Reasons I shouldn't play poker before bed...

So I love me some poker, and last night A and our friend invited us to play a freeroll at a local bar. It was actually a lot of fun, except for the really nerdy guy who kept hitting on me and pretending like he knew what he was doing. He didn't. Anyway, we got home later than usual... and I decided to read for a bit before bed. A decided to make popcorn. I'm not sure if it was the popcorn or the poker that made the following happen.

I had the most bizarre dream that I was pregnant and going into labor. It was March 16 (and the only reason I know is because later, my brother was mad at me for not giving birth on his birthday, which is St. Patrick's Day) and the baby (a girl) was very very tiny. However, I was in a show at school, and needed to go to the theatre on campus (and it was the real theatre on my real campus of the college I graduated from... not a theatre that I know in my dream is the theater but it's actually the mall) and I have to do a lot of dancing. I don't know what to do with the baby (whom I haven't named yet) so I put her under the table. Bad parenting, I know. But really, the hospital shouldn't have kicked me out. Then, my entire family shows up, and this girl I graduated with...JCo... starts hitting on my father BIG TIME and starts taking things out of the pockets of his pants. Very uncomfortable. My mother asks what I want to name the baby (whom I am now holding) and I decide to name her Liliana Morgan (Morgan after a friend whose birthday is March 16th) but I said I needed to check with A first (who in my dream was actually JCo's ex from college, not actually A) and my mother told me that it wasn't his decision and to screw him. Then my uncle who always in real life makes me uncomfortable started hitting on me (ew) and I reminded him that he was now a great uncle, and he shut up really quickly. Then I woke up. WEIRD. Really just weird.

Impatience. That's a virtue, right? No?

So yesterday I went a little batshit crazy because I had convinced myself that I needed to settle for an elopement despite the fact that I don't really want that and I also convinced myself that I was never going to get married after A told me we weren't eloping because it "isn't us" and he would never let me settle for that. Yesterday, I didn't think he is ever going to propose to me, and today I'm not totally convinced that he is going to someday, but at least I'm not sobbing like child at work for 3 hours today. In fact I'm pretty calm. I don't know why I went batshit crazy, to be honest. It's been really stressful lately with the dreaded dinner last week, and the Cunt (Z) being herself... and D's surprise 60th this weekend, and spending time with my family and having all of them pressure me about getting married.. it's a lot in a one week period.

I hadn't been in any rush to get married before... I'm still a good bit away from checking the 25-35 box, so I don't know what my rush is. I don't want kids anytime soon... I want to wait at least 3-4 years before that happens. And it isn't like he can easily leave me now that we bought a house together, so ha. I guess. The only thing that I really do want, and I know that we can't right now because things just are too hectic and crazy, but I really want a pupper. A lot. I've never had a dog.. and I really want one. There's a fairly local dog breeder that I found downstate, and they breed yorkies all the time, and that's what I want. A yorkie, or a morkie, or a yorkiepoo. Morkies are cute little guys. The breeder is a good 1 1/2 to 2 hours away from us, but at least it's fairly local... and from a registered breeder and not some dude in a trailer. I know that we should adopt, but if we're thinking of having kids... I'd rather not have some abused dog that might bite my hypothetical imaginary infant. Plus with my allergies, I need to have some kind of terrier with hair instead of a dog with fur. And I don't want a big dog. We also don't have a very big house, so a little guy would be better for the space we have. It isn't like I can just let him/her out into the backyard. I don't have one of those. I live in a city. I don't get a backyard, I get a concrete slab that I share with my nextdoor neighbor that I've said all of 3 words to.

Completely unrelated to puppers and going batshit crazy... I haven't been sleeping lately because of severe back pain inbetween my shoulder blades. I hold all of my tension there and in my lower back, and lately it's been really hurting a lot. I was bad and took vicodin the other night that A had when he had kidney stones, and it felt A LOT better... but now it's really aggitated again. I think I may go to a chiropractor and see if it helps. I've had a few recommendations from people at work. I might call the one guy who a guy I work with, we'll call him Soren, recommended. Soren said he isn't one of those whackadoos and he isn't a really aggressive guy who is going to throw your head on the other side of your body people. He uses some device called an aggitator? We'll see. I think I'm going to call the guy. It's starting to get annoying. Maybe I can get an appointment later this week.

Skeletons on the floor.

This weekend I spent time with my. entire. family. On my mother's side, anyway. My father's side are all egotistical elitist pricks, which I recently discovered. My mom's family can be egotistical and prickish, but they at least don't think they're better than everyone else. Most of them anyway. I have one uncle who thinks he's better than us... but he stole money from my family for years and his wife is a bitch, as are most of his in-laws, so he can continue to think he's better than us, but I know he's a liar and a thief, so ha.

I used to hate spending time with my mom's family because I didn't think I had much in common with them. I was convinced that I was closer to my one cousin on my dad's side than I was with my mom's side.. but I was completely lying to myself. My mom's family and I are very loving with one another... we hug each other, we kiss each other goodbye and hello... when I see my dad's family, it's like pulling teeth to get them to shake your hand. It's really bizarre. I'm much closer with my two cousins on my mother's side than on the one cousin my age on my father's side. One of my cousins on my mom's side (E) is getting married. She's been engaged for a while now... and they called the wedding off when her fiance shoved her out of a moving car. PS she was pregnant and lost the baby. I was so afraid for her that I was ready to go up there and stay with her. Her parents were away (My aunt was in Ireland and my uncle was in Colombia) so she was all alone. Needless to say, I don't really like this guy. They were then living together, but not engaged anymore. Now they've set another date. October '09. I'm in the wedding by the way, so now our other cousin and I need to do the bridesmaidly thing and help find dresses and such and not say anything about how much we think this guy is a scumbag. I found out yesterday that he wants to get a prenup. The guy doesn't have anything to protect. Why does he need a damn prenup?? He's so backwards. And I just don't trust him. I also think E might be pregnant again...

