Thursday, August 27, 2009

Go Bananas! (b-a-n-a-n-a-s)

When I was in high school... I ate fruit just about every single day. I know that I've mentioned my fruit allergy before, but I recently discovered what it ACTUALLY is.

Oral Allergy Syndrome

It explains EVERYTHING. Why I can have cooked fruit... why I can have juice... why it's only stuff that is fresh...

After reading into OAS a little more, I discovered that it's a severe reaction to the POLLEN, and since I'm super allergic to every tree ever... it makes sense that I have a reaction to apples, plums, and pluots (crossbreed of plums and apricots. It's the fruit I miss the most, and they are DELICIOUS) and why when I got my allergies tested... I didn't have any reaction to any of the fruit.

But I did notice that there are different groups of OAS. People who are sensitive to apples for instance, are also sensitive to pears, peaches, plums, etc. But bananas are in a separate group. And I discovered that I can eat bananas. I'm really super excited about that... because I love peanut butter and banana sandwiches. It's my guilty pleasure. I made grilled peanut butter and banana sandwiches in honor of Elvis's death one year. My friend from high school's dad was OBSESSED with Elvis (and yes, he did own Elvisopoly) and so we made fried (grilled...) peanut butter and banana sandwiches. 12 of them. And my friend and I ate them all since no one was willing to try it. It's delicious, in case you're wondering.

I had a banana for breakfast this morning. It was very exciting. So I may be back to trying fruits with a bottle on Benadryl next to me again. That's what I did when this developed with I was 18... so maybe there are other fruits that I will be able to eat! (I'm hoping that citrus, melons, and grapes are okay. I'm trying things that don't really grow on trees, or that have a peel like bananas and citrus)

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

When I grow up...

When I was little, I wanted to be the voice of a Disney Princess (despite telling my next door neighbor that I wanted to be a pole dancer, but that was the year before). That hasn't changed all that much... I would still love to make a living doing voice work, but it's a very hard business. One that's very hard to break into.

The other profession that I really love is makeup. That's one of the reasons that I started working at ULTA. I love wearing makeup... I love playing with makeup... I love doing other people's makeup. And I get to do that at ULTA. My favorite things to do is pick out prom makeup and pick out wedding makeup. It's like I'm kind of part of the event because I'm helping that person feel special (sure it's in an entirely superficial way, but whatevs. It makes me happy, ok?)

Yesterday... I got to pick out this girl's wedding makeup. The trick about wedding makeup is that you want the bride to look like herself, but the very best version of herself. The hardest part is eye makeup, because you want to define and make the eye pop without making it too dark, and trust me that's difficult. But I managed to find this perfect balance for this girl, and she looked awesome.

And then she asked me if I would come and do it for her on Saturday. The day of her wedding.


I've never done anyone's makeup for their ACTUAL wedding. I've done bridesmaids who come into ULTA and get makeovers (which technically we're not allowed to do... because it is a service, and they should go to our salon and get an esthetician to do it for a charge, but at the time we didn't have an esthetician on staff...) but never the bride. I'm a bit super nervous. A bit super excited. And totally honored, because this girl liked my style so much that she's willing to charge me to do it for this huge important day.

When I was halfway through school... I was THIS CLOSE to going to beauty school and getting my cosmetology license. But I had already put myself through almost 3 years of private college, and I didn't want to waste that time. I had this secondary plan where when I had loans paid off (which will be when I'm 50 at this rate...) I would get my cosmetology license. And I actually have looked into it. But I need to be at a better place financially. I'm really good at makeup. And I'm pretty good at hair. I think it's in the blood. My mom was a hair stylist for a long time, and I think that's why I always had an interest for it.

I have so many relationships with makeup artists because of ULTA, and honestly I don't know how many of them are license cosmetologists or estheticians. But I would love to join that caliber of talent.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Appropriate Phone Etiquette

Occasionally, I fill in for the receptionist at work. I answer the phones at lunchtime among other things. And a whole lot of crazies call radio. This afternoon, however, I definitely met my match.

I answered the phone with my usual bright company name... and hear breathing. I repeat the name a little less bright with a HELLO? in front, clearly agitated. Then I hear mumbled whispering. So the third time I say, "You're going to have to speak up. I cannot hear you since you're WHISPERING." That's when I understand what he's saying. He's still whispering. But it's this older man... and he's really fucking creepy. And he's asking me what I'm wearing.

Seriously, creepy old man? That's what you got? Nothing more original than that? What are you wearing? I just hung up. But every time I answered the phone after that, I expected to hear him again.

But that got me thinking. I am often annoyed at people who call in... because half of the time they don't know what radio station they're calling, or they're trying to call the studio and call the business line instead. Then there are the people who tell me their entire life story, but refuse to leave someone a voicemail when they're been on the phone for 25 minutes.

Why do people have to be so difficult? And when I say that someone is at lunch, or that they're in a meeting, or that they're on a phone call... I'm not lying. And there's no reason for you to get all snippy with me. I'm just the messenger, buddy.

I'm sorry that I'm cranky... but it's the days that I have to work the front desk that really make my blood boil. Because on those days, I don't get to eat lunch. Because I'm on the front desk at 12:30, and the receptionist doesn't get back until after 2:00. And at that point, I've gone past hungry into "no longer hungry, but should eat because I'm supposed to." Today I opted for "no longer hungry, but should eat because I'm supposed to." The one day I tried to be proactive and go out at 11 to get lunch early? Yeah..that's when I got in the car accident, so I'm not doing that anytime soon. I could pack my lunch, but that means that my "wake up 20 minutes before I'm supposed to leave" morning routine will be compromised, and we can't have that.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Oh, driver? Take me to work please.

