Flashback to 1992

I haven't had my eyes checked since 2002, and even then...it was one of those "is the dot in the box, or out of the box" things. Not a full blown exam. I couldn't even tell you the last time I had a full blown eye exam. Probably 1995. That was the last time I wore glasses. I has glasses from 1992-1995. All of this stems back to being Gene's fault, again.

Gene was asking his friend about when he knew that he needed glasses. And his friend told Gene that it was when he told someone that when he drives, headlights look like stars. Now, this scared me a bit...because headlights have ALWAYS looked like stars to me at night. I thought that's how they were supposed to look since it was nighttime. Apparently not. Apparently they are supposed to be circles not fuzzy starbursty shapes. Oops. Also, since I'm at the computer for 40+ hours a week, after a while, I get really bad headaches from being at the computer for too long. Finally I decided I just needed to suck it up and get them checked.

So I go to my eye doctor... they take all these weird pictures with these machines and stuff, and when the exam starts with the doctor, he tells me that he has to NUMB MY EYE. Have you ever had anethesia on your eye? It's weird. It feels like there's a little tiny person holding onto your eyeball and they're trying to pull your eyes shut. So after my eyes are nice and numb, he sticks this bright light in my face and tells me to keep my eyes open. My eyes start freaking out... I'm trying my hardest to keep them open, but they're fluttering all over the place. Finally, he tells me not to blink, and he sticks this blue light ON MY EYEBALL. Weird. I didn't feel it. Apparently he was checking for glaucoma, which in a 24 yr old girl I would think is incredibly unusual, but because of the color of my eyes (new to me) he needed to check. My eyes are a very weird color... they're blue, brown, green, violet, with flecks of gold. I literally have every eye color in my iris...which is one of the first signs of glaucoma. No worries, I'm fine. I just have freakishly colored eyes.

After this, he tells me that he needs to dilate my eyes. "BUT I NEED TO DRIVE HOME!" Apparently, he says I'll be fine to drive. Luckily I only had to drive about 4 blocks, but I was still really paranoid. The worst part of the ordeal? When they used the word BIFOCALS. Yup. I go from no glasses to BIFOCALS. And in case you're wondering, "bifocals" isn't in Verizon's Word texting library. Because I sent my mother a text message that said "I need agencals." Since my eyes were dilated and I couldn't see a damn thing, I had no idea what I was typing. Also a bad idea? Having me pick out frames while my eyes are dilated. I'm pretty sure I look like a hot librarian. I could look like a big ol' nerd. We'll find out in 7-10 days when I get my glasses back.