The Best Voicemail Ever.

I just received a voice mail that was ALMOST the best voicemail ever. It's one of those voicemails where you listen to it... and you think "can this person REALLY speak like this to real people?" I haven't called him back yet, so I don't know if he really speaks like this to real people. And I'm hoping it reads as funny as it sounded.

Hello. My name is XX. I am an elderly person. I need a job. I need the number for ABC Company. I do not have a computer. I need a phone number. Goodbye.

It always amazes me that people think that because I work for a local radio station that I know every business and that I have all the time in the world to look up phone numbers for other businesses for you. That's what information is for. I'm not information. I write commercials. Now, I did happen to know what business he was talking about. And in the hour and a half it took me to get out of the meeting I was in, this gentleman called back FOUR TIMES. He kept harassing our receptionist!!! I swear to Pete, people make me crazy.

But that's not the best voicemail ever. The best voicemail ever was received by the box office at my college theatre back when I was a freshman or a sophomore.

Hello. This is XX. I need to speak with a real person. I keep calling and no one is there. I need to get my tickets. If a tree falls in the middle of the forest, and no one is there to hear it, how do I know if I get my tickets? Can I talk to a real person? I need to speak with a real person now. Hello?