Friday, July 9, 2010

In which things don't go as planned...

Daddy Dearest and I met with the venue that I want for the reception this week. It's at a hotel that he used to work at YEARS ago (before my brother, who is now 22, was born), and there are still a few people who work there now that worked with my dad back then. Luckily for me, my dad is a bit of a charmer. We got A DEAL on the venue. It doesn't hurt that my dad knows catering and food prices better than anyone I know, so when he makes a counter offer, he knows its fair. They have to check the number with the big boss (who worked with my dad...) and she gets back from vacation on Tuesday. If we get what we want, then I'll be able to invite everyone from list #2 (the 180 list) and still have $87.

Originally, we wanted to get married on Sunday because a lot of reception venues will charge less for Fridays and Sundays. But the hotel gave us the price we wanted for that Saturday... so I called the church Monday morning. The church that we want (Gzilla's grandfather's church) was being a bit of a jerk about us getting married on Sunday. Now, I know that Sunday is the "day of rest" for Catholics. But we wouldn't have even considered a church wedding on a Sunday had a PASTOR of another parish not SUGGESTED IT! Because his church does Sunday weddings all the time! In fact, every parish in the diocese does Sunday weddings. Gzilla's aunt was married on a Sunday 42 years ago. But apparently not at this church.

I didn't tell the nun that we booked the hotel. I didn't! I know how to play the Catholics. I know the Catholic answers. I went to Catholic school from kindergarten to college. I have an aunt who is not only a nun but was a Mother Superior! And they asked her to be Mother General (that's head-honcho nun)! So I know how to play the Catholic Game. Apparently this crazy nun doesn't like to play this game. She's waiting for masses to be said in Latin again.

I call and she's on the defensive when I ask to speak with her. I say that I know that she and the church was hesitant about a wedding on a Sunday because... and she cuts me off and yells BECAUSE IT'S INAPPROPRIATE! Okay, easy there sister. Then she goes on to tell me that we really need to speak with the priest because it's ultimately his decision if we're "allowed" to get married in the church (even though she told FMIL that everything needs to go through her...). She also told FMIL that they need at least a year to book the date, but she told me that the schedule for 2011 wasn't finished yet. Um. It's July. If you need things at least a year in advance, what happens when people want to get married in February? Or anytime before right now?

My initial reaction was: The Catholics don't want me... screw 'em! We let it sit for a few days, and decided to try another church, which is really a shame because Gzilal really wanted this church. So if this crazy nun calls back next week, I'm going to tell her that she made me feel very unwelcome, and I'm not comfortable getting married somewhere that I'm not welcome. So I've decided to take my ceremony and my church membership elsewhere. I just hope that Gzilla's grandmother doesn't hate me now because I was mean to the nun, which I wasn't... but I'm sure this bitch will spin it differently.

I hate having to jump through hoops.


Fidgeting Gidget said...

That kinda crap is exactly why Grouper and I didn't get married in the Catholic church, even though he went to Catholic school and I was raised Catholic. We said we wanted to get married outdoors, Grouper's cousin is a priest, so we asked him to do it. He said he couldn't marry us outdoors because it was against the diocese rules to perform a wedding that didn't take place in a church. Um....what happened back in the day before churches were built? It's "against the rules" to get married outdoors, in the beautiful scenery that GOD created? Um, I don't buy it. We got married by a pastor of another church and still aren't married in the eyes of the Catholic church. Not only that, but my sister just got married in the Catholic church, and they wouldn't let her play certain music or light a unity candle because that was "extraneous" or "superfluous" or something. Ridiculous.

Jessica (Bayjb) said...

Oh Catholics. They are not the most flexible. Sorry to hear you had a bad experience. I agree that you shouldn't have to jump through hoops, it shouldn't be THAT hard.