Oh the lengths we go to...

Now that the wedding crazy is upon me (three weddings, seven days. Doesn't that sound the tagline of a really bad romcom?) I have to do my preparations.

I'm not an everyday shaver by any means, but before big events? I absolutely am shaving every day. Because I don't like pantyhose. Especially when it's 80 degrees out. Tonight's wedding I'm not too worried about. It's family... so it's people I see all the time... I just slap on a little makeup, put on a cute dress, and I'm a winner.

But tomorrow? Tomorrow is with a bunch of people I haven't seen in three years. Tomorrow is with the people I competed with for four years of my life. Tomorrow I have to spend the day with my ex roommate who is blonde hair, blue eyes, skinniest person I know (without looking sick) and giant knockers. Oh yeah, and she's a regular character on a soap opera. And her and I were always up for the same roles in school, we always had class together, we were scene partners a lot of the time...so there's always been this quiet rivalry. Not that we'd wish that the other would fall on her face onstage, but it wouldn't hurt.

Don't get me wrong, I'm happy she's successful and everything, but it puts more pressure on me (or rather, I put more pressure on me) to look awesome. I wanted to wear the red dress that I made, except it's still not finished. I still need to do some handstitching up the back and along the shoulders and do the hem, and that's it. It's mostly done. It'll be done for wedding #3 which is next Saturday.

The plan so far is... get out of work at 4:50 (good luck with that...) rush home, restraighten my hair, put it in velcro rollers. Shave my legs again. Put my face on, take out velcro rollers, put dress on, run out the door, and hope we make it to the ceremony on time. We might just have to go to the reception. The wedding on Saturday isn't until 2pm, so even if I oversleep and wakeup at noon I'm still all right.

Tonight dress: gold, cream, electric blue, and brown, in swirly shapes in a horrid polyester spandex somethingy blend fabric, but it looks awesome on. Low plunging neckline (so the girls are happy) and it falls just below the knee. Shoes: my BCBG brown pointy pumps.

Tomorrow dress: white with purple and blue flowers in a slightly June Cleaver cut, but bustier. Shoes: green strappy heels from ATL.

Step one: New Voice Teacher

In the world of musical theatre, it's imperative to keep ones voice in shape, which I have not. I haven't sung out loud in front of people in over three years. And it definitely shows. So I called up a local vocal coach who was recommended by a friend who works in the industry, and had my first lesson about an hour ago. It went all right... not the best lesson I've had... but that's understandable with the shape that my voice is in.

I basically need to go to a vocal boot camp between now and June 8th (the date of my audition) if I think that I'm going to be in any shape to do this right and get cast. We picked out possibly two songs, not the two songs I originally planned on singing. But Not For Me by George Gershwin from various shows he's done, and from The Roar of the Greasepaint, The Smell of the Crowd, Nothing Can Stop Me Now! The Gershwin song I'm very familiar with, I've worked on it before, so it's comfortable. The other song I've never heard before in my LIFE but it is a great song.

The strangest thing about this lesson? I heard the six words that I dread hearing: I really think you're a soprano. I've categorized myself as a BELTER forever. My first two voice teachers were convinced that I was a soprano... and I fought it with everything I have. The teacher that I had the longest agreed with me that I was an alto, a belter, possibly a mezzo. Even the musical director from college (weasel that he was) was convinced that I was a soprano. He even told my best friend, who is a coloratura soprano (so ridiculously high it could break glass) that SHE is an alto and I am a soprano. We laughed at him for years over that comment.

But now I'm questioning. What if I am really a soprano, and I've been fighting it for so long, and now I've screwed my voice? I think that if I work hard over the next two weeks (and see if I can find instrumentals of these songs somewhere) I can improve my voice enough so that it's back in good shape again. But we'll see. I'm still terrified of this audition. Why do I do these things to myself?

World's Worst Break Up

No, not Gene and I... we're just fine. This is something from a long time ago.

