Monday, July 26, 2010

...I look like Quasimodo.

I had this little pimple-like growth on the skin just under my eye. I thought it was a pimple, so I (very carefully) put pimple stuff on it. Nothing. Then I put some neosporin on it. Nothing. I had estheticians look at it... they had no idea. So then I called a dermatologist.

My dermatologist is not bad to look at (which is nice) but it took me almost a month to see him. By the time my first appointment came around (2 weeks ago) the hard, tender bump had shrunk considerably and was no longer tender (but still hard). He gave me this gel stuff to put on it... a steroid cream for eczema and flakiness... but if this was something inflammatory and not a growth, it would have gotten rid of it. I put it on twice a day (and developed a little stutter, but he says it wasn't caused by that. I disagree) and there was no change.

Today, Hot Doctor in the Phillies scrubs gave me two choices. He could freeze it and hope that it goes away and keep an eye on it forever. Or he can biopsy it. If he freezes it, and it doesn't go away, then he has to biopsy it anyway. I picked biopsy because I hate not knowing things. So now I look like Quasimodo.

My eye is all swollen. I can see out of it okay, but it feels very strange to blink. It's almost like I have a black eye without the broken blood vessels under the skin. Now he thinks it's one of two things: either an infected hair follicle or the C word. I hate the C word. I don't like thinking about it, and whenever the C word comes up around me (twice my gen prac thought I had breast cancer. Both times that I had to have a mammogram and an ultra sound, the technician laughed at my doctor's silliness.) it's the only thing I can think about. What happens if it is the C word. It's totally going to screw up my wedding pictures (I know. It's dumb to think that way, but would YOU want to be bald in your wedding photos? No. You wouldn't).

Right now I'm just focusing on the fact that I look like I lost a bar fight and go on with my day not thinking about the C word. But just in case, can you send good thoughts that it's NOT the C word anyway?


becklette said...

if it's the c-word, i am going to buy you a CRAZY high-end wig for your wedding. like, tyra is going to be jelus of your rockin' wig. promise.

Jessica (Bayjb) said...

Wow. I'm sorry to hear this is happening! I'm glad you got it looked at and are getting it taken care of. don't think about the C word yet, just take it one step at a time. And tell someone you did get in a bar fight. Tough!

Joanie M said...

It's not cancer, it's not cancer, please God, it can't be cancer.