ALL THE TIME.
Recently, I've started to find exes of mine on facebook. We all know how well things went with The Ex. My first ex, who is actually a great guy and we broke up because of bad timing. I was 14, he was 15, neither of us drove, and we lived 40 minutes away from one another which is an ETERNITY when you're a freshman in high school. He was the cousin of one of my neighbors, and he was really tall, and very attractive. And now he's on facebook, and it scares me.
It scares me because he has been married for as long as I've been dating Gene, and he has three children. He's 26. He is 26 years old and he has three children. My mother was 28 when she had me, and I'm her firstborn. I'm going to be 25 in a few months and children are no one in my very near future. I keep saying that I'm surrounded by babies and weddings, but this one freaks me out like no other... because in some weird universe, that could have been me. In all honesty, there's no reason why this guy and I broke up other than we never saw each other. And he made me pay for our first (and only) date. We dated for a total of 9 months. He's the only person I dated more than once (three times) and each time for 3 months.
When did I get so OLD that my exes are engaged and getting married??
Recently, I've started to find exes of mine on facebook. We all know how well things went with The Ex. My first ex, who is actually a great guy and we broke up because of bad timing. I was 14, he was 15, neither of us drove, and we lived 40 minutes away from one another which is an ETERNITY when you're a freshman in high school. He was the cousin of one of my neighbors, and he was really tall, and very attractive. And now he's on facebook, and it scares me.
It scares me because he has been married for as long as I've been dating Gene, and he has three children. He's 26. He is 26 years old and he has three children. My mother was 28 when she had me, and I'm her firstborn. I'm going to be 25 in a few months and children are no one in my very near future. I keep saying that I'm surrounded by babies and weddings, but this one freaks me out like no other... because in some weird universe, that could have been me. In all honesty, there's no reason why this guy and I broke up other than we never saw each other. And he made me pay for our first (and only) date. We dated for a total of 9 months. He's the only person I dated more than once (three times) and each time for 3 months.
When did I get so OLD that my exes are engaged and getting married??
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
More Joys of Homeownership
Since Gene and I have a house now, and not a one bedroom leaky piece of crap apartment, we're slowing trying to update our furniture. I hijacked my mother's dining set in favor of the 5+ years old Walmart special that I had in college, and last year for Christmas, Daddy Dearest bought Gene and me a couch (well, gift certificate to a furniture store, not so much the couch itself)
This year for Christmas (yes, I realize it's now the end of March) Daddy Dearest gave us VISA gift cards instead of a gift cert to a particular furniture store, since so many stores were going out of business. We haven't done anything yet.
Today I went to a few furniture stores to brows TV console stands... because at the moment we have a Target black particle board special. It's functional, and it works for the most part, but it looks cheap, and I'd like to have wood, or looks like actual wood and not luan veneer. Two store had a few reasonably priced pieces, but for the most part it was all over $1000. For a TV console. Not a full entertainment center with many many shelving units, just a TV console.
Why is it that people will pay this much money? Do Thomasville and Bassett and all of these high end stores come and clean your house for you? I understand that a nice piece of furniture is an investment, and that it will last years and years... but I just feel like I'm being completely taken advantage of. Plus as soon as these sales people discovered that I'm doing my homework pre-purchase, they couldn't run away from me faster. I'm the only person in the store. One person when I told him that I was looking for TV consoles, and made it clear that I was doing preliminary shopping, just pointed. He just said "Oh, it's over there." and that was it. Now, at ULTA, I'm not on commission, but if someone who has never been in the store before can't find something, I walk them to it. Because that's good customer service. Just pointing? That's rude.
At the moment, I'm debated going to an unfinished furniture store and doing my own staining. I know how to stain. I think I did a damn fine job of staining (and schlacking) the tables in my parents' ex-restaurant. I'm a handy person. I know how to use powertools... and paint... and stain... and... stuff. It just annoys me when these places don't have any prices listed on their websites. It's why I went to two of the stores I did during my lunch break today, because they had nothing listed on their website as far as price goes. The unfinished furniture place has new stuff all the time, so it makes sense that they don't list prices... because their inventory is always changing.