Back when I was a freshman in high school, I was dating a junior. I got to go to the prom as a freshman, and I thought I was the coolest thing ever. This guy was very attractive...and very weird. He now has a spike protruding from his chin and other metal appendages. We had this routine. 6h Period, I had Health class...and I sat in the very back of the room, which was adjacent from the boys bathroom. He was in I think History, and he would get the hall pass, slip a note in my locker, and then wave to me on his way to the restroom.

On that fateful day... he didn't use the hallpass. In the three months (which is like years in high school time) we dated, that was the only day that he didn't wave to me from the hall. I knew something was horribly wrong. And there wasn't a note in my locker. Instead, this one girl that I did drama with whom I didn't really get along that well with handed me a sealed envelope with my name on it, and told her that my ex (not The Ex) had given it to her in the hallway. He was no where to be found. He left school after 6th period, because he had 7th and 8th period study halls and juniors and seniors are allowed to leave school if that happens.

The letter inside was, looking back, the funniest break up letter I've ever received. I was so distraught over the whole thing that I burnt the letter when I got home. I really wish I still had it for blackmail purposes. He gave me every single excuse for breakup that I could think of:

It's not you it's me.

You deserve so much better.

I just don't know how to love.

I think you're smothering me and I need to feel free this summer.

You need someone who knows how to love you.

And my personal favorite: MY PARENTS ARE GETTING A DIVORCE AND I JUST CAN'T BE IN A RELATIONSHIP RIGHT NOW. And then he added, "please don't say anything to my sister... she doesn't know."

Seriously? Your parents are getting a divorce and that's why we can't date? It's a bit backwards and sounds like he needs some serious therapy. At the time, I didn't really understand the divorce thing because my parents were "happily" married (HA! they're divorced now). But it seemed very backwards to want to stop having a relationship because of that.

I don't mean for it to sound like I'm mocking divorce. I'm not. I'm mocking the fact that this guy made up his parents divorce to feel better about dumping me. That's right...his parents are still married. And I didn't say anything to his sister. I was loyal. I wonder what she would think though. I did talk to her that night, and despite the fact that we weren't really friends, she made me feel better about everything.

I found out later (ironically from The Ex) that he broke up with me because he was going to Norway for the summer (where his father is from) and he intended to fool around with girls over there. The Ex actually convinced my Norweigan Prince to break up with me... because this gem of a human being wasn't going to break up with me. He said since it was a different country, it didn't count. What a loser.

What is the worst excuse you've ever received for a breakup? I have yet to find one that I think is funnier than "My parents are getting a divorce."

Beauty Perks

One of the reasons I keep my ULTA job is because I work in prestige (read: fancy schmancy 'spensive makeup) we often get gratis from the vendors. Most of my gratis is Bare Escentuals and Paula Dorf (Love. Paula. Dorf.). We rarely get any skin care stuff because skin care stuff is much more expensive than a lip gloss or a mascara.

The only skincare I've received until this point was Dermalogica, because ULTA now does Dermalogica facials... so Dermalogica wanted to make sure that we knew what we were talking about. The other day, we finally got a vendor for DermaDoctor, which we also recently started carrying. And we got two gratis products from them: full-size (yay!) of their pore minimizer, and a trial-size (but still about 1.0 oz) of their glycolic facial wash. Now. I'm a dry-skin girl. It's probably more dehydration than anything else, but stuff that is meant to dry the skin is not for me. But, this pore minimizer is awesome! I've used it for a few days now... it tingles when it first goes on (2x a day) but so far my skin isn't dry at all.

I used the glycolic facial wash this morning... and my skin is super soft. But that could also be from the Vitamin C lactic acid mask I got from Murad (I love my job sometiems). My skin has never been this soft before, except when I was a kid. You can usually feel the dryness (and see the dryness) and right now, it's just supple awesomeness. That's right...supple awesomeness.

