Funny how things change...

This weekend (and by weekend, I mean Monday.. but I was on vacation, so it was still my weekend) I got to reconnect with someone I've been friends with for over ten years (and when we figured that out... we simultaneously groaned OH MY GOD WE'RE SO OLD). She always moves far away. She went to undergrad in Florida... and grad school in D.C. where she's been living for the past few years, and while D.C. is much closer than Florida (to me anyway) we still don't see each other quite as often as we'd like.

But getting together with her really made me realize how much I missed her. It's also made me realize how much we've both changed. We used to have this routine in the summers. Go swimming in her pool, go to the mall, eat at Friendly's, go to VS and absolutely buy the 5 for $25 underwear, then go back into pool, turn on hot tub, watch silly movies. Yesterday, however, we went into the pool (and now I'm SO sunburnt), went to the mall... realized Friendly's no longer exists (the horror!), got ice cream at Cold Stone Creamery instead, went to VS... and hated everything in there, and then we parted ways. I had to get home to make dinner. It was so funny because we're still the same basic people, and our friendship still works, but we've definitely changed.

When we drove to the mall, we took the long way (to avoid tolls... I didn't have easy pass with me) and went by this road that we used to go on in high school. The road is supposedly haunted, and there's supposed to be this coven that does all kinds of weird stuff. Now... I studied Wicca for a while (found it fascinating) and I also read Tarot, and this "haunted road" was just a road. But that didn't mean that it didn't scare the bejesus out of me. And when we crossed over it... it just brought me right back to all of the stupid shit I did in high school. The one night we did go there... we did get run off of the road and someone followed us for about 2 miles until we turn onto a different road, hence the terrified part.

The whole day just had me really missing those friendships that I had in high school. Out of all of the people I was close to, I only talk to two people. The friend I hung out with, and my best friend that I've known since I was 6. That's it. All of these friendships that I thought I'd have forever... gone. And I know that I'm better off... all of the friendships I have now are really strong. They're the people I'd call if I needed to hide the body, you know? The other people would say they'd help me, but call the police so that when I went to pick my friend up, the cops would be waiting. But that still doesn't mean that I don't sometimes miss those people... and wish that they could have been better friends.

Also, unrelated, I've almost finished watching season 1 of True Blood... DAMN that show is good. And for my lunch today, I'm going to Borders and I'm going to buy the first book. I do love me some vampires. No vampire can come close in my book to Edward Cullen, but Sookie seems way more interesting than whiny Bella Swan. Maybe if Sookie and Edward got together...that would be awesome.

Jesus loves my boobs.

Week one of the wedding crazy was a heck of a lot of fun. Wedding #1 was, well, interesting. Outdoor wedding.. we got rained on. The grooms family was, um, loud and outspoken at inappropriate times. Like during the first dance. But the bride and groom looked wonderful, and they had a good time, and that's what counts. And it isn't a wedding without some kind of family drama anyway!

Wedding #2 (my friend's wedding) was absolutely wonderful. Every girl sobbed like a baby during the ceremony. My friend's father passed away from brain cancer about six? years ago, so it was bittersweet. But I lightened up the ceremony by dropping the Eucharist down my dress, so it's all good. I think it took all of the willpower of the bride to not cackle with laughter from the front of the Church.

At the reception, my friend danced a tribute to her deceased father with her brother to an aria from an Opera that she prerecorded. It was an aria that her father (who was an Opera singer) always wanted to hear her perform. Again.. much crying. I'm amazed that my mascara wasn't all over my lips by the end of the night. And that my friends is why I only wear Smashbox mascara. Also... I had FIVE (yeah. five.) cosmopolitans... and I wasn't drunk. I have no idea how that happened. And one of my friends (who is a bit of a lush) had a sip of it after I told her that it was my fifth one and said "Jesus! That is really strong!! How is this your fifth and you're still standing! You're doing really good."

This wedding made me really miss my college friends. They all live in New York City, and I rarely get to see them... but damn do we know how to have a good time!! My legs hurt really bad now from all the dancing. I even got Gene to dance! (well, I convinced the mother of the bride to guilt him into dancing with me... worked like a charm!)

And I really know how to get the party started... one of my friends who is, um, energetic and very expressive in his dancing accidentally PUNCHED ME IN THE FACE. Luckily no black eye. I kicked him in the balls later in the evening. And again, weddings wouldn't be weddings without the drama... one of my friends left in the middle of the reception for no good reason... just disappeared, and another one of my friends broke her dress while doing air guitar.

One really good thing came out of the evening though. I finally decided which song to use for my audition next Monday. The bride and groom's first show together (theatre people ALWAYS have a blast... they did a little skit coming in to introduce the bride and groom to musical songs rather than the music for the starting lineup of the 1996 Chicago Bulls) was Crazy For You, which was the show we did our senior year. And the one song I was thinking of performing is "But Not For Me" which is also from that show. During the course of the evening, "Crazy For You" came up about four times. So that settles it... "But Not For Me" it is. I got a lot of support from my friends when I told them I was thinking of auditioning again, so hopefully this will work out. I mean, I'm not expecting to walk in there and be cast as Millie in Thoroughly Modern Millie, but hey... it wouldn't hurt!

When you're the best of friends...

My ultra geeky Maryland Sheep and Wool festival was a lot of fun. I was actually a little nervous that it was going to be a nightmare. I was not looking forward to waking up at 5am to drive for two hours, but it ended up being very nice! And I procured some nice yarn... felt some YAK YARN (which by the way is the softest yarn I've ever felt IN MY ENTIRE LIFE... and also ultra expensive), and I talked myself out of learning how to spin my own yarn. Because I think this hobby is slowly growing into an obsession.

But enough about yarn and knitting.