Anyway... if I decide to do a DIY staining marathon, I'll let you know. I'm all about doing things yourself, especially if you know what you're getting yourself into. I love watching the trading spaces and DIY shows because most of the time these people have NO CLUE what they're doing, and it ends up looking half-assed. Mine won't look like that, right?
This year for Christmas (yes, I realize it's now the end of March) Daddy Dearest gave us VISA gift cards instead of a gift cert to a particular furniture store, since so many stores were going out of business. We haven't done anything yet.
Today I went to a few furniture stores to brows TV console stands... because at the moment we have a Target black particle board special. It's functional, and it works for the most part, but it looks cheap, and I'd like to have wood, or looks like actual wood and not luan veneer. Two store had a few reasonably priced pieces, but for the most part it was all over $1000. For a TV console. Not a full entertainment center with many many shelving units, just a TV console.
Why is it that people will pay this much money? Do Thomasville and Bassett and all of these high end stores come and clean your house for you? I understand that a nice piece of furniture is an investment, and that it will last years and years... but I just feel like I'm being completely taken advantage of. Plus as soon as these sales people discovered that I'm doing my homework pre-purchase, they couldn't run away from me faster. I'm the only person in the store. One person when I told him that I was looking for TV consoles, and made it clear that I was doing preliminary shopping, just pointed. He just said "Oh, it's over there." and that was it. Now, at ULTA, I'm not on commission, but if someone who has never been in the store before can't find something, I walk them to it. Because that's good customer service. Just pointing? That's rude.
At the moment, I'm debated going to an unfinished furniture store and doing my own staining. I know how to stain. I think I did a damn fine job of staining (and schlacking) the tables in my parents' ex-restaurant. I'm a handy person. I know how to use powertools... and paint... and stain... and... stuff. It just annoys me when these places don't have any prices listed on their websites. It's why I went to two of the stores I did during my lunch break today, because they had nothing listed on their website as far as price goes. The unfinished furniture place has new stuff all the time, so it makes sense that they don't list prices... because their inventory is always changing.
Anyway... if I decide to do a DIY staining marathon, I'll let you know. I'm all about doing things yourself, especially if you know what you're getting yourself into. I love watching the trading spaces and DIY shows because most of the time these people have NO CLUE what they're doing, and it ends up looking half-assed. Mine won't look like that, right?
Monday, March 16, 2009
The Magical Radio Faerie
Yes, I spell "fairy" like "faerie."
One of my responsibilities at the station is to write, produce, and put in commercials. Oftentimes, they will come fully produced from an outside production company. The email correspondance that I had between myself and one of our clients was hilarious.
Client (on Wednesday): We should have the spot to you by Thursday. We had some production issues, but it should be fine tomorrow.
Client (on Thursday): Sorry, we're still waiting for the spot to be reproduced again. Is it all right if it is slightly over :60?
Me: No. It really needs to be right at :60 because our station is set up for :30 and :60 only. If we get a spot that is :65, it will get cut off.
Client (on Friday at 4:35): Here's the spot! Sorry for the delay!
I'm relieved, because it's late on a Friday, and I already have to stay later than usual because I'm having someone come in to record a commericial at 5:00. I upload the commercial to our program, I'm about to label it, when I notice something that I am convinced is wrong. There's no way that it says that.
There's no way that this commercial that I told this woman cannot be over :60 under any circumstances is 2:06.
It is. It's TWO MINUTES AND SIX SECONDS LONG. And I listen to it... and it's horribly produced!! I call the account executive and I'm panicking because it needs to run this weekend. And he says "Well, just cut it." JUST CUT IT? It's a FULLY PRODUCED SPOT. I can't JUST CUT IT. But I manage to do it. I'm not sure exactly how, but I manage to cut a 2:06 spot down to :59.