Between this and my new favorite foundation, Smashbox Halo Mineral Powder, I have the best skin of my life. Generally, I wear no foundation. Because whether I wear a liquid, a cream, a mineral, or a power, you can see the flakiness of my nose. I haven't had that with Halo yet... and someone yesterday actually said to me "Well you don't have any foundation on" which is the best compliment ever. Because that's how you know that you're foundation is doing it's job--if you can't see it at all. You shouldn't be able to see the foundation mask. Nothing irks me more than the teenagers who wear foundation 2 shades too dark, or bronzer all over their entire face (that's not where bronzer goes, sweetie)... or just as bad as the women who wear foundation two shades too light. I actually had a middle eastern woman one time tell me that she wanted to have the foundation I wore. Not the brand. The color. I have Irish background. My skin is practically clear. I burn if I think of the sun. I matched her perfectly, it she said it was too dark. When I put a really (really) light foundation on her, she liked that.

I don't understand this at all! Why are some women so adamant that they wear the wrong shade of foundation? It just makes you look dumb. Makeup shouldn't look like makeup. Makeup is all about illusion... it's meant to perfect the features you already have. Can someone explain this phenomenon to me? Why women insist on wearing the wrong (and horrible looking) foundation shades?

Musical Update

The reason that they can't say the name of the show is apparently because another very well respected theatre in the area is also doing it, and their show closes July 19th. So they can officially announce it July 20th. But it isn't a big secret. The problem? It is not a show for me. There is only one female character, and I am not tall, blonde, nor do I have giganto boobs. Nor am I sexy on-stage. (and that is not to sound down on myself. There's a reason I'll never be cast as the sex pot, and actually cast as her super smart and nerdy little sister)

BUT!!! There's another theatre around here (that is paid... because it's a dinner theatre) that is doing THOROUGHLY MODERN MILLIE. THAT is a me show. I can sing the crap out of that show. So. I'm working on something for that audition which is on June 8th. Definitely more to come on that. Also, I auditioned for this theatre in the past when they were doing Chicago, and I was called back for Roxie. So I KNOW that I can get a callback. I wasn't in the show at all... but the problem with me in Chicago is that I can play Roxie, or I can play Roxie. This face ain't a Merry Murderess. The thing with this theatre is that their casting call is AEA and Non-Equity will be seen as time permits. And they generally cast AEA for leads. So chances are that I'll just be in the chorus. But ya never know. I'm still gonna sing and dance my ass off.

At the moment, I'm thinking about probably using "I Got Rhythm" for an audition piece or "Astonishing" from Little Women. The first because it's similar in style to songs from the show, and the latter because it was originally performed by Sutton Foster who played Millie in the Original Revival Cast of the show a few years ago. Both are songs I've worked on in the past, so I'm comfortable with either. I still feel like I'm having a panic attack about it, though.

What if I've forgotten how to sing and act at the same time?

I might be crazy. I didn't want to do any theatre this summer at all, because it took my life last summer. And I like my life. But there's this community theatre down here (yes, community theatre, but they do some pretty good stuff) that I have an "in" at... and my "in" is directing. And the auditions are May 30th. But they won't tell me what show.

So I may or may not have (that means I did) emailed his wife and said I wasn't asking her what show her husband was directing, but if I decided to audition... do I want to prepare something Kander and Ebb/Stephen Sondheim-y? Loud, low, and belty? Or do I want to prepare something Rodgers and Hammerstein/puppies and rainbows-y? Pretty sounding ballady about how awesome love is until your husband beats you up? (that's from Carousel, in case you were wondering).

AND! Later in the year... this place is doing RENT. I love RENT. I can sing the crap out of RENT. Hi, community theatre in Delaware, meet your new Maureen. Please?

I know I'm probably going to regret this. I think. Oh, God, someone help me.

When you're the best of friends...

My ultra geeky Maryland Sheep and Wool festival was a lot of fun. I was actually a little nervous that it was going to be a nightmare. I was not looking forward to waking up at 5am to drive for two hours, but it ended up being very nice! And I procured some nice yarn... felt some YAK YARN (which by the way is the softest yarn I've ever felt IN MY ENTIRE LIFE... and also ultra expensive), and I talked myself out of learning how to spin my own yarn. Because I think this hobby is slowly growing into an obsession.

