The numbers game.

My father is a strange fellow. I've seldom spoken of Daddy Dearest, and it's usually when he has done something asinine, which is more often than I'm sure he's willing to admit.

This weekend, I'm driving to my dad's (after hijacking a minivan) and dropping off the unfinished TV stand I bought last year. You remember.... I had those great plans of staining and putting it together all by myself!!! Not so much. So Daddy Dearest is going to do it. Let's hope he doesn't put it together backwards like he did to the bar that is in my house now...which I fixed.

It was supposed to be a lovely little weekend. Gzilla and I would get up early for his radio show, we would have lunch, then go to Daddy Dearest's house, have dinner, come home. But no. Daddy Dearest can't leave it at that. He bought four tickets to see The Lion King, which is a really cool show for the record.

The second the words "So my dad got us tickets to see the musical..." came out of my mouth, Gzilla was already saying "no way in hell you cannot pay me enough." So I had to LIE to my father and say that he was busy (Gzilla not liking Lion King is not answer enough). So instead I'm kidnapping my friend and we're going with my dad to the theatre.

This is not the first time Daddy Dearest has pulled something where he just buys things without stopping to think if A. it's practical or B. anyone is available. My first concert was to Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young. There are 5 members of my immediate family (parents, two siblings, me). My dad? Bought 6 tickets. Because he liked the number 6 better. So I got to bring a friend because my dad is sometimes an idiot.

I can stop anytime I want to

I think I might have a slight game addiciton. A coworker of mine teased me about buying a PS3 when I already have an X-Box 360 and a Wii. But! The PS3 dropped the price so new ones are only $299, and I won a $200 gift card courtesy of Clever Girl Goes Blog and Gzilla had a $100 gift card to the Evil Store of Evil. After stalking said evil store for two weeks (after taunting me with boxes in the back that were spoken for) we finally found one!!

So I bought Final Fantasy XIII for the PS3, despite already having it for the 360. Before you say "but Recovering Actor, that's really stupid." it's prettier on the PS3 and my work husband is buying my 360 version from me. So there. I just have to start over. I did, however, learn something very important. If you skip all the scenes and just do the battle part the second time through, it goes A LOT faster!!! I am already 5+ hours in, and only played for half that time. The beginning of the game is a LOT of cut scenes. I was 14+ hours in... so I still have a ways to go until I'm back to where I was before.

I've always been a fan of video games, though. I got my first Nintendo for my 6th birthday from my parents... and fell in love with Mario. In fact, I exclusively play Mario games on the Wii. Mario games and old skool Nintendo/Sega games. That's it. When I was 7, my dad put this game called Cosmo on the computer. It was a platform game with this little dinosaur guy? I beat the game in 2 days. Seven years old. I also beat Duke Nukem and Super Mario Brothers that same year.

But today??? I'm wearing both of my wrist braces. I don't have carpal tunnel, but it acts like carpal tunnel? I have a laxity in my joints. I have slutty joints. And when I overuse my wrists they act up (like when I handwrite a lot). Maybe I overdid it with the gaming? Or it could be the socks I'm knitting. Either way...ow.

A Lasting Impression

Warning: not for the weak of stomach.

Last night I met some of the friends who live in my computer. Some knitterly friends. Fiber friendly-if you will. We went to a very popular dipping-encouraged restaurant, just 3 of us, and it's something I've been excited about all week.

I made the reservation at 8... we all go in and sit down.. and we get all four courses at the place. The first course is always my favorite, because it's cheese. And I love cheese. Especially melty cheese. We're all getting along, laughing, and talking about the crazy things that have happened lately. We're taking goofy pictures.. everything is wonderful.

I didn't really want to get a salad, but I also didn't want to be the only one who didn't get one? So I get the caesar salad because I've had it before and it comes with toasted pine nuts which are AMAZING. Lettuce was kinda wilted and soggy. Tasted funny. Didn't think of it.

Dinner course. We split two entrees to cut on cost since this place is 'SPENSIVE. One of the girls is allergic to fish, so we cook the fish last, but we're all still laughing and having a great time. Then I start to feel funky. Kinda woozy. So I stopped eating. Sometimes that happens to me when I'm eating out and it's really rich food... my stomach just can't take a lot of it so I have to just calm done for a bit. Also I wanted to make sure that I could eat dessert, because it's always delicious.