Of course Patty talking about getting married again puts more pressure on Gene and I to get married...again. I don't have the energy, the resources, or the money to get married right now. I just bought a house. A keeps trying to convince me to elope... but I'm a girl, and I'm selfish, and I want to have the big party where I wear a white dress. He also hates weddings... like hates them. I also have a few awkward family situations. Ones like "Well if you invite so and so, then I'm not coming." And I really want to say fuck you.. it's my wedding.. and you're going. Suck it up for one day, because the only thing you're doing by refusing to come because so and so is invited (and in one case, if so and so isn't invited I'm not coming) you're just looking like the asshole. You're the asshole for not coming for a stupid ass reason. It's really really dumb, and it just pisses me off... I'm not trying to bring families back together, here, I just want the people I love there, and they can't get over themselves for one minute. ALL OF THEM. Every single one of them who is doing this to me and to A is a big asshole. Every one. At this point, it depresses me so much that I don't want to get married ever. It's not fair to me that everyone else in my family gets to have a wedding but me. And I hate to sound poor little me, but I don't understand why no one wants to go to my wedding. I can't invite my own fucking sister, because my stepmother and my mom's boyfriend (who to be honest is being a complete fucking douche bag about it) won't go. If I invite the stepmother and my mom's boyfriend, my sister won't go. If we don't invite A's uncle, his grandmother won't go. But if we DO invite his uncle, then A's godparents and all of their children and spouses won't come. It's ridiculous. I might as well just not get married and piss everyone off by living in sin.

Foolproof tips

So for the chicken... I took breasts (on the bone with the skin...I know, not healthy, but boneless breasts in the oven can dry out really quickly) patted them dry with a paper towel, and put them on a broiler pan (the underneath lined with foil). This way, fat from the chicken drips down through the slots of the broiler pan and your chicken isn't sitting in it. Then, mix room temp unsalted butter with fresh thyme, lemon zest, salt, and pepper (I put a bit of fresh garlic in it too, but not a lot). Stick your finger up in the skin of the chicken to loosen it up.. and then shove the butter under the skin. Really rub it around so it's all under the skin. Then brush the outside of the skin with melted butter. Season with salt & pepper (I use sea salt) and put in a preheated 450 degree oven and bake for about an hour. The skin should get really golden and crispy, and the meat is going to be really juicy and not at all dried out.

For the potatoes... these are my awesome potatoes. I love them. Cut a bunch of baby potatoes in half, and boil them until just tender. Drain the potatoes, then heat up equal parts olive oil and unsalted butter in a skillet. Put the drained cookied potatoes in the skillet after the butter turns frothy, and cook the potatoes again until they're nice and brown. Then add crush garlic, fresh thyme (or rosemary, or sage, or tarragon... just a strong fresh herb. I used thyme since I did thyme in the chicken) and salt & pepper, and cook until it's all mixed around. Usually some of the smaller potatoes are a little more cooked than the bigger ones, so they break as your turning the potatoes.. and then all the inside potato bits get all over the rest of the potatoes, and it's yummy. It makes them look rustic. I suppose you COULD skin them if you want, but I love leaving the skins on potatoes. Even in mashed potatoes. But by boiling the potatoes first, you ensure that they're fully cooked... and they don't get dried out.

A little introduction

So, I'm new here. Never really blogged before, but after a friend of mine started a blog (which I'll most likely link) I decided to start one as well. I'd like to leave myself fairly anonymous, since well, I can be catty. And I'd like to not get in trouble. But I need an outlet. I'll tell you that I check off the 18-25 box, I live in the Northeast, and I used to be an actor. For a long time. Not a professional actor, mind you, but it was how I defined myself for so long.

I gave up acting midway through college. I still finished my theatre degree, but I had decided midway through my sophomore year that I didn't want to act professionally anymore. Not even a little. So I gave it up. I never wanted to seriously move to NYC or LA, so I figured why bother? I did audition for a few regional theatres around the area, but for fun not money. Now I'm working at a job I moderately like (sometimes it gives me high blood pressure. But only sometimes). I lived at a place I hated, and recently bought (yikes!) a place I love. And I live in sin with my boyfriend of a long time. I am in no hurry to get married and don't feel that I should be rushed by anyone. I have no moral opposings to living with someone, in fact, I think it's kind of stupid not to live with someone before you marry them. My parents and his parents have no moral opposings to us living together either, and it was his grandmother's idea... so... I think we aren't going to hell. Not for that, at least.

I've decided that this blog might be a little rant-y. It is, after all, my outlet for things I'm not allowed to say out loud. It's my Inner Monoblog. I think I'm going to change my headline to that if I can.. I just came up with it, and I like it a lot. You might have noticed that I tend to not use complete sentences. While I'm a complete grammar Nazi, I tend to type as a speak... and sometimes we speak in phrases, not sentences. Especially me. You do it, too... don't lie.

Well.. that's me. Basically. There is more, but I need material to post about, now, don't I? I have lots of baggage. Lots of it. If someone else (or me) wrote about my life...it would probably be really funny. It isn't so much funny at the time, but at least I know how to look back at myself and laugh. I think that's an important quality for someone to have.