I've been struggling as to whether or not I was going to blog about this. But after Ali's post on The Way I See It I decided to share a little.

Short version? I was in a car accident... my car is definitely not fine... but I'm mostly fine.

The long (edited) version? I was on my way to get lunch... driving down a road that I'm on every single day... doing the same motions that I do every single day... when a driver going the opposite way down that same road made a left-hand turn in front of my car. My front bumper is gone. My windshield is smashed to little bits. My hood is all scrunchy. I am mostly okay though. I just have some back pain. Yes I'm seeing my doctor. I'm doing everything right.

But unlike Ali, the officer that I had to deal with was a lovely human being. He was great about explaining everything to me about what I needed to do and everything. I feel like the day of the accident I did nothing but make phone calls to insurance people and family members and whatnot. My dad did send me flowers though, which was very nice.

My car is totalled. But I'm going to be driving Ruth soon. Ruth is my little sister's car. She named it Ruth. But now my sister has a new car, Luna, and Ruth hasn't been sold yet. (I don't name cars... but she does. Since the car already has a name, I'll probably keep the name. Gene and I have already started referring to it as Ruth.) So as soon as the insurance and everything has been switched to me, I'll have wheels again. And I won't be chauferred around town anymore.

It's so inconvenient to have to rely on other people for a ride somewhere!!! At least the first week after the accident Gene was home... but now he's not. So now I need to bribe people to drive me places. This morning I bribed my friend with bagels and coffee. I think that will only go so far. I could buy her some Strongbow (it's a hard cider from England... and it's DELICIOUS) as a thank you.

At the moment I'm trying to look on the bright side. I'm trying not to get sad that my very first car (okay, it was really my sixth car. But it was the first car that I bought all by myself. So I feel like it really was my first car) is dead now. And I'm trying not get freaked out everytime I see people brake in front of me and i feel like the person driving (mainly Gene) doesn't brake early enough for my liking. I'm trying not to hyperventilate everytime I have to drive down the road where my accident was. I could avoid it, but that would be very inconvenient. And I'm really trying not to think about what a pain in the ass it is that I was hit. But I was very lucky. I'm trying to concentrate on that.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

The Family Smile

This isn't the first, and it probably won't be the last, time that I've mentioned my dislike for some of my extended family. I have family members who can't remember Gene's name (and we've been together for six years...) and treat him as if they've never met him before. Probably because he doesn't make a lot of money. My godfather forgets about me every Christmas... but remembers all of my other cousins and spouses of cousins. I have one cousin that i used to be really close with. We barely speak now.

I don't know what I did to piss my family off so much. I mean, I do realize now that they aren't all sunshine and rainbows... and that they are horribly flawed. They aren't as close as they all pretend to be... and they aren't very nice people (for the most part. there are some members of my extended family that I love dearly).

Most of this dislike came bubbling out at a recent wedding... where my one cousin refused to give me a hug, refused to say hello to me or to Gene, and flat out ignored me the entire time. Her sister-in-law was absolutely lovely... and I adore her. At first I let it get to me... and I even started to tear up... because I want nothing more than to have that little bubble back where I think my family is wonderful and everyone is happy. And I want them to like me. I really don't like it when people don't like me, and I know I shouldn't care what people think, but that's how I work, ok? I don't know what I did to these people that they despise me.

We left the wedding early (and the fact that Gene was even there is a huge deal. He refuses to go to family functions because he doesn't like pretending to people) and apparently that's when all hell broke loose. I got a phone call earlier today from my father asking me if everything was all right with my sister. He said that she basically closed herself off after we left... and was very quiet, and he was worried about her. Because my gem of a perfect cousin (the one who wouldn't say hello to me?) said something to my sister... don't know what, my dad wouldn't tell me, and then proceeded to call my father an asshole. Which he said he provoked, but I don't know. I think what happened was she probably said something snide either about me or my sister... my dad defended us... and she called him an asshole.

Are other peoples families like this? Perfect on the outside but volatile when pushed? I would love nothing more than to rip these people a new one.. but they're my family and I feel like I'm supposed to just play nice... smile... and take it. I've already let them know why Gene doesn't come around. They didn't like my answer. Maybe that's why they all hate me.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Three Easy Ways to Get a Girl

I don't know what's in the water lately... but over the past three or four days, I've been publicly hit on three times. And not by people I'd want to hit on me either.

First, I was up at my old college again... at the place where they've been hiding the liquor store (but I was there to get coffee, not booze.) with a friend of mine. This (visibly drunk) "gentleman" walked up to us, bent over sideways so that he could "check us out" with his entire body (not just his head... his entire torso) and said, "Hey Ladies!" followed by a sexual grunt.

That's exactly how to get me to make out with strangers in public, in case you were wondering.

Then yesterday, I was hit on TWICE while driving my car. The first time, I was at a stoplight in front of this sketchy looking corner store, and this guy started screaming, "Hey, miss! Miss! Smile for me. Just one smile. C'mon, smile for me. Hey miss--smile for me." I didn't even turn my head... because I was desperately trying not to burst out laughing.

Then... at another stoplight a few blocks later, some guy on a bike (oh yeah...) did some cat call... and said something. It was so inappropriate that I've blocked it from memory. But at that point, I couldn't stop myself from laughing. It was just too hilarious.

Do guys seriously think that works? My favorite has to be the "Hey, ladies" lush. Because I think he honestly thought that one or both of us was going to go with him. The only men who can get away with yelling inappropriate things at me? Toddlers.