The Dessert course (chocolate.. with Grand Marnier in it) is where things got bad. As soon as I ate my first banana (the ONLY fruit I am allowed to have without going into anaphylactic shock) I knew I was going to have problems. So I run to the bathroom, and get sick. A lot of sick. Kind of felt better, but just felt really weak. In fact, I still feel kinda weak, and my stomach still feels really sore. But I've only had the one incident, so I know it isn't food poisoning and I'm pretty sure it isn't the stomach flu that's been going around because I wouldn't be able to keep down water. The only thing I can think of is that damned salad. One of the other ladies got the caesar, but didn't use dressing because she's allergic to fish, and there are anchovies in caesar dressing. So I'm the ONLY one who ate the caesar dressing.

But what a way to make a first impression on people you've never met before, right? Just vomit during dinner. They'll love you forever. Sigh.

The Work Husband

I was talking my work husband the other day (one of them...I have three....I'm a slutty work wife) and all kinds of hurtful, I suppose, hidden things came up. I don't know how, but I always end up becoming the relationship therapist at work. I guess I have a trusting face? Which is really funny, because I can be a real bitch.

This time though, I opened up. My work husband and I were talking about music, and I learned that he plays the piano, which really surprised me. I can't play to save my life. I can read music. I know what notes are what on the piano, but put sheet music in front of me and ask me to play? I will fail. Miserably. Anyway. Piano reminds me of my ex. Not The Ex, but my ex before Gzilla. I really thought that this guy and I were IT. He wrote me a song for Valentine's Day (I know, swoon, right?) and then slept with someone else. And didn't have the balls to tell me himself... he broke up with me instead because he felt guilty.

And I told my work husband all of this. No one at work knows this stuff. But why is it that this guy I feel safe telling this stuff to? And there are certainly things that I know about him that I don't think a lot of people know. It's nice to know that there's someone that if I'm having a problem, I know that I can say "WHAT THE HELL" to, and there's no judgement. Just a third party view and an "I know your pain."

I do have three work husbands though. Each of them serves a different purpose. My original work husband is my gay work husband. And I'm his straight work wife. We pick on each other, but know that there's love. My second work husband and I watch all the same TV shows, so we discuss LOST at great detail as well as How I Met Your Mother and The Big Bang Theory. But mostly LOST. What's funny about him is that I had never even heard the term "work husband" or "work wife" until his ACTUAL wife introduced me to her sister as the "work wife." Anyone else have work husbands? (Gidget, the Grouper doesn't count... as he is your ACTUAL husband.)

It's like it knows...

You know when you have a lot of stuff going on... and you have to push through it no matter how tired or worn out you are... and then you stop for a second, and get a wicked cold?

Yeah. Thanks, body. Thanks for that.

I took a mental health day off on Tuesday. I mean, I did have 8 hours of comp time left over from the big project that took over my life last month (which paid off, BTW) so I decided that since I haven't had a day off in a month (I. hate. Saturday. morning. meetings.) Tuesday was perfect.

Gzilla woke me up because he forgot that I wasn't going to work, but I still managed to go back to sleep at wake up at 10:30!!! I was super excited. But then I swallowed, and it felt like daggers. And then I started sneezing. And now I'm sick.

My body used to do this all the time when I was in theatre. I'd be healthy the entire time during rehearsal, during the run of the show, and then immediately following strike (taking the set/costumes/lights apart) I'd contract the plague. I know it's my body's way of telling me to slow down, but I don't wanna! That's not how I function!

And I have so much to do this weekend! I have fun dinner Friday night with new knitting friends, and on Saturday I have fun baby showerlike outings with my friend from work!! AND Saturday morning after my final 8am meeting, I'm supposed to play volleyball for charity. I don't have time for this.

The Evil Store of Evil

I think I may have mentioned that I'm a big ol' nerd. The nerdiest of my nerdyisms is my love for the Final Fantasy series. Love. But since we've given up Sony in favor of Microsft (bye bye Playstation, hello X-Box 360) my hopes of Final Fantasy were over. Except that the newest FF game, Final Fantasy XIII has been released to both systems.