I don't know why these people think that I can perform miracles. They really must believe in the existance of the Production Faerie. The Production Faerie comes down and makes everything they want possible.
One of my responsibilities at the station is to write, produce, and put in commercials. Oftentimes, they will come fully produced from an outside production company. The email correspondance that I had between myself and one of our clients was hilarious.
Client (on Wednesday): We should have the spot to you by Thursday. We had some production issues, but it should be fine tomorrow.
Client (on Thursday): Sorry, we're still waiting for the spot to be reproduced again. Is it all right if it is slightly over :60?
Me: No. It really needs to be right at :60 because our station is set up for :30 and :60 only. If we get a spot that is :65, it will get cut off.
Client (on Friday at 4:35): Here's the spot! Sorry for the delay!
I'm relieved, because it's late on a Friday, and I already have to stay later than usual because I'm having someone come in to record a commericial at 5:00. I upload the commercial to our program, I'm about to label it, when I notice something that I am convinced is wrong. There's no way that it says that.
There's no way that this commercial that I told this woman cannot be over :60 under any circumstances is 2:06.
It is. It's TWO MINUTES AND SIX SECONDS LONG. And I listen to it... and it's horribly produced!! I call the account executive and I'm panicking because it needs to run this weekend. And he says "Well, just cut it." JUST CUT IT? It's a FULLY PRODUCED SPOT. I can't JUST CUT IT. But I manage to do it. I'm not sure exactly how, but I manage to cut a 2:06 spot down to :59.
I don't know why these people think that I can perform miracles. They really must believe in the existance of the Production Faerie. The Production Faerie comes down and makes everything they want possible.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Welcome to my home. You must be Crazy.
I think everyone has that one person in their life that makes their skin boil. For me it's The Ex... and I've never met Gene's, until last night. He has this ex-girlfriend, and we're just going to call her Crazy. I've heard a lot about Crazy, but I've never actually met her. She grew up in the neighborhood we live in now, and her parents still live here. Gene was completely infatuated with her from when he was 14 until he was about 25? They dated for a while, but this girl could get Gene to do anything.
Crazy is very manipulative, and very needy. She needs to be reassured all the time. And she gets that reassurance by cheating on her significant other constantly. Which is fine, you know, some people have very low self esteem and need that kind of physical contact. I'm not judging her there. I have my fair share of compulsive cheaters who are my friends.
I'm judging the belligerant drunkeness that had her shove her face against our door at 1am yesterday and say "I see you bitches on the couch! HELLO!! Aw, C'mon!!!" and then she went away. Crazy didn't even give us the chance to get off the couch and open the door. Why I was awake at 1am I'm not quite sure, especially since it's 7am now and I'm about to go to work. But that's not the point. The point is Crazy knows where we live... and she pressed her face against my door. And then proceeded to scream my name (not Gene's name... my name...) all the way down the neighborhood until, we assume, she got to her mother's house.
Gene was half tempted to march down to her mothers and rip her a new one, but that would be feeding into it. Gene's basically cut Crazy off since he met me. He hasn't spoken to her in 5 years, and we did not attend her wedding last year. He's erased all numbers for her, and he's changed his email address. She hasn't really gone out of her way to get in touch with him either though...only when she needs something from him does she talk to him or try to talk to him. I'm just a little disturbed, though, that this insane belligerant drunk A. knows where I live, B. knows my name, and C. had the nerve to violate my space! On what planet is this acceptable behavior?
Crazy is very manipulative, and very needy. She needs to be reassured all the time. And she gets that reassurance by cheating on her significant other constantly. Which is fine, you know, some people have very low self esteem and need that kind of physical contact. I'm not judging her there. I have my fair share of compulsive cheaters who are my friends.
