Wallstreet meets Mass Murder meets....Kicklines?

Recently I had a post venting about the absurdity of 9 to 5 becoming a musical. We have yet another atrocity to add to the list of bad musicals. The evil musical gods are taking one really good movie and making one of Christian Bale's creepiest and best known characters sing songs on stage in the limelight.

AMERICAN PSYCHO: THE MUSICAL?! Are you KIDDING me!!??? I found this gem piece of news from filmDrunk. The bad theatre that America has been exposed to lately is not only heart breaking to those of us who love good theatre, but it's really sad for everyone else. The people I feel the worst for are high school musical nerds who are just finding their niche in musical theatre, and they have to get exposed to this crap. American Psycho, 9 to 5, Cry Baby, Legally Blonde, and Movin' Up are just bad. When I was in high school and discovering that musicals were cool (because they are. They're super cool. Except West Side Story. No gang members I know pirouette.) I had things like Rent, Wicked, Urinetown, The Producers (you know, when Mel Brooks redid it), Aida, The Last Five Years, and the revival version of You're A Good Man Charlie Brown. When I was in high school, no one knew Sutton Foster's name but a select few, Kristin Chenoweth was still sort of up-and-coming, Idina Menzel was that chick from Rent... and now we have the Rent clone, Spring Awakening that everyone is gaga over.

Very rarely do I listen to new shows and think "I have to sing that song." The last musical I did that with was Avenue Q. Even Spamalot I LOVED but know damn well that no normal person can hit the kind of notes that Sara Ramirez does as the Lady of the Lake. All of my favorite shows were from the 90s, or old Kander & Ebb. Very rarely do I buy soundtracks of musicals anymore...except for Bklyn but it was Eden Espinosa, and she's amazing. I really wish that producers and writers and composers would stop trying to bring the "people" to Broadway by writing all this trendy crap. In twenty years, the revival of Movin' Out isn't winning any Tonys. But the revival of Oklahoma (which I do think is craptastic for the record) probably will. In ten, twenty years... the shows that will be revived are the ones that are always revived. The well-written ones by Rodgers and Hammerstein (gag), Kander & Ebb, Sondheim, Schwartz. These are going to keep coming back, because, uh, they were GOOD. God this upsets me. Just wait until we get Twilight the Musical. It's coming, I'm sure.

Look at me...I'm fashion forward!

I have a wedding to go to this weekend. Now me, being the twentysomething that I am, tend to go for flirty fun dresses that I wear, um, once and never can wear again. Never do I buy that dress that's classic and can totally wear all the time. I have to admit, I do not own a LBD. I should. It's probably some fashion sin to not have one. I always go to my staple stores: Boscovs, Kohls, NY & Company... and I'm always disappointed. It's either a bit to mature looking in the big girl section, or way too teenager-y in the junior section. I'm in that weird place where I still want to wear my screen tees and jeans.

I used to work for The Limited way back when in college (and by way back... I totally mean four years. It seems forever ago that I lived in the hispanic ghetto of Allentown with my David Elizabeth). At the time, I loved the clothes there.. and thought that they were really hip and whatever. Looking back on what I have left over from that store... what hasn't fallen apart I never wear anymore. And they were 'spensive!! I walked past that store in the mall yesterday, and couldn't believe the junk they had in the window in both Limited and Express. I just don't like those clothes anymore. The mall I went to I'm not crazy about, because the only stores that are age appropriate for me I feel are Macy's, which is out of the budget, Ann Taylor, which is out of the budget, Express, and Limited, which we already discussed is ugly.

I go into Ann Taylor and go straight to the sales rack, fully expecting to find potato sacks (since that was the trend...I don't know why. Shapeless dressed just make me look pregnant and not at all attractive). The sales associate was wonderful and picked out three dresses for me, one I hated, one I LOVED, and one I liked. The one I LOVED was $79.99 which was more than what I wanted to spend. But I tried it on, and it was the dress. It fit (almost) perfectly... I looked super cute. Like Jackie O. If I styled my hair right and had big glasses, I'd totally be Jackie O. The dress is very tailored and hits right below my knee (perfect length for me). It's royal blue with an oversized black belt that goes from the hip to the natural waist, and it's absolutely lovely. It was a little big in the back and chest area... but I'm having the shoulder seam taken up about half an inch and it's going to be wonderful. I would have just done the tailoring myself, but A. I didn't feel like busting out the sewing machine and finding color appropriate thread and B. Gene's mom does that stuff. So. It's all good. Best part of it... I decided that even though the dress was $79.99 and about twice over my budget, I'd do it because I would totally wear this dress forever instead of just once, because it's such a classic cut. And when we got to the cash wrap (can ya tell I've worked retail forever) it was $59.99! Bonus!

Jersey, Birthdays, and Missed Calls.

