I no longer have a wedding dress.
I'm kind of a little upset about it, but it's going to be okay. My friend Heather is an amazing fashion designer, and she asked to see the pattern I picked out for my wedding dress. Naturally, I wanted her opinion because I trust it a lot. Immediately she says "Oh... this is cut on the bias..."
Basically, fabric has grain. For most garments, the grain goes up and down or side to side. On bias cut fabric, the pieces are cut out so that the grain line is diagonal. What this does is it makes the fabric less stretchy. More form fitting. Less forgiving. Altering a dress that is cut on the bias drastically changes the shape of the dress. You make one half in tuck on two seams... and all of the sudden the top is buckling, the side has a weird bulge, and you want to shoot the dress with a bazooka. Gzilla's mother and I played this game with a ball gown that I needed for a fundraiser last year. It didn't go well. I looked fat. Really. I looked about 30 pounds heavier than I am. And unless I stood PERFECTLY STRAIGHT, the dress would fall down.
So now I have to go dress shopping. I made my appointment at a local bridal salon, and now I'm waiting for the terror to set in. I thought this was going to be so easy... I found a dress pattern I liked. I was just supposed to go fabric shopping and be done! Now I have to try on a bajillion dresses in front of the half dozen people I have to bring with me because I can't make a decision for myself, and I need to find the dress that makes me cry when I put it on (cry in a good way, not in a bad way). So I'm forcing my mother, Gzilla's mother, my maid of honor, one of my other bridesmaids, my flower girl, and becklette to accompany me in my quest for the perfect dress.