I'm judging the belligerant drunkeness that had her shove her face against our door at 1am yesterday and say "I see you bitches on the couch! HELLO!! Aw, C'mon!!!" and then she went away. Crazy didn't even give us the chance to get off the couch and open the door. Why I was awake at 1am I'm not quite sure, especially since it's 7am now and I'm about to go to work. But that's not the point. The point is Crazy knows where we live... and she pressed her face against my door. And then proceeded to scream my name (not Gene's name... my name...) all the way down the neighborhood until, we assume, she got to her mother's house.
Gene was half tempted to march down to her mothers and rip her a new one, but that would be feeding into it. Gene's basically cut Crazy off since he met me. He hasn't spoken to her in 5 years, and we did not attend her wedding last year. He's erased all numbers for her, and he's changed his email address. She hasn't really gone out of her way to get in touch with him either though...only when she needs something from him does she talk to him or try to talk to him. I'm just a little disturbed, though, that this insane belligerant drunk A. knows where I live, B. knows my name, and C. had the nerve to violate my space! On what planet is this acceptable behavior?
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Totally Awkward Tuesday
I'm participating in Tova's Totally Awkward Tuesdays again... and I think I have a good one this time.
I've briefly discussed this before... but my parents are not married. Daddy Dearest had an affair with a coworker a few years back, and was leading a bit of a double life for about six months that we know of. That year where my parents were still "together" but my father needed to "figure things out" was a very hard time for everyone. My mom went pretty crazy... my sister became the parent (she had to deal with other crazy stuff besides our mother also)... and I went a little nuts also. But that's a totally different story. About two years after we found out about the other woman, my dad springs on the kids (on Easter Sunday) that he's getting married. In Vegas. Mind you... we haven't met his new significant other yet. He didn't ask, and neither did we.
When my dad told me, he also asked me to go with him to Vegas. But the kicker is that the wedding was in two weeks and I only had about 5 days to make this decision because they needed to book the plane tickets. I have to admit that I almost went for a very selfish reason... I love poker. And I've never been to Vegas. But Gene made a very good point. He said to me, "You shouldn't have to be the one to tell her how pretty she looks in her dress. Do you think you're emotionally ready for that?" And I wasn't. I wasn't even emotionally ready to meet the woman, but I told my dad that before they left for Vegas... that I wanted to meet her. My brother went with me.
The four of us went to this Italian family style restaurant called Maggiano's. OUr server is a male, and he looks slightly familiar. My dad recognized him immediately.. and didn't say a damn word. My brother on the other hand can't just let anything go, and he keeps going on and on about who this person is, why does he look so familiar, etc. Finally, when our server comes back, my brother says "Didn't you used to work at TGI Fridays with my mom?" Of course he did. Of course our server knows exactly who we are and didn't say anything.
The conversation that ensued between my dad, my brother, and our server was one of the most uncomfortable things in my life.
Brother: Didn't you used to work at Fridays?
Server: Yes, I did... why?
Brother: I'm Joanie's son... I used to bus there and do door.
Server: Oh! That's why you look so familiar. How are you guys.
Daddy Dearest (very short): We're fine, thanks.
Server: How's your mom doing?
Me: She's good... she's still at Fridays. You should stop in and see her.
Server: I will. (he looks at the other woman) So is this...like...your aunt?
Daddy Dearest (even more short): No. She isn't. Joan and I haven't been together for a long time now.
Server: Oh... well... I'll be right back!
And then he ran away. And he immediately called one of my mom's friends at Fridays. I was literally biting the inside of my cheek so that I wouldn't start hysterical laughing. You could tell that my dad was upset because his entire face was beet red, but his nostrils were white. You don't want to mess with my father when he looks like that. Poor other woman and her abnormally large butt was pretty embarassed as well... it was so funny.
My dad has been with this woman for four almost five years... and in my entire life, I've only seen her for a grand total of maybe five times. Ever. She's MARRIED to my dad.