I've been toying with getting it... decided I was going to wait until I could get it used. And then Gzilla wanted to go to the mall to use up some gift certificates from Christmas (meanwhile mine have been gone since January 15...) so I changed my mind. Then I NEEDED it. After consulting with Final Fantasy experts (my brother, facebook, and my cousin) I decided it was necessary.

Then I saw it. Pre-Owned PS3 for $280. When the PS3 came out, it started at $500. I nearly squeed out loud. I told Gzilla after we left the store... we called my brother who said that new systems go for $300 so just get a new one. So we do. We go back to the Evil Store of Evil and ask the guy for a PS3. I was even going to exchange FF13 for the PS3 version (which has 4 hours more content. No, that's not a lot of content, but it's more content, okay? And FF was designed for Playstation.)

"Well, I have seven systems in the back... but they're all reserved. So. I can't give any to you."

Why, universe? Why are you spoiling my impulse buying of a gaming system I really don't need BUT WANT? Plus? It's a blu-ray player. That was the biggest check in the "pro" column. And why does the store guy have to tell me that he has 7 of them, and no I can't have any neener-neener-neener? It's just evil! See! Evil Store of Evil!!

Now Gzilla doesn't even want to get one. He says that it's the universe's way of telling us not to get it (which is bullshit. He's never said any of that granola crap before) but that if we REALLY want it in a few months... we can get it then. But I want to play FF13 NOW on a PS3 damnit!!! I was really disappointed.. and I pouted.. but I opened my game and I played it before bed last night. And you know what? It looks like a movie.

We're going to play a little game.

It's called "What movies haven't I seen?" I never win this game. There are A LOT of movies that I haven't seen... and everytime I tell people I haven't seen said movie I get open-mouths, "ZOMG YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THAT? YOU HAVE TO" and other various responses.

This all started because one of my coworkers was quoting "The Lost Boys" after learning that Corey Haim died. Which I've never seen. And I got yelled at. So here are all the movies that I haven't seen that I do plan on watching at some point in time! It should be said that it's entirely possible that I DID see these movies when I was little, and just don't remember.

The Lost Boys
The Goonies (I have seen pieces of this)
A Christmas Story (which at this point I just refuse to watch)
It's a Wonderful Life
The Big Lebowski
Funny Face (despite being a HUGE Audrey fan)
The Nun's Story (see above.)
Ghostbusters (I'm pretty sure I have seen this. I just don't remember it. And it's Gzilla's favorite movie)
Big
Shawshank Redemption
City Slickers
Fatal Attraction
Dark Crystal saw it a few months ago
Silence of the Lambs saw it a few weeks ago...
Joe Versus the Volcano
Mighty Aphrodite
Saving Private Ryan
Good Will Hunting
Soap

Any others I should add to the list? Am I alone on all of these? I feel like I'm always the one who says "Yeah.... I haven't seen that movie..."

The Fundamental Problem

It's been a good few months since my last wedding freakout. I think it happens every 3-4 months where I get really down on myself and the whole situation and it boils over. This was a really big one. And it was the night of my best friend's birthday party. We were about an hour late, and I LIED TO HER and said that I had fallen asleep. I felt so guilty, but I couldn't dump what was really going on at her birthday party. I called her the next day to tell her everything.

It's not that something HAPPENED that sent me off the deep end. Nothing did happen. A friend I hadn't seen in a while gave me the "and when are you two finally getting married" dig... to which I responded "Oh, I'm not getting married." And honestly, that's how I feel most of the time. Not that I don't want to get married, it's that I really don't see it every happening. Ever. Genezilla (I'm trying it out. We'll see how it feels) really doesn't like weddings. It's not the marriage part that terrifies him, it's the wedding part. The expense, all the people, having to schmooze... all of it.

He told me that weddings are fake, and that he no longer believes in marriage. Both of our best friends and my parents are divorced. But we have so many friends who are happily married... and his parents are happily married. I'm really trying to understand. I'm also trying not to get upset. I know that the expense terrifies him, which is why I just want to elope. I did want to have a party afterwards, but he really doesn't, so no party afterwards I suppose. And this is if anything even happens. Honestly, I don't know where my breaking point is going to be, but I know that I have one. The one thing I don't want is for him to propose/marry me just to keep me happy, so I'm not depressed. I want him to do it because he wants to. I didn't think that was such a hard thing to ask. But I've pretty much completely lost hope. I used to be able to picture getting married... now I can't.

