Monday, February 22, 2010

And this is why I don't go to bars.

It's not that I'm anti social, it's just that I don't see the need to go to bars. I'm not trying to meet anyone. I don't see the point in spending ridiculous amounts for alcohol. And I like to have conversations with people I'm with at normal volumes, instead of shouting in their ear.

As you can imagine, I know a lot of DJs. And one of my friends DJs at a bar in Philly pretty regularly, so we went to see him mix on Saturday night. The place was packed, mostly with bachelorette and bachelor parties. Can I tell you how much I hate bachelorette parties? Hate. My favorite bachelorette party I attended was when we went to a bunch of dive bars and tried to make the bartender do a swedish fish shot, but they were always out of Jager. But I digress.

I could barely move. This one really drunk girl (who kinda looked like Snooki from Jersey Shore) kept trying her best to knock me over with her drunken dancing. I had one vodka and ginger ale, except I didn't detect any ginger ale whatsoever which makes me believe it was out of syrup, so I really had a vodka and soda. It was pretty good. It needed a lime though.

When Gene and I do go to bars, we like to play a few games. One of them is "spot the celebrity." Not actual celebrities, just people who kinda look like other people. That night in addition to Snooki we also saw James Marsden, who was sucking face in a really awkward way with an overly drunk, barely standing girl. We also like to play "who is going home with the DJ," but we didn't play that yesterday since we were with the DJ's girlfriend. She was going home with the DJ (despite one angry blondes sad attempts). Last night we got to play a game called "How much is too much?" Girls started standing and dancing on the speakers (bad for the speakers, by the way). Started with 2 girls. Girls got down on their own, and 2 boys got up. 2 boys, not allowed to dance. Too heavy. Then, 3 girls got up to dance. 3 girls are okay. One boy got up with them, too much. Boy has to get down. Then 2 more girls get up there. Apparently 5 girls on expensive speakers is a-okay, but 2 boys is TOO MUCH.

Also, some advice for those girls... if you're wearing a skin tight black mini dress probably made of spandex, and no underwear, you PROBABLY shouldn't dance up on something where creepy drunk guys can rub your legs and see your vajayjay. Just a thought.

Around 1am, I had had enough loud for the evening and wanted to go home, so we go back to our car. Outside, there is some dude with blood POURING down his face, and he's screaming at some guy and there's a girl in between them saying "Do me a favor. Baby, do me a favor. Just do me a favor" while bloody guy is still screaming and trying to go after who I assume punched him in the face. Then we see some guy smoking SOMETHING... that was NOT a cigarette, and I'm pretty sure NOT pot (I know what pot smells like. That wasn't pot). THEN!! I saw a hit and run. Well. I didn't see the ACTUAL hit and run. But I heard a car-crashing noise, saw silver car against black car, and 4 drunk people trying to walk, black car sped up... silver car chased him.

The only thing that would have made my night venture into Philly complete would have been some gang blocking off streets. Luckily, we got right on the highway back home after like a mile and everything was fine. And I love my friend and all, but I'm not going to see him again.

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