I've briefly discussed this before... but my parents are not married. Daddy Dearest had an affair with a coworker a few years back, and was leading a bit of a double life for about six months that we know of. That year where my parents were still "together" but my father needed to "figure things out" was a very hard time for everyone. My mom went pretty crazy... my sister became the parent (she had to deal with other crazy stuff besides our mother also)... and I went a little nuts also. But that's a totally different story. About two years after we found out about the other woman, my dad springs on the kids (on Easter Sunday) that he's getting married. In Vegas. Mind you... we haven't met his new significant other yet. He didn't ask, and neither did we.
When my dad told me, he also asked me to go with him to Vegas. But the kicker is that the wedding was in two weeks and I only had about 5 days to make this decision because they needed to book the plane tickets. I have to admit that I almost went for a very selfish reason... I love poker. And I've never been to Vegas. But Gene made a very good point. He said to me, "You shouldn't have to be the one to tell her how pretty she looks in her dress. Do you think you're emotionally ready for that?" And I wasn't. I wasn't even emotionally ready to meet the woman, but I told my dad that before they left for Vegas... that I wanted to meet her. My brother went with me.
The four of us went to this Italian family style restaurant called Maggiano's. OUr server is a male, and he looks slightly familiar. My dad recognized him immediately.. and didn't say a damn word. My brother on the other hand can't just let anything go, and he keeps going on and on about who this person is, why does he look so familiar, etc. Finally, when our server comes back, my brother says "Didn't you used to work at TGI Fridays with my mom?" Of course he did. Of course our server knows exactly who we are and didn't say anything.
The conversation that ensued between my dad, my brother, and our server was one of the most uncomfortable things in my life.
Brother: Didn't you used to work at Fridays?
Server: Yes, I did... why?
Brother: I'm Joanie's son... I used to bus there and do door.
Server: Oh! That's why you look so familiar. How are you guys.
Daddy Dearest (very short): We're fine, thanks.
Server: How's your mom doing?
Me: She's good... she's still at Fridays. You should stop in and see her.
Server: I will. (he looks at the other woman) So is this...like...your aunt?
Daddy Dearest (even more short): No. She isn't. Joan and I haven't been together for a long time now.
Server: Oh... well... I'll be right back!
And then he ran away. And he immediately called one of my mom's friends at Fridays. I was literally biting the inside of my cheek so that I wouldn't start hysterical laughing. You could tell that my dad was upset because his entire face was beet red, but his nostrils were white. You don't want to mess with my father when he looks like that. Poor other woman and her abnormally large butt was pretty embarassed as well... it was so funny.
My dad has been with this woman for four almost five years... and in my entire life, I've only seen her for a grand total of maybe five times. Ever. She's MARRIED to my dad.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Peel off my face, please.
One of the reasons that I really like working for ULTA is gratis. aka free makeup for no good reason. Well, there is a reason... so I'll use it and sell it to other people. Most of the time, it's a lip gloss or a mascara. I have finally gotten myself down from six mascaras to three... but LORAC just came out with a new mascara, and I may get that one as well. The best piece of gratis I've received so far (which I have talked before)was from Clarins, which is a skincare company. Most of the time, we don't get anything from the skincare companies... but they're starting to be a bit better with their gratis giving.
Last week, I got a hand cream that you aren't allowed to apply more than three times per 24 hour period (doesn't that scare you? It says: Do not exceed three applications per 24 hour period. It doesn't say WHY though). Yesterday... I received a chemical peel. An at-home chemical peel. I wasn't aware that A. you could do these at home and B. that you should do these at home. without professional supervision. It's a 5-day peel from Kinerase (the Instant Radiance Facial Peel) and I did day 1 yesterday. They come in these pre-packed amounts, and they have this little wand, and from waht I understand... you take the little wand...and you smear the sand-like yellow stuff all over your face. It doesn't really sting or anything, nor does it smell weird, and until I woke up this morning I wasn't aware that it did anything. You're also not allowed to rinse it off...just apply, and walk away. So if you do it during the day...you have weird yellow sand all over your face... and if you do it at night, then you have the possibility of having it get all over your sheets.