The thing that cracks me up is that he wants to have kids. But doesn't want kids without being married. Um. There's a bit of a contradiction there, buddy. What I think is really going on? I know that he talked about looking at rings with our really good friend. Two weeks later, he had a heart attack and passed away. He was getting remarried in a month. That was a year and a half ago. There are still moments when I miss The Chocolate Cake Man. Baseball season is hard without him... poker is hard without him... every time I hear Maroon 5, his favorite band, it stings a bit. Though what's funny is every time we play poker with our friends, the first song we hear on the ride home is a Maroon 5 song. Every time.

Genezilla keeps saying all the right things. That he loves me, and he wants to be married to me, he just doesn't want to GET married. And that if he could fix the way he feels, he would... but that he doesn't know where it came from or how to fix it. Never does he make me feel like it's something to do with me... but I can't help feeling that way. How else am I supposed to feel? When the person I've spent the last seven years with says that he doesn't want to marry me, but it has nothing to do with ME. It's nothing that I did. I don't want to leave. I really don't. And if one more person tells me that I'm wasting my time with Genezilla, or that he's damaged and I should get out while I can, or that I need to just get rid of him... I'm going to lose my shit. My manager the other day told me the reason he won't marry me is because he won't buy the cow since he's getting the milk for free. Way to make me feel bad about myself. I don't need any help with that... I do just fine all by myself.

Unrelated: my radio station is playing "Ghostbusters" right now, and it's made my entire day.

I didn't suck!

After a bit of a driving snafu (big accident on the main highway.... right at the exit ramp I needed) and getting there 30 minutes late (but traffic!) everything went fairly smoothly. There were only 2 other makeup artists there, and a LOT of models and a LOT of photographers, so I was going to be so busy, right?

Not so much. One makeup artist in the back (who was set up where the models were changing) was being a little bitch. I was told to set up in there, and he told me to leave. When I asked if he needed any help with the giant line he had in there, he said No, he can handle it. Fine. So I sat out with the photographers and made friends. When my friend who was running the event asked me why I wasn't in the other room, he pulled people out of there for me to work on (take that! ha!) And then he came out to check out the competition I guess? But he was acting like a total diva. I didn't like him. I was going to introduce myself, but decided it wasn't worth it.

The one girl that I did the most work on looked great. She kept saying "I don't wear a lot of makeup, I don't want a lot" but I had to keep explaining to her that if I don't put makeup on her, she's going to look washed out in the pictures. The photographer loved what I did, so that's really my concern. Yes, I want the model to be comfortable, but I want the pictures to turn out nicely. I haven't received any of the shots (and even if I did, I don't know if I'm legally allowed to post them anyway). But I've made like 4 contacts! I've already started talking to one photographer about a future shoot... one asked me if I do weddings (yes, please--that's what I want to do! I am more than great with brides. especially ones who are freaking out. I'm so good at putting out fires and distraction. I'd make one HELL of a wedding planner).

Note to self: get business cards (whoops.) and set up an online portfolio to send to said new contacts.

I hope I don't suck. Or that I feel like I'm trapped in "Fame."

I'm still a good 6ish hours away from this makeup event this tonight... and for serious I'm still terrified. I heard back from a few of my favorite artists, and I feel LESS terrified, but still terrified. I still have the foundation problem. Still not sure what to do about that. But I'm stopping by a few key places on my lunch break so I can get a few necessities from my kit:

* black gel eye liner (I have green, brown, and blue... no black. Go figure.)
* mascara (still have to get mascara wands...)
* matte bronzer
* this really awesome concealer that is the best: Paula Dorf Special Camouflage Concealer. It's peach & yellow, and you custom mix it. I've actually wanted to get it forever. I lurves it.
* eye makeup remover (BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE ANY! HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?)
* Q tips, cotton pads, tissues, and preparation H (works to de-puff. magic secret. don't tell)

That's all the stuff that I don't already have. All my brushes are packed. I have all the lipsticks at my disposal (um. 3. I don't like lipstick. Whoops.) and a bunch of glosses. I might pick up one or two more just to have on hand? Maybe? My kit is mostly all put together... now I just have to wait. My friend Lisa, who is a makeup artist, said to me earlier, "Just act like you know exactly what you're doing...and you'll be just fine." It's nice to know that my friends in the industry are very encouraging and helpful. Ideally, I'll make some future bookings. What I would really love to do is weddings. But everytime I let someone I know who is getting married that I freelance, they say "Oh, well... I'm doing it myself." or "Oh, well... I was going to do to *this place.*" But I'm good! I promise! Hopefully now with a portfolio, I can say, "See? I'm good."