But enough about yarn and knitting.

I had one of the most awkward experiences ever the other day. And while it isn't Totally Awkward Tuesday by Tova Darling, I'm sharing it anyway.

I went to see my little sister's musical... and one of the people I used to be very close to was there. She and I basically haven't really spoken in about 8 years. We've recently come back into contact, but she still doesn't get that she significantly hurt me in high school. More on that later. We all go to Applebee's after the show (it's tradition... they know we're coming) and this girl, her fiance, her brother, and our mutual friend Mandy are all there. So Mandy says to me "Oh my gosh, I have to tell you! You'll really appreciate this." She goes on to tell me about how her friend (with whom she had a similar falling out) that she hasn't said a single word to in 8 years called her up, told her about how much their friendship met, yadda yadda yadda, will you sing at my wedding?

I almost fell out of my chair. Mainly the girl that I hadn't been speaking to asked me to sing at her wedding. And i said yes because I don't know how to say no.. and because we were really close... and I do really miss her. Mandy adds that it's funny in her situation because she and her friend hadn't worked things out the way that my friend and I had. Except that we really haven't. Because she's never apologized for being a horrible friend. It took all of my will power not to start laughing at the irony of it all.

Now my "friend" is pulling the poor little me act and saying "did you really hate me that much?" And no, I didn't... I was just really really hurt. Because here I am, trying so hard to stay friends with this person who would rather spend time with other people. I called her when my high school boyfriend and I finally broke up, and she hung up on me. I think I'm quite justified in not speaking to her for almost four years. I'm such a coward though, because I can't call her up and say "This is why I was so mad at you for so long." When I tried explaining it 8 years ago, she laughed at me. And now it all seems so trivial and stupid, that I've just decided to not let it bother me anymore.

It doesn't help that both Gene and my two best friends despise this girl... think I shouldn't sing at her wedding... and think that I should just stop speaking to her again. But I still miss her...

I'm so much nerdier than I thought...

I spent my evening last night with a bunch of lovely knitting ladies at our LYS (local yarn store) for a Potluck. My LYS has a potluck every second Tuesday of every month... but yesterday was a special occasion. Yesterday, we had Ysolda Teague at our shop! She's a designer of GORGEOUS sweaters and little stuffed animals. And apparently hates socks.

She was absolutely lovely... and I had such a wonderful time. It was my first potluck (and I made TRIPLE CHOCOLATE COOKIES and they were delicious) and hopefully the first of many. Ysolda was the first designer that I've met... I haven't made any of her sweaters YET, but there are at least four on my list (Vivian, Snow White, Matilda Jane, Coraline, and probably Through the Keyhole. I like the Little Bird sweater, but I think it might be a bit advanced for me yet). All of her sweaters you can see on her blog (which is linked above) as well as her other patterns. Since I've only made two sweaters... I'm sure I'll get around to Ysolda's sooner or later. I have three in the works at the moment (Wrenna from French Girl Knits, The ZickZack Tunic in Interweave Magazine Spring 2009, and Little Blue Sweater from Interweave Magazine Fall 2008). I haven't fully committed to LBS... and may instead do the Vivian... but we'll see. I keep finding that I'm making sweaters after I've seen people I know make them. Because then I'm like "OH THAT'S PRETTY! I NEED THAT!"

Tomorrow... is the start of the Maryland Sheep and Wool Festival. Sounds like a grand time, right? Gene thinks I'm going to come home smelling of sheep poo. We (and by we, I certainly do not mean Gene and myself... I mean the knitting group and myself) are leaving at 6am... and since I've never been, I have no idea what to expect. But am super excited!

Apparently yarn and knitting is another thing to add to my nerdy nerdy list. I am also a theatre nerd... an X-Men nerd... a book nerd... a cooking nerd... and a tea snob. I'm sure my friends are all so proud.