When you're the best of friends...

My ultra geeky Maryland Sheep and Wool festival was a lot of fun. I was actually a little nervous that it was going to be a nightmare. I was not looking forward to waking up at 5am to drive for two hours, but it ended up being very nice! And I procured some nice yarn... felt some YAK YARN (which by the way is the softest yarn I've ever felt IN MY ENTIRE LIFE... and also ultra expensive), and I talked myself out of learning how to spin my own yarn. Because I think this hobby is slowly growing into an obsession.

But enough about yarn and knitting.

I had one of the most awkward experiences ever the other day. And while it isn't Totally Awkward Tuesday by Tova Darling, I'm sharing it anyway.

I went to see my little sister's musical... and one of the people I used to be very close to was there. She and I basically haven't really spoken in about 8 years. We've recently come back into contact, but she still doesn't get that she significantly hurt me in high school. More on that later. We all go to Applebee's after the show (it's tradition... they know we're coming) and this girl, her fiance, her brother, and our mutual friend Mandy are all there. So Mandy says to me "Oh my gosh, I have to tell you! You'll really appreciate this." She goes on to tell me about how her friend (with whom she had a similar falling out) that she hasn't said a single word to in 8 years called her up, told her about how much their friendship met, yadda yadda yadda, will you sing at my wedding?

I almost fell out of my chair. Mainly the girl that I hadn't been speaking to asked me to sing at her wedding. And i said yes because I don't know how to say no.. and because we were really close... and I do really miss her. Mandy adds that it's funny in her situation because she and her friend hadn't worked things out the way that my friend and I had. Except that we really haven't. Because she's never apologized for being a horrible friend. It took all of my will power not to start laughing at the irony of it all.

Now my "friend" is pulling the poor little me act and saying "did you really hate me that much?" And no, I didn't... I was just really really hurt. Because here I am, trying so hard to stay friends with this person who would rather spend time with other people. I called her when my high school boyfriend and I finally broke up, and she hung up on me. I think I'm quite justified in not speaking to her for almost four years. I'm such a coward though, because I can't call her up and say "This is why I was so mad at you for so long." When I tried explaining it 8 years ago, she laughed at me. And now it all seems so trivial and stupid, that I've just decided to not let it bother me anymore.

It doesn't help that both Gene and my two best friends despise this girl... think I shouldn't sing at her wedding... and think that I should just stop speaking to her again. But I still miss her...