What do you mean I have to "build a kit?"

This amazing opportunity just fell into my lap. I'm one step closer to makeup artistry stardom! Okay, not really. BUT! I have this meeting? tomorrow with photographers, models, and other industry people for a "shoot out." It's all a win-win situation. Photographers get new models, stylists, and makeup artists. Models and stylists and makeup artists get pictures to build their portfolio. Contacts are made.

Problems:

1. I don't have business cards. Not even for the radio station.

2. I don't have a "kit." Not really. I have a crap-ton of makeup, don't get me wrong. But I don't have a kit. I have more eyeshadow than God. I have like four mascaras, a ton of eye liner. Lots of stuff! But. I don't have any foundation (kind of important for photography, don't you think?) or concealer for shades that aren't exactly my shade.

3. I'm SO NERVOUS

OMG. So I need to magically come up with uber amounts of foundation and concealer and stuff.... I don't know what to do. I am really worried that I'll look like a stooge. I think eventually I'm going to order foundation palettes from Cinema Secrets but they won't be here by tomorrow, so I'm not worrying about it at the moment. I've heard great things about Cinema Secrets on the professional level.

I'm going out tomorrow before the event to get the following:
* mascara
* mascara wands (NO IDEA WHERE TO GET THIS.)
* mass amounts of foundation? No idea.
* matte bronzer (I have 4 bronzers. Are any of them matte? Nope.)
* something makeup related that doesn't begin with the letter m
* lipstick palette? Does anyone even have any right now not in holiday season?

AH!! I'm so nervous. Maybe I should bring whiskey...

I'm surrounded.

I know that I'm at "that age" where everyone I know is getting married and having babies, but seriously. Stop. Last year, I had 8 weddings to go to, and half of those weddings either Gene or myself was in. This year? 6 babies. My cousin had a baby in September, one of my friends had a baby in February, my other friend is having a baby at the end of this month, my coworker is having a baby in April, and Gene's cousin is having a baby in... I forget. But her shower is this month, so I think maybe soon? I'm missing a baby. Oh, Gene's other cousin JUST had a baby. TOO MANY BABIES. I don't have enough time to make things for all these babies!!!

The September baby (who is super cute had needs a haircut at 6 months because he was born with a full head of hair and never lost ANY of it) was the receipient of my first baby sweater.



February baby (and I don't have pictures... I don't think.) got my last baby blanket. I'm done with baby blankets. They take TOO LONG. But a friend and I did this one together... it's a patchwork blanket that we made in bold colors (red, gold, brown, kelly green, blue, and purple). March baby is getting the sweater I worked on for Ravelympics (knitting challenge during the Olympics... begin and finish a project in that time)



And it has alphabet soup buttons!



I'm about half-way through another secret project for my coworker (don't know if she reads this, so... that's all I'm saying about that).

I can't keep up with these babies. I actually decided I'm not making anything for Gene's cousin, because I didn't make anything for any of his other cousins and since they're on the same side of the family, I don't want someone to feel hurt. I have so many other things I want to do! I want to make a sweater before I leave for Ireland. I still haven't finished Gene's Christmas sweater. I want do make a shawl, I'm taking a class on socks, and I have three sweaters-worth of yarn that is waiting to be made into something.

Last year I made a resolution to challenge myself in knitting. Do new things. And I did! I did a lot of firsts. My first sock (not pair of socks... sock.), my first cable project, my first sweater, my first non-blanket baby item, my first mittens. This year, I'm making a resolution (I know. It's March. whatever) to FINISH projects I start. I get so excited about other new projects that I get distracted. But if people I know would just stop having babies, then I would get a lot more done!

Also, unrelated. Gene wants me to change his name on my blog. Not that he has a problem with me using his name, but because he's jealous that Fidgeting Gidget has a nickname for her husband, The Grouper. So he wants me to call him Godzilla. Thoughts?