I did notice a considerable difference in my face when I woke up. I'm much "dewier" than I was before. Shiny isn't a good work...because I'm not oily...I'm dewy. I guess I'm just supposed to continue to do it at night? That seems to be the best time? The only thing that worries me is that when you apply it... since you aren't lying down on a table and having someone else apply it... gravity makes the yellow sand stuff fall into the sink, and all over your shirt. Maybe I'm doing it wrong? I don't know. If anyone has used this stuff... and you're laughing because clearly this stunod doesn't know what she's doing... please let me know.
There is one company that I so wish would just give us prestige girls their product, but it's hella expensive and I know that it will never happen. ULTA just started carrying the Clarisonic. And if you don't know what this is, ohmygodit'swonderful. Whenever it's on QVC, I drool. It's on my amazon list.. and I know I'll never get it... but it's there so that I can stare at it and drool at it's wonderfulness.
It's basically an electronic toothbrush but for your face... and it makes whatever face wash you use become amazing and wonderful. It exfoliates without ripping your skin... and it' the best thing ever invented. Ever. And I want. But I'm not paying $195 for it. Even with my discount, it's still $147. Just imagine my philosophy Purity Made Simple with the Clarisonic. It would be so wonderful. One of the makeup artists with Paula Dorf swears by it. Paula Dorf actually bought it for her for Christmas one year, and when she saw that we were carrying Clarisonic, she got all kinds of excited because now she can get her replacement heads with us.
Last week, I got a hand cream that you aren't allowed to apply more than three times per 24 hour period (doesn't that scare you? It says: Do not exceed three applications per 24 hour period. It doesn't say WHY though). Yesterday... I received a chemical peel. An at-home chemical peel. I wasn't aware that A. you could do these at home and B. that you should do these at home. without professional supervision. It's a 5-day peel from Kinerase (the Instant Radiance Facial Peel) and I did day 1 yesterday. They come in these pre-packed amounts, and they have this little wand, and from waht I understand... you take the little wand...and you smear the sand-like yellow stuff all over your face. It doesn't really sting or anything, nor does it smell weird, and until I woke up this morning I wasn't aware that it did anything. You're also not allowed to rinse it off...just apply, and walk away. So if you do it during the day...you have weird yellow sand all over your face... and if you do it at night, then you have the possibility of having it get all over your sheets.
I did notice a considerable difference in my face when I woke up. I'm much "dewier" than I was before. Shiny isn't a good work...because I'm not oily...I'm dewy. I guess I'm just supposed to continue to do it at night? That seems to be the best time? The only thing that worries me is that when you apply it... since you aren't lying down on a table and having someone else apply it... gravity makes the yellow sand stuff fall into the sink, and all over your shirt. Maybe I'm doing it wrong? I don't know. If anyone has used this stuff... and you're laughing because clearly this stunod doesn't know what she's doing... please let me know.
There is one company that I so wish would just give us prestige girls their product, but it's hella expensive and I know that it will never happen. ULTA just started carrying the Clarisonic. And if you don't know what this is, ohmygodit'swonderful. Whenever it's on QVC, I drool. It's on my amazon list.. and I know I'll never get it... but it's there so that I can stare at it and drool at it's wonderfulness.
It's basically an electronic toothbrush but for your face... and it makes whatever face wash you use become amazing and wonderful. It exfoliates without ripping your skin... and it' the best thing ever invented. Ever. And I want. But I'm not paying $195 for it. Even with my discount, it's still $147. Just imagine my philosophy Purity Made Simple with the Clarisonic. It would be so wonderful. One of the makeup artists with Paula Dorf swears by it. Paula Dorf actually bought it for her for Christmas one year, and when she saw that we were carrying Clarisonic, she got all kinds of excited because now she can get her replacement heads with us.
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