I had one of the most awkward experiences ever the other day. And while it isn't Totally Awkward Tuesday by Tova Darling, I'm sharing it anyway.

I went to see my little sister's musical... and one of the people I used to be very close to was there. She and I basically haven't really spoken in about 8 years. We've recently come back into contact, but she still doesn't get that she significantly hurt me in high school. More on that later. We all go to Applebee's after the show (it's tradition... they know we're coming) and this girl, her fiance, her brother, and our mutual friend Mandy are all there. So Mandy says to me "Oh my gosh, I have to tell you! You'll really appreciate this." She goes on to tell me about how her friend (with whom she had a similar falling out) that she hasn't said a single word to in 8 years called her up, told her about how much their friendship met, yadda yadda yadda, will you sing at my wedding?

I almost fell out of my chair. Mainly the girl that I hadn't been speaking to asked me to sing at her wedding. And i said yes because I don't know how to say no.. and because we were really close... and I do really miss her. Mandy adds that it's funny in her situation because she and her friend hadn't worked things out the way that my friend and I had. Except that we really haven't. Because she's never apologized for being a horrible friend. It took all of my will power not to start laughing at the irony of it all.

Now my "friend" is pulling the poor little me act and saying "did you really hate me that much?" And no, I didn't... I was just really really hurt. Because here I am, trying so hard to stay friends with this person who would rather spend time with other people. I called her when my high school boyfriend and I finally broke up, and she hung up on me. I think I'm quite justified in not speaking to her for almost four years. I'm such a coward though, because I can't call her up and say "This is why I was so mad at you for so long." When I tried explaining it 8 years ago, she laughed at me. And now it all seems so trivial and stupid, that I've just decided to not let it bother me anymore.

It doesn't help that both Gene and my two best friends despise this girl... think I shouldn't sing at her wedding... and think that I should just stop speaking to her again. But I still miss her...

The Chocolate Cake Man

I've been a bit absent and distracted lately. A very good friend of mine that I've played poker with almost every weekend for the past two years passed away last week. I can't remember if I've talked about my poker shenanigans, but Gene and I are poker players... and we have a group of about 20+ that we get together with and play at various friends' houses on Saturday nights. We spend holidays with these people, and in a weird way we're a (very dysfunctional) family. Gene and I are the youngest in our group by about 10 years... and these people really helped me a lot when I moved to Delaware and had literally no friends. All of my friends were still in college, in NYC, or in LA... so I was very alone in this tiny state. Most of our poker locations are in Jersey and around an hour and a half away, which I know is crazy, but I really love these people and would do a lot for them.

Gene and I carpooled with our friend Rich (whom we all called the chocolate cake man) and his fiancee Deb, because they were from Delaware as well. We'd take turns driving, we'd talk about baseball, and we got very close with these two over the past two years. Spending four hours every weekend in a car will do that. The four of us actually dressed as a group for Halloween last year. Rich was Fred Flintstone. He had a lot going for him right now. He had three beautiful little boys. Gene and I recently went to go see Clone Wars with Rich and his boys. The movie was GOD AWFUL, but we had fun because of the company. We were able to laugh at how BAD it was together. I got roped into it because I thought we were going to see the Counting Crows. Clone Wars is not the same as the Counting Crows (In my defense, that same day, the Counting Crows and Maroon 5 were playing in Camden... and Rich was a HUGE Maroon 5 fan. And Gene and I LURVE the Counting Crows. And we had talked about going together. It's a simple mistake, right?). Rich and Deb had just gotten engaged.. and they recently set a date. December 5th. And Rich had just bought Deb tickets for the final game at Texas Stadium in Dallas to see The Cowboys. They're both Cowboys fans. You know that he was a good friend if Gene and I, rabid Eagles fans, can spend a lot of time with a Cowboys fan. Who was a Mets fan to boot.

I really miss him. And I'm sorry that this post is a bit sad, but it's helping me to talk about it. It's really funny, because if someone had said to me a month ago that Rich was going to have a heart attack, I would be sad. I had no idea it would affect me like this. It took every ounce of strength I had in me on Thursday when Deb called me to not vomit. I went to work on Friday... and was a complete zombie. I couldn't cover the receptionist desk because I was afraid I was going to break down and just sob. I've been a lot better lately... although I did have a lapse at lunch. When my grandmother died, I often still talked to her. But I couldn't still talk to Rich. I did for the first time today. I also erased him from my cell phone, which was really hard. I know it's really stupid that it got me so upset, but it did. It was as if by erasing him from my phone, I would forget him.

On Saturday, all of our group (the Quorum as we call ourselves) got together to have an honorary game. Rich would have been pissed if something he did caused us not to play--pissed at himself for messing up everyone's evening. So we dealt him in, we all said some really nice stuff (and told some funny funny stories.. like the time he got arrested and the group had to bail him out of jail for running a stop sign...and having an outstanding speeding ticket he forgot existed). Rich won the tournament. Instead of giving money for 1st, 2nd, 3rd, etc.. we collected all the money and bought flowers for the service, which is tomorrow. I called the florist a few hours ago, and we are getting a lot of really nice flowers for the guy. I feel like there should be something else that I should do, but I can't imagine what.

Rich was a guy who when you first met him, he bugged the hell out of you. He was stubborn, and abrasive, and loud. And he loved you with everything that he knew how. Once you got through that bold personality, he was such a teddy bear...who gave the best hugs. He'd do whatever you needed to do. When Gene and I almost got one singular World Series ticket the day that we had Eagles tickets, Rich offered to drive to Philly (from Maryland) pick me up from the stadium, and take me home. We didn't ask. He and Deb called Gene and I "The Kids." And the guy was always good for a really nice chocolate cake. I could really use a piece now...