The other night I had a good ol' time with my cousin and her friends, none of whom I've ever met before. Most of them are college friends of hers, some are high school friends, but all of them are new people to me. I met some interesting people last night. A former roller-derby girl, who told me I should totally join the one that's in Delaware. I've always been intrigued by the roller-derby, mainly because I think I'm much more badass than I probably really am. I think I could totally rock at the roller-derby, but other people who know me just shake their head. Then there was the very sexually explorative friend of my cousin. I know WAY too much about her sex life right now. Most of my cousins college friends left fairly early. I spent the night (I was not driving to Delaware in the middle of the night from Jersey. Not happening) so I got to see all the interesting-ness.

At one point, the one really loud girl announced (after she said she was going home to work on 5 papers she had to right for the masters program she's in) that she's going to a strip club on South Street in Philly. If you aren't familiar with Philly....this isn't exactly the best neighborhood to go to, let alone at 2:30 in the morning. This particular strip club was an after-hours club, so it opened at 2 since that's when bars close in PA. Loud girl, sexually explorative girl, her boyfriend, my cousin's boyfriend's cousin, and his gay friend all went to this strip club... and they were all really surprised that me, my cousin, and her boyfriend weren't going. Um. It's a shady strip club on South Street. No. They all came back alive, so that's good... and some of them even got lap dances.

The next morning... I had my phone upstairs in my cousins room, and we were in the family room watching Dr. Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog... and I missed three calls from Col in Ireland. I was super upset. I saw this weird 12 or 13 digit number on my missed calls list and was like what the hell is that??? And I said to my cousin I swear if I missed a call from Colleen.. I'm going to cry. And I did. I was all fine... I have barely cried at all that my best friend left the freaking country. But I heard her voice, and totally burst into tears. It was so pathetic. I am 24 years old, and there is no reason that that should make me cry uncontrollably. My cousin had no idea what to do. On my way home, I had my iPod set to a playlist that I made for when I would drive to Philly to pick Col up (she doesn't drive. Doesn't have a license. She is also 24 years old. Feel free to mock, I do.) but I made it a long time ago. Like almost a year ago. I had been listening to it on my way to Jersey, so I figured I'd continue on my way back. First song that comes on was Maroon 5 Won't Go Home. You know. The one that starts "I asked her to stay...and she wouldn't listen..." Not helping the crying. The next song that came on was just as bad, but I can't think of it right now. That playlist? It sucks right now. I'm currently mad at my iPod. I did talk to her though. I went and bought a phone card at Happy Harry's for $10. It was 125 US minutes. Guess how many international minutes that is! 13. 13 minutes. $10 for 13 minutes. It hung up on her.

ETA: The songs... started out with Pictures of You by the Cure (I've been looking so long at these pictures of you that I almost believe that they're real... I've been staring so long at these pictures of you that I almost believe that the pictures are all I can feel) followed by Won't Go Home by Maroon 5... and ending with I Would Walk 500 Miles by The Proclaimers. Who are Scottish.

The Big Decision.

Gene and I have been together for 5 years. We've lived together for two going on 3 of those 5 years, and we own a house together. So... we always get "the question." You know what question I'm talking about. "So... when are you going to finally get married?" It isn't that we aren't ready--we are. We're very ready. We wouldn't have bought a house together if we weren't ready. We joke about getting married, we faux plan things, but nothing is ever concrete. So last night we had "the big discussion" and I think we came to "the big decision."

My family life is a mess. becklette knows all of the dirty details... the main things you need to know are:
A. my parents are divorced...and have been separated for about three years now.
B. my father is remarried to a woman i begrudgingly don't hate.
C. my sister won't meet her, nor does she like (read: she loathes) my mom's boyfriend, whom I happen to like.
D. we also have a lot of "if you don't invite this person, then I'm not coming." and "if you do invite this person, I'm not coming."

So. We decided that screw everyone else. This is about us, so we're going to make it (here's the shocker) about us. I think we 85% decided that we're going to take a few people (like 20ish) and just do it. No extended family... my father's family is kind of snobby anyway and I'm pretty sure they don't like me very much. Today I decided that I'm going to research quaint little places I can elope at that aren't Vegas (where my father was remarried. He's classy.) that are fairly close to Delaware. The other reason we decided we're eloping besides the family drama.... Gene hates weddings. They make him really anxious. He doesn't like being around large groups of people (unless it's a sports event, but he doesn't have to touch people at sporting events, or talk to all of them). Gene just likes to be left on his own... he just wants to hang out... he doesn't like being the center of attention. I don't want to make him have a big huge wedding just because it's what you're supposed to do. I don't care that's what you were supposed to do. I want to do it my way. So. I'm researching. And compiling lists of things like possible guest-ness, and possible places, and things.

I hate the internet. Hate. Much much hate.

My job makes me want to rip out every single hair on my head one by one. And not because people are making unreasonable requests (well, they are... especially the ones who want me to just take the music out. Um. That's impossible. But thanks for playing). Because the internet makes me want to cry. For the past almost week, Comcast has decided to mess with our internets. We have no email access through outlook (aka my life) and have very VERY limited internet connectibility. I hate Comcast. I hate them. They do this to us all of the time. And we? use the internet every single day for work. I can't access my internet music library without, uh, the internet. I can't download spots from the websites they're on without, uh, the internet. I can't email airchecks to the many many people I send airchecks to without, guess what, the internet. I'm going out of my mind here! If someone wants to threaten Comcast with bodily harm on my behalf, I'd really appreciate it. I really wish we could switch to Verizon Fios. Stupid Fios not being in this area. Stupid Verizon. I hate the internet...it sucks.

On a side note...any one know any food items (i.e. cookies mayhaps?) that would survive a flight to Ireland and not be stale and/or gross? I'm thinking of being a super good friend. The scarf I've been working on for the girl who left me for Ireland (stupid Ireland) is almost halfway done (yay!) and I have some other things to put in the box as well... but I was thinking of maybe cookies. Good idea? Bad idea? I don't know. I never shipped food overseas before.

Absurd Theatre Trend

Just because Hairspray made a decent musical from a movie doesn't mean every other cult anything should follow suit. I don't understand this theatre trend whatsoever. I don't think Legally Blonde makes a good musical... I think it has terrible music that is really contrived and it attempts to be funny and tongue and cheek and fails miserably. And I love Laura Bell Bundy.

I don't understand why Crybaby happened... or why Grease was made into a stage musical. It was a bad movie. And now Dolly Parton is writing the music for the 9 to 5 musical!?? Seriously!?? Why? 9 to 5 is a shitty movie! And an even worse poker hand. Some people should just not try to be "artistic" and try their hand and stage writing, stage acting, stage anything. Julia Roberts, I'm talking to you. You may at one time have been America's Sweetheart, but you don't have the chops to carry a serious play.

This is just an example of the latest trend in musical theatre. It isn't avant garde. It isn't new (really). It isn't good either. It's kind of like the trend for bands to have their music be the soundtrack of a musical. It worked for The Who's Tommy... and it kind of works for Mamma Mia! Mamma Mia! is at least a lot of fun. It's purely fluff, but it's a good time. Billy Joel on the other hand? I love Billy Joel... I think he's an incredibly talented pianist and a wonderful showman. He needs to stay away from the theatre. "Movin' Out" aka the Billy Joel Musical Revue... is terrible. Anthony, who works at that grocery store, should never ever be an actual character. It's bad enough we have stunt casting (Ashlee Simpson as Roxie in Chicago, anyone?) but now we have to have stunt composing as well? This is why Broadway sales are down, people. Because the quality of the theatre and the quality of the play itself sucks.

Also... no one wants to see Kate Holmesbot phone in Arthur Miller. That stunt casting? Epic. Fail.

Autumn Blues.

Thank God today is the primary. Thank God. The politicians will cool it for a bit. I gotta tell you, I hate the fall now. Autumn used to be my absoultely favorite month... filled with my favorite colors (deep orange, burgandy, brown, black, cream... all colors I love. And green. Can't forget fall green). And now autumn (every other year at least) makes me cringe because of demanding politicians who think they own my place of business. Politicians who call me late late late at night when I have either dinner plans, or my other job to get to, because they want to change their ad and run :30s instead of :60s, which PS is a bitch of a change. Politicians who aren't prepared to record their commercial, have never timed it, and are either 10 seconds to short or 15 seconds too long... and trying to explain to them that :30 means :30 and not :42 doesn't exactly work. But at least with today being the primary, things will slow down for maybe a week. And then we'll get the bloodbath again.

I'm trying to still be excited about autumn... and decorating. I'm redoing the garden outside of my house... because now it's just a weedy-weedy mess. I have to dig everything up basically and start from scratch. I went out last weekend (you know, during Hanna) and got some new window well covers. The homeowner before me had no desire to make the front of the house pretty... and she put black metal grates over the basement windows to keep out water. I also went to Michaels yesterday to get yarn and smaller knitting needles, and saw lots and lots of fun pretty fall decorations... which I think I'm going to make my house pretty for the fall. Possibly Halloween, I'm not sure. I have all kinds of things in my head. I don't know if I'm going to get any plants (i.e. mums) for fall... I'll probably plant stuff now for the spring. I'm definitely ordering tulips from www.tulipsagainsttumors.com which supports brain tumor awareness, research, and families affected by brain tumors. And I'll probably buy some other tulip bulbs elsewhere also. Anything else to plant I have no idea, so I'll probably go into Old Country Gardens (local nursery) and see what they say. Maybe I'll post pictures.